


For Life and Love

by JamieJam93



Category: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction
Genre: Also Harry is kind of a dick sometimes sorry, Cancer (eventually), Child abandonment (mentioned), F/M, If you would like to know if Louis lives contact me!!!, Infidelity, M/M, Possible Character Death, Sexual harassment (NOT rape!!!!), Sick!Louis (eventually), alternative universe, mention of anxiety/panic attacks, mention of drugs, minor character death (pre-story)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-03-29 16:03:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 65,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3902338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamieJam93/pseuds/JamieJam93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a down-on-his-luck stripper, doing what he can to ensure that his two younger sisters have a good life, because life hasn't been kind to Louis. Though, despite everything, he still has a heart of gold. </p><p>Harry is the man who has everything, but often forgets that he has a heart.</p><p>When the two meet, tensions arise, emotions fly and, somewhere in the mess of it all, they fall in love. Louis gives Harry something to re-open his heart to and all Harry wants is to give Louis something to fight for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like those tags are all over the place and I sincerely apologize for that. But, yes, I know some people may like not knowing if an ending will be happy or sad, but probably most people don't, so if you would like to know if Louis lives, just e-mail me at jamiebrennan01@outlook.com or go here ( http://it-hurts-doesnt-it.tumblr.com/ )and shoot me a message. I'll answer ASAP!
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy this! 
> 
> (Also I know it is kind of awkward timing, with the recent drama, but let's pretend that didn't happen, ok? I like fantasy worlds :p)

            Harry really didn’t know how he let himself get into this situation. Yes, it was his best friend’s bachelor party, but…Actually, it wasn’t even his _real_ bachelor party. Harry had been planning on skipping that event, though he had RSVP’d that he would go. He never really intended on following through, and he guessed his two closest friends had caught on. Otherwise, what was the point of a ‘pre bachelor' party, especially when it was just the three of them at a gay strip club?

         Zayn, the groom-to-be, was decked out in a tiara and bride-to-be-sash, despite the fact that he actually had a bride.

            “The manly stuff is for his actual party,” Niall said. “Zayn is about to dedicate himself to lady parts for the rest of his life, and so he needs one more night of gay, and who better to spend it with than his only two homosexual friends?”

            Still, Harry didn’t have to say yes, and he only did because he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he didn’t.

            Harry was weak.

            Oh well. Those two knew what they were doing to him, and they would pay because Harry was not below being a party pooper. He was quite a good party pooper, in fact. Yes, Zayn and Niall were going to regret ever plotting this evil night out.

            Zayn was already tipsy when they arrived at the club, having started the party at dinner, and so the night was already unpromising, and things only got worse.

            “Oh my god,” Niall said, grabbing Harry and Zayn’s arms and stopping dead in his tracks as they approached the bar.

            “What’s wrong?” Harry asked.

            “I’m in love.”

            “What?”

            Niall didn’t answer, his eyes focused ahead. Furrowing his brow, Harry followed his gaze, finally seeing what, or, more accurately, who, was the cause of Niall’s sudden state.

            “The bartender?” Harry asked.

            “He’s beautiful,” Niall answered.

            “He’s cute,” Zayn agreed. “Let’s go talk to him!”

            The groom-to-be led the way, Niall making some peculiar noises the closer they got.

            “Hello!” Zayn greeted as he took a seat at the bar. Niall and Harry followed suit.

            “Hi!” the bartender said, smiling as he took in the three newest guests. Harry thought he saw his eyes linger on Niall and smirked. He _was_ quite cute. Not really Harry’s type, but cute, with his wide brown eyes, full lips and muscles. He was _definitely_ Niall’s type. “Can I get you all something to drink?”

            “Oh, I’m still thinking,” Zayn said. “You go first, Niall.”

            “Oh, um…uh…what do you make?”

            The bartender, Liam, his name tag read, listed off all of the available drinks, but Harry doubted Niall was even listening, his eyes trained on Liam’s lips. Luckily, his friend did order something from Liam’s list, and he got to work making it. Niall let out a big breath the moment his back was turned. Harry and Zayn locked eyes, both grinning widely. Harry was a party pooper, but he wasn’t a cock block.

            “Here you go! I hope you like it,” Liam said, setting Niall’s drink in front of him and looking a bit worried.

            “I’m sure it’s amazing,” Niall said, picking up the glass. Liam smiled.

            “Oh, give me one moment, please,” he said to Harry and Zayn.

            “Sure,” Zayn said. Liam leaned down, and a moment later, popped back up with a fussy baby in his arms. The trio’s mouths all fell open.

            “You have a baby at a strip club?!” Harry asked, though it was more of a statement.

            “Yep. This is Lily. She’s the sister of one of the entertainers.”

            “That doesn’t make it any better.”

            “I know.”

            Harry gave him a look of mild disdain and took a sip of Niall’s drink. He was much too sober for this. Should he call children’s services? He probably should, but he didn’t want to ruin Niall’s game. Perhaps tomorrow.

            Though they had a clear view of the stage from their spots at the bar, only Zayn seemed to be paying attention to the dancers. Niall was too busy chatting Liam’s ear off-and having his own talked off as well-and Harry was too busy staring into his glass trying to wish himself away from that place.

            _They had a baby at a strip club…_

            For the most part, Zayn seemed entertained, but not completely enthused. Good. Maybe Harry could get them out of there early.

            The current song faded and then the announcer introduced the next performer; some guy named Louis. Some people actually cheered and whistled.

            “He must be a popular one,” Niall mused.

            “Yeah, he’s one of the regulars’ favorites,” Liam said.

            “Why?” Niall asked.

            “He’s really good at what he does, for one, and he’s got a nice body _and_ face. Plus, this place hasn’t totally killed his soul yet.”

            “Are you in love with him?” Zayn spoke up, and Harry wasn’t even looking directly at Niall, but could still see his shoulders slump and knew the exact crestfallen look on his face.

            “No,” Liam answered with a small laugh. “I mean, he’s definitely attractive, but not really my type.”

            After a brief pause, Liam added,

            “I like blondes.”

            Harry did look at Niall then, just because he had to see the huge smile break across his face. He wasn’t let down and shook his head, taking another sip of his drink to hide his own smile.

            Due to their conversation, they had completely missed Louis actually coming onstage, and when they looked back to see him wrapping himself around a pole, both Niall and Zayn’s mouths dropped open for the second time that night. Harry rolled his eyes, turning to focus on the beverage in his hands, only looking up when a pair of fingers were snapping in front of his face.

            “What?” Harry asked, giving Zayn, who was leaned across Niall, about to fall into his lap, a strange look.

            “Do you see his arse?!” Zayn mouthed. Harry ignored that because no, he did not, and no he was not going to look either.

            “Come on!” Zayn exclaimed, jumping off his stool and grabbing onto his friends’ hands, pulling them to the stage. Great.

            Sensing new bodies approaching, the stripper, Louis, glanced over to the group and legitimately smirked. Harry was pretty sure his eyes stayed trained on him longer than the other two, and scowled once Louis finally looked away. _Why_ did he agree to come again? Suddenly, none of his earlier excuses seemed good enough.

            Though he was sure he probably had an actual strip routine, Louis spent most of his time collecting the money that the horny perverts were offering him, letting them touch him wherever they would like, and touching them as well; running his hands through their hair and pressing their bodies close as he whispered things into their ears, which Harry was pretty sure he saw Louis lick once or twice. It was disgusting. Harry honestly didn’t see how that was any different than prostitution.

            From beside him, Harry saw Niall slap Zayn on the butt and say something to him. Zayn, in turn, seemed to snap out of the trance the stripper had put him in and smiled widely, reaching into his wallet to get out some money. That was enough for Harry, and he went to sit back down at the bar, scowl on his face as he ordered a beer.

            “Are you straight?” Liam asked as he slid the bottle across the counter.

            “Why do you want to know?” Harry asked.

            “Because usually even straight guys look like they’re having more fun than you.”

            “I just don’t particularly like watching live porn,” Harry explained. Liam laughed.

            “Is your blonde friend straight?”

            “Are you serious?”

            Liam nodded, suddenly looking nervous.

            “Definitely not. Did you not see the heart eyes he was giving you?”

            The anxiety left Liam’s face then and a smile took place, a bright, crinkly eyed one that almost made Harry smile as well. Almost.

            Once Louis left the stage, Niall and Zayn returned, Zayn looking quite satisfied.

            “So is this a special occasion or are you just out having fun?” Liam asked, apparently somehow overlooking the sash across Zayn’s body and the tiara on his head. Of course, he’d been pretty focused on Niall, so…

            “This guy is getting married,” Niall explained, clapping Zayn on the back.

            “Congratulations!” Liam exclaimed.

            “Thank you,” Zayn said with a smile.

            “Would you like a lap dance?” Liam asked.

            “Thank you for that offer, Liam, and it sounds lovely, but I think Niall might get jealous if you give me a lap dance and not him.”

            “I…I didn’t mean from me,” Liam stammered, cheeks turning pink. Niall’s face had gone straight past pink and settled on red. “I meant from one of the entertainers.”

            “Ooh, can I get one from the lad with the ass?!”

            “Louis?” Liam said with another laugh.

            “Yeah. Louis.”

            “Yes, that can be arranged,” Liam assured him. Zayn appeared to internally die a little. Harry really wanted to go home.

            By the time Louis came back onstage, Zayn was even more trashed, and Niall had to help him to the stage for his lap dance. Louis, who was given the heads up before, of course, smiled when he saw Zayn stumbling over-smiled, not smirked-and helped Niall get him up to the chair that had been placed on the stage, and that was when Harry stopped watching.

            “Would you like a couple of shots on the house?” Liam asked. “Maybe loosen you up a bit.”

            “I’m the DD,” Harry said.

            “There are still a couple of hours before closing. You can sober up by then, or we can call you a cab. We don’t tow cars overnight or anything.”

            “No, I don’t want anything else.”

            “Alright then.”

            A few minutes later, Zayn and Niall had returned, Zayn even more unsteady than before.

            “Louis is so hot,” he sighed, plopping back down into his stool.

            “Having second thoughts about your wedding?” Harry teased.

            “Definitely not,” Zayn slurred. “I was just stating a fact. Can I have one more shot, Liam, dear, pretty please?”

            Louis left the stage soon after that, but instead of going backstage afterwards, he came over to the bachelor party trio, squeezing his body between Niall and Zayn.

            “Hello again, sweetie,” he said to Zayn, finger running lightly up and down his arm while Zayn stared like Louis was some ethereal creature. Or maybe he was just really, really drunk. “Did you enjoy your lap dance?” Louis continued. “Tell me the truth, please. I hope you did.”

            “I did,” Zayn assured him.

            “Good. I’m glad to hear it. Congratulations again on your wedding.”

            “Congratulations on your ass,” Zayn said, and Niall choked a bit on his drink. “Is it real?”

            “It is. Would you like to feel it?”

            “Really?” Zayn asked, eyes growing wide like he was a five-year-old who just learned Christmas was coming early. Harry’s friends were truly disgusting.

            “Of course,” Louis said, turning and exposing Zayn to his barely covered ass. He was knelt down a bit, hands on his knees, and when he looked up, his eyes suddenly locked with Harry’s. Louis smiled, but Harry did not return it. Meanwhile, Zayn had yet to touch the booty, hand half outstretched and eyes showing a mixture of fear and awe, like it would break if he touched it or something.

            “Go on,” Louis urged, half turning his head so the groom-to-be could better hear him. “It’s just a butt.”

            Harry shook his head and turned back to Liam, who was holding Lily again and, oh yeah, _there was a god damn baby in this strip club._

            “Yeah, that’s definitely real,” Zayn announced.

            “What do you do for it?” Niall questioned.

            “I was just blessed, honey,” Louis said, and Harry rolled his eyes. He was sure his ass wasn’t _that_ great.

            “Damn,” Niall said, impressed.

            “How can something be so firm and so bouncy at the same time?” Zayn inquired.

             “Oh my god,” Harry said. He should have kept his mouth shut because that drew Louis’s attention back to him, and he moved to squeeze in between Niall and Harry, though was turned towards the latter. Harry found himself drawing back, trying desperately not to touch the other’s lightly glittered body.

            “What are you so uptight about?” Louis asked, hip jutting out as he leaned sideways against the bar and stared into Harry’s soul. Harry gave him a look up and down, if only to break the eye contact, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t really have a great answer, at least one that he could voice to the man.

            “Oh. I see,” Louis said anyway, and Harry quirked an eyebrow, studying Louis’s face and trying to see what exactly he ‘saw.’ Now that Louis wasn’t dancing and flopping his genitals all around (though they were still quite close to Harry for his comfort), he could actually get a decent look at his face. Liam had been right. It was quite nice; clear, tan skin, sharp cheekbones, nicely shaped mouth and gorgeous blue eyes…With a pretty face like that, it was quite a shame that he felt the need to completely degrade his body.

            “You’re just not going to say a word to me, are you?” Louis spoke again.

            “What would you like me to say?” Harry asked, already proving him wrong.

            “Maybe hi and a name..?” Louis suggested.

            “Hi,” Harry replied, to which Louis let out a humorless laugh.

            “Right. Okay.”

            With that, he pushed himself off the counter, walking around the bar and making grabby hands to the baby in Liam’s arms, after throwing a long jacket that had been lying atop some boxes over his nearly naked body.

            “Hey, baby girl! How’s my sissy doing?” he cooed to Lily as Liam handed her over, Louis’s face brightening as he cradled her safely in his arms.

            “That’s your sister then,” Harry said. It wasn’t a question.

            “Yes,” Louis replied shortly, eyes still on the girl’s face.

            “Why do you bring your sister to the strip club?”

            Louis looked up and back at Harry, his bright eyes suddenly cool.

            “I’m not telling you my whole life story when I don’t even know your name.”

            “Fair enough, though I don’t think that question requires a whole life story in response.”

            Without another word, Louis turned on his heel and carried his sister backstage. An awkward silence followed.

            “I’m going to the bathroom,” Harry announced, hopping off of his stool.

            Once he was done doing his business (and stalling, hoping that when he returned, the others would be ready to leave), he left the restroom, and was suddenly attacked by Niall, who came seemingly out of nowhere and threw him pretty roughly against the wall.

            “Ouch! What the fuck?!” Harry asked, glaring. Niall was glaring right back.

            “You need to stop acting like a cunt!”

            “I’m not!”

            “Yes you are! Look, the stripper with the arse is the hot bartender’s best friend and he’s never going to agree on a date if he thinks my friend treats his friend like shit!”

            “I’m not the one that groped him.”

            “Don’t even. It’s a strip club. You’re _supposed_ to get touchy.”

            “How can someone do that to themselves?”

            “Not everyone inherits daddy’s fortune, Harry,” Niall said, finally letting go of his friend and heading back to the bar. He was right, of course. Harry did get lucky in that area, and he started to feel bad, though didn’t know why. He didn’t do anything.

            Louis dropped Lily back off to Liam after a little while, preparing for his last set of the night. Once he had finished, he returned to the group.

            “I sincerely hope his wedding isn’t tomorrow,” he commented as he eyed Zayn, who had literally passed out with his head on the counter. There was drool and everything. Harry may have sent a picture to Perrie, Zayn’s fiancée, because who wouldn’t want a picture of their wasted almost-husband wearing a tiara and passed out on the bar of a gay strip club? Okay, most people probably wouldn’t, but Perrie wasn’t one of them, since she assured Harry that the picture had been saved and secured for later use.

            “Nope. We’re not _that_ bad of friends,” Niall said.

            “We should probably get him home, though,” Harry said, “you know, before he throws up all over the bar.”

            “It wouldn’t be the first time,” Liam commented.

            “Can I have a shot, please, Liam?” Louis asked, situated between Niall and Zayn again, and that did say something, maybe, that he was risking standing next to Zayn instead of Harry.

            “What kind, Lou?” Liam asked.

            “Whatever you feel like making, love.”

            Liam mixed something together and slid it to Louis, who downed it without even a wince.

            “You drink on the job?” Harry asked, and he didn’t mean it like _that_ , he really didn’t, but Louis set the glass down with more force than necessary and turned to Harry, hand on his hip and annoyed look on his face.

            “ _You_ try to bear your body to a bunch of horny strangers while completely sober,” he said, quite taking Harry aback.

            “No, I didn’t mean…I just meant-”

            Louis didn’t let him finishing stammering that out.

            “You aren’t better than me, Curly,” he said, walking away again after that. Harry fidgeted a bit with his curls as another awkward pause ensued.

            “I’m so sorry,” Liam eventually spoke. “He gets like that at the end of the night sometimes…”

            _How dare_ _he_ was what Harry wanted to say (or something along those lines that was more heavily worded), but Niall was giving him a pleading look and since Harry quite liked Liam, at least for a bartender at a strip club who was completely okay with the fact there was a baby there, Harry simply shrugged.

            “It’s fine,” he said, and Niall’s face relaxed, pure gratitude written on his face.

            “We really should get Zayn home, though,” the Irish man said. Liam couldn’t quite hide the disappointment on his face.

            “Okay,” he said anyway. “I hope you had fun.”

            “I had a great time,” Niall assured him. “And I really enjoyed talking to you.”

            Liam smiled, though it wasn’t the same crinkly eyed one as before.

            “Do you think we could talk some more?” Niall asked, and _there_ was that smile.

            “Yeah. Um, I mean, that would be nice. Fine.”

            Liam quickly wrote his number down on a piece of paper, because apparently it was the 60s and he couldn’t program it into his phone, but Niall tucked the slip of paper safely into his wallet and smiled.

            “Great. I’ll be in touch.”

            Harry and Niall both went over to help Zayn down, and, luckily, he woke at their touch.

            “Wha’s happening?” he asked.

            “We’re getting you home, buddy,” Niall said.

            “Hold on, not ready,” he said.

            “I think you’re more than ready,” Niall disagreed. Zayn ignored him, fumbling clumsily into his wallet for the rest of the money he’d taken out for the night and all but throwing it at Liam.

            “Here you go. Split it with Lou…Louis, and tell him I’m sorry I molested him.”

            “That really isn’t necessary,” Liam said, attempting to slide the money back to Zayn, but he would have none of it.

            “It is necessary.”

            “Alright,” Liam said after Niall shrugged at him. “Thank you. Congratulations again.”

            Zayn gave him a thumbs up and then fell against Niall, head rolling onto his shoulder, so, putting an arm around the highly intoxicated man’s waist, Harry helped Niall get him into the backseat of the car before setting a bucket right by Zayn’s head and informing him that if he got sick and missed, he wouldn’t live to see himself with a wife. Zayn probably didn’t hear the threat because he was already mostly unconscious again, but Harry decided that was his own problem.

            “I can’t believe I actually got his number!” Niall said excitedly, having taken the little slip of paper out of his wallet to stare at adoringly.

            “Really? Because I’m pretty sure he was going to cry when he thought you were leaving without it.”

            “He wasn’t going to cry,” Niall said. There was silence, and then he let out an excited scream. Harry jumped, nearly swerving the car, and even Zayn cursed at him from the backseat.

            “Sorry,” Niall said. “I’m just so excited.”

            “You’re a thirteen-year-old girl,” Harry said.

            “You say that like it’s an insult,” Niall said. “Besides, don’t be bitter. You could have gotten Louis’s number if you hadn’t been such a dick head.”

            “I wouldn’t be proud of getting a stripper’s number,” Harry said. Niall sighed.

            “I don’t know why I’m still friends with you, Styles.”

            “Same, Horan. Same.”


	2. Chapter 2

            Harry still hadn’t heard from Niall the next afternoon and figured that could mean one of two things. Either he had spent the whole day talking to his bartender or things had gone downward and he was nursing a broken heart.

            Finally, once evening rolled around, his phone began buzzing frantically and he glanced down to see Niall’s name flashing up at him.

            “Hello?” He answered, holding the phone a bit away from his ear should his friend find it necessary to scream again.

            “What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked instead, calmly.

            “Nothing. Why?”

            “Because we’re going on a double date!”

            “Sounds fun, Niall, but are you forgetting that I don’t have a boyfriend?”

            “No, I am not, and don’t worry. We have a date for you.”

            “I’m guessing ‘we’ means you and the bartender from last night. What was his name again?”

            “Liam. Isn’t that the hottest name ever?”

            “It’s an alright name.”

            “Arse. But yes, I did score a date with that beautiful, beautiful man, but he works tonight and already had plans with his friend tomorrow, so we’re turning it into a double date.”

            “Couldn’t he just reschedule his plans with his friend? Or with you?”

            “No and no.”

            “Whatever. So what’s this friend’s name?”

            “Louis.”

            “Louis as in the stripper Louis?”

            “Yes.”

            “No.”

            “Please, Harry! That’s the only way I can see Liam tomorrow!”

            “Then just wait.”

            “I can’t! I’m in love!”

            “You’re not in love.”

            “Pretty damn close. Please! Please, please, please, please, please, please?!”

            Harry sighed, making his disdain known, before groaning out a ‘fine.’ Then, Niall screamed.

            “Thank you! I love you so much!”

            “Yeah, yeah.”

            “It’s just a simple dinner and movie date, so I think you can be nice for that.”

            “Hey, Louis, acted like a bitch too.”

            “Because you offended him. Please just put that behind you and try to get along like mature adults?”

            “Fine. And I’ll at least pretend to have a little bit of fun. Just a little.”

            “Thank you.”

            “Just tell me where I’m meeting you and when.”

***

            Harry almost canceled the next evening. He was so tempted to feign sick, but guessed that Niall wouldn’t believe him and, even if he did, would still never forgive him. It might not be so bad anyway. Liam was an alright guy, at least, or so he seemed. Besides, he really only had to suffer through dinner. Once they went to the movie, he could sit there and pretend he was alone if he wished.

            So he went, but was going to put in the minimal amount of effort, as his plain T-shirt and jeans put out. It wasn’t like he was ever going to see Louis again after that night, and they were both only doing this for their friends anyway.

            Though when Harry actually saw Louis, he did kind of wish he’d at least worn a black T-shirt instead of white.

            Louis was in a tee as well, but his was much nicer than Harry’s. It was a dark red color that looked great against his tan skin, and dipped down enough to show off collarbones while also being tight enough to hug the rest of his torso. Instead of wearing plain blue jeans, he was in black skinnies. He looked good, and Harry’s surprise must have shown because, as he watched Louis, the last to arrive to the restaurant, heading to their table, Niall leaned over and whispered,

            “What, did you expect him to show up half naked?”

            Harry glared because of course he didn’t. Not really.

            Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Niall and Liam got on extremely well and carried almost all the conversation. Harry would offer his thoughts and opinions at times (and yes, he was being nice), but Louis only spoke when he was directly spoken to by one of them. Harry felt as if he should say something to him too, but had no idea what, and Louis was virtually ignoring him anyway. He concentrated on his drink, the sweat on his glass, the painting by their table, Liam’s shirt, the menus…everything but Harry. Hell, his entire body jerked back so much when he and Harry reached for the appetizer at the same time and their hands brushed that Liam jumped and asked what happened. Harry thought Louis was being a bit dramatic because they hadn’t gotten on _that_ terribly the other night, but he didn’t voice that opinion out loud. He had rolled his eyes, however, because seriously.

            After he had finished eating, Louis spoke up for the first time to excuse himself and go outside to call the babysitter.

            “I’m sorry, but how long did you say he’s had custody of his sisters?” Niall asked Liam once Louis was out of sight.

            “I don’t think I did, but it’s been…almost five months now,” Liam replied.

            “He has custody of his sisters?” Harry asked, eyebrow raised.

            “Yeah,” Liam answered simply. Suddenly, Harry felt guilty again and, once again, didn’t know why because it wasn’t _his_ fault. He supposed it was just what Niall had said about not everyone inheriting ‘daddy’s’ fortune. Still, Louis didn’t have to strip. There were plenty of jobs out there...

            Despite that, Harry found himself reaching for the bill that had been placed in Louis’s spot. Liam put his hand out, stopping him.

            “Please don’t,” he said. “Louis doesn’t like being treated like a…a charity case or something.”

            “I’m just trying to help,” Harry said.

            “That’s really nice of you, but he won’t accept it.”

            Reluctantly, Harry laid the other’s bill down, shrugged and paid for his own. Fine, see if he tried to be nice again.

            He did, though, at the movie theater, when he asked Louis if he could pay for his ticket. Louis shot that idea right down and also looked at Harry as if he’d grown another head. Okay, then. Whatever. Harry wasn’t bothered.

            They found their seats right on time, Harry sitting first, and then Louis (reluctantly), followed by Liam and then Niall.

            Harry didn’t pay much attention to the movie, distracted by his ‘date’ repeatedly checking his phone. Finally, Liam snatched it away and Louis maybe focused on the screen for a couple of minutes before focusing instead on Liam’s pocket, where he knew his device was hidden, while fidgeting nervously; trying three times to steal it back but getting his hand slapped away each time. It was quite stressful to witness, actually, and Harry almost told Liam to stop hitting him, but knew it wasn’t his place and that Louis wasn’t actually being _hit_.

            That seemed to be the longest movie that Harry had sat through in his life.

            “Well, it was nice to see everyone,” Louis said as the group exited the theater, reaching into Liam’s pocket and stealing his phone back. Harry didn’t think he quite meant the words he said. “I have to be getting back to the girls, though. Liam, I will see you at work tomorrow.”

            “See ya, Lou,” Liam said at the same time that Niall said a pleasant goodbye. Louis didn’t even wait for Harry to say goodbye before turning on his heel and walking briskly towards his car.

            “See you later, mates,” Harry said to Liam and Niall before beginning to follow the other man. He could feel the pair’s eyes burning a hole through his head, but whatever.

            “What are you doing?” Louis asked, not even having to turn around to know who was stalking him.

            “You had a terrible time tonight, didn’t you?” Harry asked instead of answering.

            “No,” Louis said. “Did you?”

            “No,” Harry said.       

            “Good.”

            They kept walking in silence, Louis just a couple paces ahead, until he reached his car, when he whipped around so fast that Harry had to stop dead in his tracks to avoid running into him.

            “Can I help you?!” Louis asked, putting an emphasis on ‘help,’ though his whole tone had much more attitude than Harry appreciated.

            “God damn, what is your problem?!” Harry replied with a question again, without giving Louis time to answer. “I just wanted to apologize for if I seemed like a jerk the other night. I didn’t mean to.”

            “Yeah, I kind of figured it just came naturally for you,” Louis said, and Harry found himself growing quite angry; about to tell Louis off, before he noticed the hint of a smile on the man’s face, and let out a small one of his own.

            “But in my defense, you went all diva and walked away when I was trying to compliment you,” Harry spoke. Louis laughed loudly.

            “And when the hell was that?!”

            “When I asked you if you drank on the job, I was going to tell you that it was pretty amazing you could dance like that while under the influence.”

            Louis narrowed his eyes, studying Harry quite intently before murmuring a disbelieving, “Really?”

            “Really.”

            “Alright then,” Louis said, shifting positions and crossing his arms. “Then I’m sorry.”

            “Apology accepted,” Harry assured him, offering his hand. “And in that case, hi, I’m Harry.”

            Louis smiled, but wiped it off of his face quickly, giving the other’s outstretched hand a look.

            “Are you sure you actually want to touch me?” he asked. Harry smiled a bit, keeping his arm outstretched, so Louis shook Harry’s hand and said,

            “Hello, Harry. I’m Louis.”

            “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Harry said. Louis simply rolled his eyes and unlocked his car. Harry held the door for him while he climbed in and buckled up and then shut it, offering a small wave as Louis drove away. He would have thought Louis was ignoring him if not for the small smile forming on his face again before he glared playfully at Harry in the rearview mirror. Harry laughed, fishing out his own keys from his pocket before heading to his car. Niall and Liam were still staring from the front of the theater and Harry gave them a cheerful wave, whistling as he got into his car. He was unsure why he was in such a good mood all of the sudden, but they’d watched (or not watched) a comedy, so figured that must be it. Yeah, that was definitely it. Come tomorrow morning, he would be back to his normal, grumpy self, just the way he liked it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was much shorter than I anticipated. Sorry about that. :)


	3. Chapter 3

            Harry wasn’t quite as grumpy as he would prefer the next morning, but he wasn’t smiling or whistling anymore, so he took that as a step in the right direction. Still, he was in a positive enough mood to be a good friend, and instead of waiting for Niall to contact him, he called the other man, curious as to if he and Liam continued the night after he and Louis left.

            “You bet we did!” Niall exclaimed when asked. “Didn’t get home until two in the morning.”

            “So it went well then?”

            “It was perfect,” he sighed dreamily. Harry laughed.

            “I’m glad.”

            “Me too. So what were you and Louis talking about last night?”

            “Stuff.”

            “Oh god.”

            “I was nice, I swear.”

            “Good. It wasn’t so bad, was it?”

            “It could have been better,” Harry said, then added, “but it could have been worse.”

            “Thank you for not being a dick to Louis.”

            “Hey, I am a nice person,” Harry joked.

            “Yeah,” Niall agreed, no hint of humor in his own voice, “you are. You just need to remember that more often.”

            A beat of silence passed, because what was Harry supposed to say to that? Then, Niall spoke again, voice back to its normal chipper tone.

            “I’m stopping by the club for a little bit tonight to see Liam,” he said. “Do you want to come with?”

            “I don’t think so.”                                                                                             

            “Come on! If you play your cards right, you can still win Louis over. He’s _so_ into you when you’re not speaking.”

            “I don’t think so,” Harry said again, then, “I don’t want to win him over.”

            “Fine. Whatever.”

            “Horan, you’re sounding like me right now,” Harry said, amused. Niall laughed.

            “That’s terrifying. Maybe I should keep my distance for a while.”

            “Rude.”

            “No, but I do have to go though. I’m meeting Liam for lunch before I go into work.”

            “So you stayed with him until nearly two in the morning, are meeting him for lunch today and then going to his work tonight to see him?”

            “I told you, Harry, I’m in love.”

            “Maybe you are,” Harry allowed. After that, they hung up and Harry started getting ready for a day of peaceful solitude, which he hadn’t had enough of recently, when his phone rang. It was Zayn, and he almost let it go to voicemail, but figured he owed him since he hadn’t even checked that he was alive after the bachelor party.

            “Hey. Recover yet?” he said as a means of greeting.

            “I recovered,” Zayn said, “and then I drank again. Like, a lot. Help me, Harry.”

            “You’re drunk and hungover at the same time,” Harry noted with a small laugh. “You really are going hard, aren’t you?”

            “No time to talk, Harry,” Zayn groaned.

            “Then why did you call me?”

            “I need you.”

            “I don’t think that is a true statement.”

            “Keep me company.”

            “Where is your fiancée?”

            “Work.”

            “Where is…everyone else?”

            “Don’t be a dick. You’re my best friend. Don’t abandon me in my time of need.”

            “Fine, Zayn. I’ll be there in a few minutes, but I’m not staying long. I have things to do today.”

            “Liar.”

            It was a lie. Harry never really had much to do, but he wasn’t going to admit that.

            “It wasn’t a lie. I’ll see you soon.”

            Wondering, not for the first time, why he chose the friends he did, Harry slipped on his shoes and left his house.

            He’d moved across town a couple of years ago, after the inheritance, and hated visiting the other end, where he’d grown up, though he couldn’t exactly explain why. He’d had a decent life. There weren’t any trauma stories or anything. Nonetheless, it _did_ make him uncomfortable, and now Zayn owed him.

            Upon reaching his friend’s house, Zayn informed him that he’d forgotten to ask to bring him some Tylenol and ‘ _please,_ Harry, I’m _dying_ ,’ which meant that Harry was forced to promptly leave again and go to the nearest drugstore. He wasn’t a fan of slummy drugstores. Zayn _really_ owed him.

            “Hello! Good afternoon!” the store employee greeted, and Harry immediately froze in place. He knew that voice; not well, but still. It was a very distinct voice. Or maybe he was just crazy.

            When he turned around, though, he saw that he had been correct in placing the voice, and Louis was staring back at him, looking just as shocked as Harry felt.

            “Hey,” Harry broke the silence first.

            “Hi,” Louis said.

            “You work here too?”

            “Yeah. I do. Um…what are you doing here? I mean, do you need help finding anything?”

            “I just need Tylenol. For Zayn.”

            Louis nodded. “Aisle three. Do you…um…do you need me to show you?”

            “I’m sure I can find it, thank you,” Harry replied, holding back his remark that he was perfectly capable of reading the numbers above the aisles. Louis was just doing his job. Well, his other job; the one that involved clothes. (And maybe he looked a bit adorable in the too-big blue store vest, but Harry wasn’t going to think about that.)

            He found the medication and went to check out.

            “Isn’t working two jobs exhausting?” he asked the other man as he rang up the product and gave him the total.

            “A bit,” Louis admitted, taking Harry’s money and giving him the change. Harry couldn’t think of an appropriate response, so he simply thanked Louis and began to walk out, but stopped halfway to the door and turned back around. Louis had already begun to do something else, but felt eyes on him and looked back up, quirking an eyebrow.

            “When is your break?” Harry asked before he could stop himself, like he knew he should.

            “About twenty minutes,” Louis answered, giving Harry a suspicious look. Harry didn’t know what that was all about, but whatever.

            “Would you like to go to lunch?” he asked. The strange look Louis was giving him intensified, but he answered anyway.

            “I only get thirty minutes, so I don’t really have time to go anywhere except some fast food grease hut, and I kind of need to keep my stripper body.”

            “Oh,” Harry said. “Okay.”

            He turned and began walking again, and had one foot out the door when he heard Louis’s voice.

            “Harry?”

            “Yes?” Harry asked, stepping inside a bit.

            “I have an extra sandwich in the back if you would like to join me.”

            Harry smiled, but only a little.

            “I have to take this to Zayn,” he said, brandishing his bag, “but I’ll be back.”

            Louis nodded, turning back to his work promptly, and Harry smiled just a tad wider before heading out once again.

            Zayn nearly threw a fit once Harry returned only to tell him he was leaving again. That was, until he found out why he was leaving. Then, he actually smirked. Harry wanted to smack him, but rolled his eyes and left instead.

            When he returned to the store, some guy with the same blue vest had joined Louis at the register, and was a bit close for what was appropriate for work, Harry thought, with his front awfully close to Louis’s backside and a hand resting on his waist. Harry would have thought they had some workplace romance going on except that Louis looked quite uncomfortable, and stepped away when he saw Harry enter.

            “Hi,” he said before turning to the other man. “I’m taking my break now, okay?”

            “Alright,” the man said, eyeing Harry with a look of disapproval. “Louis, who is this?”

            “Harry,” Louis answered simply. “Come on, Curly, follow me.”

            “That’s the second time you’ve called me Curly,” Harry noted as Louis led him to the back of the store.

            “I think it fits you well,” Louis said.

            “Fair enough.”

            Soon, they had reached the break room, and Louis held the door open for Harry, allowing him to enter first.

            “So you don’t bring Lily to this job with you?” Harry asked once inside.

            “No. I have a sitter during the day. It’s just hard to find someone to watch her until three or four in the morning four nights a week. I know it’s totally fucked to take her to a strip club, but…Liam takes good care of her. I’ll leave her with Kelsey when she’s a little older, but right now Kelsey is only eleven. I don’t like her watching herself, let alone a baby.”

            “Kelsey is your other sister then?”

            “Yeah.”

            “It’s just the two of them?”

            “Yep.”

            Louis took a sandwich out of the mini fridge and set it in front of Harry, who politely thanked him.

            “I can watch them,” he said as Louis sat across from him, bottle of water in his hands. “Aren’t you eating?” he added.

            “I’m not really hungry,” Louis said.

            “You _do_ actually have more food, right?”

            “Yes, Harry,” Louis said with a smile.

            “Okay. But, yeah, I mean, I can watch your sisters if you’d like. I’m up late anyways and I’m almost always free, even in the day, so if anything happens with your other sitter, I could, like, be back-up or something.”

            “You don’t work then?”

            “I don’t really have to right now,” Harry said with a mildly awkward shrug. “I’ll probably go back to school eventually, but I haven’t quite decided what I want to do.”

            Louis nodded, seeming to contemplate that deeply for a moment before taking a sip of his water. Harry cleared his throat.

            “So, uh, yeah, if you ever need a sitter, just, like…give me a call. I’ll give you my number.”

            “I can’t ask you to do that, Harry.”

            “I’m offering.”

            “Thank you, really, but I’ll manage. I’ll figure something out…”

            “Alright,” Harry said, once again completely not bothered that his attempts of being kind were being shot down. “Here’s my number anyway, just in case you change your mind. I mean, do you have your phone?”

            For a few long seconds, Harry was afraid Louis was going to reject him, and he didn’t know why he cared, but before he had time to contemplate that, Louis dug his phone from his pocket and slid it to Harry, who entered his number and saved it.

            Soon, Louis had to go back to work and Harry swung by Zayn’s to see if he still wanted his company, but Zayn had begun to yell at him for waking him, so Harry turned on his heel and drove home. What a waste of time that afternoon had been.

            (Or maybe not…)

            When he got home, Harry sent Niall a text asking if he still wouldn’t mind if he tagged along that night. Niall was at work, so it took a while for him to reply, but when he did, it was a simple smug faced emoji. Harry told him to fuck off.

            They drove separately, as Harry had a feeling Niall would be sticking around quite a bit longer than he personally wanted to, but he was in a better mood than the first time they had gone to the strip club, so thought that _maybe_ he could keep an open mind.

            Upon entering, he immediately saw Niall’s blonde head at the bar and made his way over. Well, he started to, at least, until he noticed the way Liam was looking at Niall, and had a feeling that he may be interrupting some intense eye sex. Harry felt quite bad for himself, having to witness that, and even worse that neither of them even noticed him for almost a minute. Then, Liam glanced up, cheeks turning pink as he waved Harry over. Niall turned to see who Liam had gestured to and smiled, unashamed, when he saw Harry.

            “Hey, mate!” he called loudly, brightly.

            “Hello,” Harry greeted, sitting down next to his friend. “Hi, Liam.”

            “Hey.”

            Harry glanced to the stage. It wasn’t Louis’s turn, apparently, so he looked away again, opening his mouth to ask how the others’ nights were going when a cry from down below stopped him.

            “Oh, someone’s hungry!” Liam said, leaning down to take Lily from her car seat and bouncing her lightly as he stuck a bottle in the microwave. It was then that some very intoxicated man stumbled over, leaning against the bar quite close to Niall, who gave the man a look reproachful enough for Harry’s admiration.

            “Hey, server!” the man called, and Liam turned, giving the man a small smile.

            “Hello. Can I get you something else?”

            “More of the same. Now. Thanks.”

            Niall looked like he wanted to punch the man then, and Harry would be lying if he said it wasn’t a bit amusing. Still, he didn’t particularly want a fight to break out so he turned to Liam, who looked quite distressed as he attempted to mix a drink with one hand while holding a still crying baby in his other arm.

            “I’ll take Lily,” Harry offered. Liam shot him an unsure look, but the drunk stranger had something to say about that.

            “Yeah, give him the damn baby and get on the drinks. Chop, chop.”

            “Why don’t you have some patience there, mate?” Niall spoke in a tone that revealed he did not think of the other man as a ‘mate’ at all.

            “It’s alright,” Liam said, taking Lily’s bottle from the microwave before quickly and delicately handing her over to Harry. It was a bit awkward at first but Harry finally got Lily situated in his arms and began feeding her, the baby’s wide blue eyes staring up into his face as she went to work on her bottle. Harry smiled, while from beside him, he heard Niall say,

            “You gonna tip, buddy?”

            “He hasn’t all night,” Liam said, leaning forwards against the back of the bar so he was positioned a bit closer to Niall as the drunk man walked away with his drink. “Don’t know why he’d start now.”

            “Cunt,” Niall said.

            “There is a baby in the midst,” Harry scolded.

            “I think that would be a great first word,” Niall said. “Lily, can you say-”

            “No!” Liam interrupted, pressing a finger to Niall’s lip, hushing him. The touch seemed to ignite something, and they smiled at each other, eyes roaming across the other’s face in approval.

            “Yeesh,” Harry sighed. “Lily is trying to eat here.”

            While Harry was busy burping the baby, Louis was introduced to the stage. Harry decided he would watch this time, and he did, for some of it. Louis really could work his body. It was mesmerizing, and he looked so alive, so Harry kept watching until someone tipped and Louis sauntered over to him, letting the guy put the money in his shorts, awfully close to where Harry didn’t think he should be allowed to touch, strip club or not. Louis didn’t flinch, though, and the tip must have been good because he took the guy’s hand and gave it a small kiss before laying it on his chest, letting the stranger run his stupid germy fingers all the way down to Louis’s tight stomach, curved hips and then that ass that everyone seemed to love. (Upon looking, Harry had to admit that it was above average.) (Way above.)

            He couldn’t watch anymore then, for reasons he didn’t care to ponder.

            Louis sneaked over after his routine, leaning on the bar next to Niall in the same spot as the drunk man had been, and when Harry looked over, Louis was staring at him, surprise written on his face.

            “Hi,” Harry said.

            “Hi,” Louis replied, eyes darting to Lily before looking at Harry again.

            “She was hungry,” Harry said.

            “Oh. Thank you for feeding her then.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Louis pushed himself away from the bar, making his way to Harry and his sister, but, though he tried to be subtle about it, he had a slight limp that hadn’t been present earlier. Harry frowned.

            “What happened?”

            “I just hurt my ankle a bit. It’s fine, though. I’m fine. Can I have some ice please, Liam?”

            He had reached Harry then, one hand on the back of his chair as he stood on his non-hurt food, hinting that perhaps the other hurt more than he was letting on. Harry was going to tell Louis to sit, but saw that all of the chairs were taken, so he stood, handing Lily over to Niall as Louis watched intently.

            “Sit,” Harry told Louis.

            “Oh, I’m fine, Harry. You can keep your chair.”

            Knowing he was taking a chance, Harry moved swiftly, lifting Louis and setting him down as he shrieked in both fear and protest.

            “Much better,” Harry said with a smile as he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. Louis rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t completely hide his smile either.

            “How did you hurt your ankle?” Liam asked as he handed Louis some ice wrapped in a paper towel.

            “I’m clumsy, is all,” Louis replied, attempting to hold his ankle up and ice it while also not letting anything slip out of  his short shorts.

            “Tell me, Louis,” Liam said. Louis sighed.

            “Some drunk guy grabbed my ankle when I stood to go to someone else and I twisted it funny. He didn’t mean to hurt me. It’s fine.”

            “Who was it?”

            “It doesn’t matter.”

            “ _Tell me_.”

            “It was my boss at my other job, Liam. Please just leave it alone.”

            Liam took his turn to sigh then, but made his way down to the other side of the bar to see if anyone needed his assistance.

            “Can I see your ankle?” Harry asked.

            “I mean, if you really want to, but it’s just an ankle,” Louis said, removing the ice.

            “It’s just a little swollen,” Harry observed.

            “I told you I only twisted it a bit,” Louis said, replacing the ice. “It will be fine by the time I go back up.”

            “You’re not going back up tonight,” Liam, who had just returned, said as he began mixing a drink.

            “Yes I am,” Louis argued.

            “No. We’ll get someone who only had two dances to cover your third.”

            “I have to go up.”

            “You really should keep weight off that as much as possible for a day or two,” Harry spoke.

            “Are you a doctor now?” Louis asked sarcastically. Harry smiled.

            “No, but maybe that’s what I should go to uni for.”

            “Please don’t,” Louis said. “You would have terrible bedside manner.”

            Harry laughed, thinking it said something about the growth of their ~~relationship friendship~~ acquaintanceship that he didn’t get angry.

            “Well, if I can’t go back on, then I’m going home,” Louis said, setting the ice on the counter and using Harry’s shoulder to help him hop down. He stumbled a bit, but Harry steadied him, keeping his own hand on the one Louis had still laying on him.

            “How are you doing that?” Liam inquired.

            “I’ll take your car and then come back later to pick you up.”

            “You’ve been drinking, Lou.”

            “Not much.”

            “But enough.”

            “I can take you home,” Harry offered. Louis looked at him, much like he had when Harry asked him to go to lunch. “What? I really don’t mind.”

            Louis contemplated that for a moment.

            “Fine.”

            “Okay. Niall, help us carry Lily out, will you?” Harry asked as he turned while still holding onto Louis, positioning himself.

            “What are you doing?” Louis asked.

            “Piggy back ride.”

            “Harry, I am _not_ that injured.”

            “Humor me.”

            So Louis did.

            “You know, if this was your way of copping a feel, all you had to do was tip me.”

            “Oh, shut it.”

            Harry helped Louis into the car and Niall handed over the baby while he and Harry tried to figure out how to set up the car seat, which quite entertained Louis, if his laughter said anything. Finally, they got it, as Niall announced he was never having kids.

            “You’re not allowed to date my best friend then,” Louis said. “He wants kids; three, to be exact.”

            “I love kids,” Niall said. “Three is such a perfect number. I’ve always wanted three kids, haven’t I, Harry?”

          Harry rolled his eyes, going around to climb in the driver’s seat as they gave Niall a quick wave.

          The car ride was silent except for Louis giving Harry directions to his place, reaching into one of the bags Liam had told Niall to take out and pulling out some sweats and a T-shirt to slip on over the minimal amount of clothing he was already wearing, when they got close.

        Upon arriving, Harry had to admit he was impressed. It was a small house, but it was nice, at least from outside, and the neighborhood seemed quite lovely as well. Louis and his sisters would be safe there, he felt. Not that it was his business.

            Shutting the car off, Harry got out to help carry Lily inside. As he unfastened the baby, he heard a door open and close from the near distance. When he looked up, he saw another young girl running towards them, clad in her pajamas. His best guess was that this was Kelsey.

            “Louis!” she called, throwing her arms around her brother’s middle as he hugged her back. “You’re home early,” she noted. “Are you okay?”

            “I’m fine, Kels,” Louis said at the same time that Kelsey saw Harry and froze, staring at him, arms still around the other guy. Louis was oblivious. “I hurt my ankle, but it’s nothing even remotely serious.”

            The girl didn’t answer, still staring at Harry, who offered a smile.

            “Hello!” he said. “I’m Harry.”

            “I’m Kelsey,” she said, letting go of Louis as she seemed to come out of her trance. “I’ll put Lily to bed.”

            Harry handed over the baby and helped Louis in, despite the fact that, “I’m _fine_ , Harry.”

            Louis limped over to the couch when they got inside, beginning to examine his ankle closer than he could before.

            “Do you have something to wrap that with?” Harry asked.

            “Yeah, but I can do it. You don’t have to stay.”      

            “I’ll do it,” Harry said, taking it upon himself to go find the bathroom. Louis must not have cared too much because he didn’t yell or throw anything at him.

            Harry found the wraps quickly and went back out, rolling up Louis’s pant leg so it wouldn’t get in the way.

            “You know, I don’t need you to feel sorry for me,” Louis said softly as Harry began to wrap.

            “I don’t,” Harry told him.

            “You’re a totally different person than the guy I first met,” Louis said. “I know Liam told you something.”

“Not really. I know you have custody of your younger siblings, but that’s it. I don’t know why, and I don’t need to. I just think it’s pretty awesome that you can and are willing to do that at such a young age.”

            Louis didn’t say anything, but Harry didn’t expect him to.

            “Is that too tight?” he asked as he finished up bandaging the other’s ankle.

            “No, it’s fine. Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome,” Harry said as he stood. “I hope it feels better tomorrow.”

            “Thank you for driving me home also.”

            “You’re welcome. I’ll see you again maybe.”

            “Yeah,” Louis said. “Maybe.”

            Harry didn’t know why, and he was kind of mad at himself for it, but he hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I posted this a few hours ago and randomly thought about adding this note, so not everyone will see it but it makes me feel better.
> 
> I know putting baby bottles in the microwave is not the best way to heat them. However, there are limited options while you're trying to bar tend a strip club at the same time. I can assure you Liam only heated it briefly and tested it thoroughly to make sure that Lily would not get burned ;)
> 
> I don't know why that started bothering me all of the sudden, because in my mind it made sense, but I just wanted to leave this here. Thank you :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just realized that this fic is similarly titled to another fic I have written. Please do not ask how I just realized this. I am clearly not right in the head. So if I change the title of this....that is why. I will decide by the next chapter and let you all know in the notes if it's going to be changed so there will hopefully be no confusion. I am very, very sorry. My dumb moments really hit hard sometimes. Heh...
> 
> But now on to the story!

            Two very long weeks later, it was finally the day of Zayn’s wedding. It was only long because 1) despite his words that he might see him again, Harry had not, in fact, seen Louis and 2) he knew the other man may be at the wedding. Zayn had told Niall he could invite Liam as his guest and then, since Niall was supposed to be Harry’s company, the groom had Niall also invite Louis, who couldn’t give a yes or no at the time.

            Something told Harry that Louis wasn’t going to be there and so he shouldn’t get his hopes up. Really, he shouldn’t get his hopes up anyway because Louis was virtually no one to him. Sure, Harry had enjoyed the brief talks they’d had on a few separate occasions, but he also enjoyed talking to his other friends, sometimes, and Louis wasn’t even his friend, so he was being stupid. Maybe he did just feel sorry for the guy. Harry wasn’t the most in tune person when it came to his emotions, so it was probably sympathy and nothing else that made him feel like pulling his hair out when night after night passed and Louis still hadn’t called.

            He didn’t know why sympathy would make him spend almost ten extra minutes on his hair, but whatever. He was going to a wedding. He had to look nice.

            Despite all of that, when he got to the wedding and didn’t see Louis, he was a bit disappointed. That feeling only grew as the ceremony passed, and then the reception came, with still no sign of Louis. Though Niall had brought Liam, he still stayed close by Harry, the three of them discussing nothing in particular, except for the times when Niall took his boyfriend to dance. Harry didn’t mind, of course. The two of them were so happy and were adorable together, going between looking at the other like they were the key to the universe and giggling like school children. And Harry wasn’t going to ask them where Louis was. He absolutely was not.

            “So Louis decided not to come?”

            Harry wanted to hit himself.

            “He couldn’t find a babysitter,” Liam said.

            “He probably used that as an excuse,” Zayn, who had swung by just as Harry was asking the forbidden question, spoke. “I wouldn’t come to the wedding of the guy who drunkenly played with my ass either.”

            “It has nothing to do with that,” Liam assured the groom with an amused smile. “You had permission anyway.”

            Harry cleared his throat awkwardly because that night was certainly not one he wanted to relive. His friends gave him awfully curious smiles.

            “I’ll tell him you said hi though,” Liam said to Harry.

            “Oh, yeah, okay. If you want to,” Harry said, waving his hand nonchalantly. “I’m going to get a drink. Would anyone like one?”

            The group assured him that they were fine, and so Harry went off to get his own drink. Someone approached the table soon after him, getting quite close to Harry’s personal bubble, but when Harry glanced up, the stranger simply gave him a wide smile. Harry didn’t know him, but he looked like money, so he was probably from Perrie’s side.

            “Nice wedding, isn’t it?” the guy asked, taking a sip from his glass.

            “Yeah,” Harry answered simply. Objectively, he knew he should be into this guy. He was really attractive and totally Harry’s type, with his sandy blonde hair, wide hazel eyes, tall, muscular body and nice suit. But Harry wasn’t all that into him, so he downed his drink quickly, ready to dart away. Apparently, it wasn’t going to be that easy.

            “Wow,” the man said, eyeing Harry’s glass in slight awe. “You’re not a wedding guy, are you?”

            Harry shrugged.

            “So who are you here with?” the man asked.

            “I’m just…here for Zayn,” Harry answered.

            “I see. I’m sorry, I’ve been so rude. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Erick.”

            The man offered a hand and, holding in a sigh-Harry knew where this was going-he accepted the gesture.

            “Harry,” he replied.

            “Nice to meet you, Harry, and now that we know each other…would you like to dance?”

            Harry almost declined. He was so close, but he knew he had no good reason to. He was young, attractive and single, and this guy, Erick, was young, attractive and presumably also single, so saying no would be nothing short of idiotic. So Harry said yes.

            Throughout the dance, Harry tried really hard to enjoy himself and make himself feel _something_ for Erick, who was smiling at him like he had given him a great gift just by accepting his dance. It was uncomfortable, as Harry just wanted the song to be over, so when it did finally end, he smiled, thanked Erick and hurried out of sight. Checking his watch, he saw that it was after six and decided he’d stayed plenty long enough to not be considered rude if he left, which was precisely what he did, after sneaking out a couple pieces of cake.

            “What are you doing, Styles?” he asked himself out loud as he climbed into his car, carefully balancing the plate in a safe position on the seat next to him. Losing his mind was probably the answer to that question, but he headed to Louis’s house anyway.

            When the front door was opened and Louis saw who his guest was, he gave Harry yet another strange look, but Harry was getting quite used to that, so he simply smiled and held the plate out.

            “Cake,” he explained. “From the wedding. Or will that ruin your stri-…your body?”

            “I love cake,” was all Louis replied to that, one hand still on the door as he seemingly contemplated letting Harry in. Finally, he stepped back, holding a hand out as to invite the other’s entrance.

            “Thank you,” Harry said, another smile on his face as he stepped in. Louis closed the door behind him as Kelsey skipped out from the back of the house to see who their visitor was. Harry expected to receive another odd look, but instead, she just smiled.

            “Hi again, Harry!”

            “Hi, Kelsey. How are you?”

            “I’m fine.”

            “Harry brought us cake, Kels,” Louis said, handing the plate to his sister, who looked at it like it was some wonderful, foreign delicacy.

            “I love cake,” she announced, heading off with the dessert. Harry laughed.

            “You two are a lot alike, from what I’ve seen,” he told Louis.

            “How dare you. Don’t insult my sister like that,” Louis teased, gesturing for Harry to follow as he went in the same direction as his sister. Kelsey was sitting at the kitchen table already, digging into her piece of cake.

            “Slow down, Kels, jeez,” Louis said. “Harry is going to think I starve you.”

            “Louis doesn’t starve me,” Kelsey assured the visitor.

            “I had a feeling he didn’t.”

            “I got you a fork Louis, and you too, Harry, for if you want to share,” the girl told the two.

            “That was all for you guys,” Harry told her. Louis sat down next to his sister and nodded at the third chair, inviting Harry to join them as he took a bite of his piece.

            “So, Harry,” Kelsey spoke again.

            “Yes?” Harry asked when she didn’t continue, his eyebrow raised in amusement.

           “Louis says you met him at the dance studio.”

            _Dance studio_ , Harry repeated mentally. Huh. Interesting. Of course, if he was a stripper, he would probably try to hide that fact from his eleven-year-old sister too.

            “I did,” he said, and from the corner of his eye, saw Louis visibly relax. He was a bit offended that the guy thought he would sell him out to his sister, honestly.

            “So you’re a dancer then?”

            “No, actually, but my friend’s…erm…special friend works there, so we dropped by to say hi one day and I saw your brother.”

            “Really? Who is your friend’s ‘special friend?’’

            “Liam.”

            “Is your friend Niall?”

            “He is.”

            “Niall and Liam are boyfriends, Harry. You can say it. I know what gay is. Louis is very gay.”

            Louis snorted, and subsequently choked on a piece of cake, so jumped up to get some water. In the meantime, Kelsey carried on with her interrogation.

            “So where do you work?”

            “I don’t work right now,” Harry admitted. “I’m going back to school, probably, when I know what I want to do.”

            “Do you live with your parents?”

            “Kelsey,” Louis scolded.

            “It’s fine,” Harry assured him with a smile. “I have my own place.”

            “And you don’t have a job?!”

            Louis groaned, but Harry laughed.

            “Yeah, I should probably get on that, shouldn’t I?”

            Kelsey didn’t respond to that.

            “What are your hobbies?”

            “My hobbies?”

            Wow. That was a good question.

            “I read,” he answered.

            “Good answer,” Kelsey said. “That means you’re smart.”

            “Um, thanks.”

            “Do you like dogs?”

            “Yes, I do. I had a dog not too long ago, but he, um, well…”

            “Died?” Kelsey suggested.

            “Yeah,” Harry said. He really had no idea how to talk to kids, he was realizing. Maybe it was a good thing Louis never took him up on the babysitting offer.

            “Our dog died too,” she said.

            “I’m sorry to hear that.”

            “It’s okay. I have another question for you.”

            “Okay.”

            “Are you single?”

            Louis laughed that time, coming back over to sit down.

            “Don’t you think he’s a little old for you, Kels?”

            “I wasn’t asking for me,” the girl said. Louis’s face turned stoic then, cheeks going pink, and it was Harry’s turn to laugh again.

            “Yes. Yes I am.”

            Kelsey simply smiled then and stood from her chair.

            “Are you going to finish that?” she asked Louis, staring longingly at his half eaten piece of cake.

            “Go for it, kid.”

            Taking the plate, she excused herself to the living room, and then it was just Harry and Louis.

            “Well,” Harry said after a few moments of silence.

            “Yeah…,” Louis agreed, though to what, neither was sure.

            “I’ll leave you alone now,” Harry continued. “I just wanted to drop the cake off.”

            “Oh, yeah. Thanks for that, by the way.”

            “Do you work tonight?” Harry asked, rising from his seat. Louis quickly followed suit, walking with Harry to the front door.

            “No,” he answered the question. “I’m off.”

            “Good,” Harry said. “I mean, enjoy your night off.”

            For a moment, it looked as if Louis’s shoulders slumped, but it must have just been the way he was leaning against the doorway after opening the door for Harry. The smile on his face faltered too, but Harry concluded he’d probably just hit a bone funny or something.

            “Yeah,” Louis said. “Thanks.”

            “You’re welcome. Um…well…bye.”

            “Bye, Harry.”

            There was no ‘see you’ this time because Harry knew it probably wouldn’t be true. There was no reason to see each other again, really, and it wasn’t like Harry visited that side of town very often. That could be the very last time he saw Louis, which was totally okay. They had nothing in common. They led very different lives. It was best to just leave well enough alone.

***

            On Monday morning, Harry was woken by a call from Niall, which was unusual since he was only up early if he worked the morning shift at his mall job, which Harry knew he didn’t that day. As always, he almost let it go to voicemail, but, also as always, ended up answering.

            “‘Lo?” he asked, trying to make it very evident in his voice that he’d been pulled from a very peaceful slumber. Niall seemed to have other worries, though.

            “Harry!” he cried, distress evident in his voice, and Harry decided to let the dramatics go for now.

            “What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting up and suddenly very alert.

            “It’s over,” Niall said.

            “What’s over?”

            “Liam and me. We’re over.”

            “What? Why?! What happened?!”                         

            “So I took him to my favorite restaurant last night, right? Like, my favorite _actual_ restaurant, not some fried heart disease shit.”

            “…That sounds nice though, Niall.”

“It was _great._ It was _wonderful_ , until he woke up with food poisoning.”

            “That is very unfortunate,” Harry admitted, cringing a tad in sympathy, “but he really broke up with you for that? I mean, it’s not like you intentionally took him there knowing he was going to order whatever with a side of E. Coli.”

            “No, I know, and he hasn’t broken up with me yet.”

            “Then what makes you think he is?”

            “I can feel it.”

            “Yeah? Well, _I_ feel like you’re jumping to conclusions. I’m sure everything will be fine.”

            Niall sighed, and Harry heard him attempt to move the phone away from his hearing range as he asked someone if they were okay. Harry’s eyes suddenly grew wide as a smile split across his face.

            “Niall!” he called. “Is he there?!”

            “Eh…,” was Niall’s reply.

            “Did you finally ask him to stay the night?!”

            Niall had been struggling with getting the courage to ask Liam that since the second date because ‘oh my god, I want to fuck him so bad, but I don’t want him to think I only like him because he’s hot and, no, I can’t yet, it’s too soon.’

            “He…um…he asked me, actually,” Niall said, voice low.

            “Congratulations, mate.”

            “Yeah, but that one night of bliss is all I’m going to get now!”

            “It’s not. If he waited this long, I think he really likes you, as a person and a boyfriend. He won’t leave you over something that isn’t even your fault.”

            “I hope not,” Niall sighed.

            “He won’t. Make sure he stays hydrated, and everything will be fine.”

            “You really think so?”

            “I do.”

            “Okay. Thanks.”

            “Uh-huh. Now go take care of your man.”

            Finally, the stress started to leave Niall’s voice, and he let out a small laugh.

            “‘My man.’ I like how that sounds.”

***

            Later that afternoon, Harry got a text from Niall saying that Liam was starting to feel a little better and ‘we’re having a superhero movie marathon now, he’s so cute, I love him <3 <3 <3.’ Harry decided it must be true love if he could still be so infatuated with someone he’d seen puke all day.

            Not too much longer after he’d simply laughed at that text and put his phone away, it started to ring, and Harry swore that if it was Niall calling to tell him Liam’s favorite superhero, or how cute his laugh was or something, he was going to change his number.

            It wasn’t Niall calling, though. Harry had no idea who it was since the person wasn’t in his contacts and, frowning, he answered, hoping for the other person’s sake that it wasn’t a prank call.

            “Harry, hey. It’s Louis,” the person on the other line said after Harry answered, and he smiled, leaning back in his chair.

            “Hello, Louis.”

            “Hi. So, Liam is sick, which means he can’t come to work tonight, and, um, well…I don’t really trust the other bartender with Lily. No one else is available, so…um…I was just wondering if you could maybe come over and stay with the girls while I work tonight?”

            “Of course I can,” Harry replied, trying not to feel so smug at Liam’s misfortune and what it had led to for him.

            “Um, okay. Great. Thanks. I’m leaving at seven, so…”

            “I’ll be there.”

***

            Harry arrived precisely twenty minutes early that night; not too early to seem weird, but early enough that hopefully Louis wouldn’t be stressed over him bailing.

            “Kelsey has already eaten dinner,” Louis explained after giving Harry a quick tour of the house and showing him where the important things were, like the fire extinguisher and first aid kit, which Harry had already found before, but he didn’t remind Louis of that. “She’ll just want a snack before she goes to bed, but she’s pretty independent, so I’m sure she’ll get it herself. Lily ate her bigger dinner already too, and will just want a bottle or two before I get home. They’re already premade and will just need heated before she eats. There’s a bottle warmer that Kelsey can help you with if you can’t figure it out. And make sure to test the temperature on your wrist because if you burn her, I will have to kill you.”

            “Got it. Everything will be fine, Louis, I promise.”

            “Do you know how to change a diaper?”

            “I’m sure there are YouTube tutorials.”

            Louis stared, not finding the joke funny, apparently.

            “It will be fine,” Harry said again.

            “Okay. Thanks again. If you need anything, call me. Do you still have my number?”

            “Yes.”

            Harry may have saved it right after they’d hung up earlier, for emergency purposes.

            It took Louis a few minutes to actually get himself out the door, and even then, Kelsey basically had to push him. She then led Harry to the living room, where he took Lily from the playpen and sat to watch a special on Kelsey’s favorite boyband with her. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous, but he eased the longer they went with no tragedies, and he held great pride in the fact that he got Lily to belly laugh a couple times. It was only after that, when he looked over at Kelsey, that he saw her staring blankly at the TV, unhappy expression on her face. It occurred to him then that she had been awfully quiet.

            “Kelsey? You feeling okay?” he asked.

            “I’m fine,” she answered, voice indicating otherwise.

            “What’s wrong?” Harry pressed.

            “Nothing.”

            “Come on. Tell me. Please?”

            She paused a moment before giving in.

            “I don’t like when Louis works without Liam.”

            “He’ll be okay.”

            “I know he’s not a regular dancer,” Kelsey continued. “Dance studios aren’t open that late. I used to take ballet.”

            “Your brother is alright,” Harry said, not knowing how else to reply. Kelsey didn’t respond at all.

            “So who’s your favorite member?” Harry changed the subject, nodding to the television.

            “I like the redhead.”

            “He’s cute. I think the one with the fedora is pretty hot. What’s his name?”

            Kelsey started to relax then as she told Harry who was who and gave the entire band’s biographies. Harry didn’t mind.

            Lily fell asleep at about nine o’ clock and Harry laid her in her crib, grabbing the baby monitor and turning it on before going back out to Kelsey, who had been placed in charge of finding a board game for them to play.

            “Do you like my brother?” the girl asked after they had both had a few turns each.

            “Well, yeah,” Harry said, rolling the dice and moving his Monopoly piece the designated number of spaces.

            “But do you _like_ like him?”

            Harry just laughed at that.

            “It’s your turn.”

            Kelsey rolled the dice, but she wasn’t giving up that easily.

            “I think Louis like likes you.”

            “Oh yeah?”

            “Yeah.”

            “And why do you think that?”

            “Because he almost called you, like, one million times before today, for not babysitting reasons, but he always hung up before the phone could start ringing.”

            “If he likes me, why did he hang up?”

            “Because he said you were out of his league.”

            That made Harry a bit sad, he wasn’t going to lie to himself.

            “Why would he say that?”

            “Because you’re a rich ass hole.”

            “Excuse me?” Harry asked, unable to hide his surprise. He’d thought he and Kelsey were getting along pretty well up until that point.

            “Sorry,” she said, sheepish smile on her face. “That’s just what Lou said.”

            _Of course he did_ , Harry thought, outwardly laughing and shaking his head.

            “But that’s not the only reason,” Kelsey continued.

            “Oh, it isn’t?” Harry asked.

            “Nope. Also he looks at you like he used to look at Billy.”

            “Who’s Billy?”

            “Louis’s ex-fiancé.”

            “I didn’t know Louis was engaged.”

            “Yeah, he used to be, but then Billy left him because of me and Lily.”

            “I’m sure that’s not true,” Harry said.

            “It is,” Kelsey insisted, tears welling up in her eyes. “They thought I was sleeping that night, but Billy was being loud and making Louis cry, so I woke up and went to see what was wrong. They were in Louis’s room, so I hid, but I could still hear them. Billy said he was sorry but he wasn’t ready for a pre-made family. He said he thought he could make himself ready because he loved Louis, but he couldn’t, and they couldn’t get married. Then he asked for the promise ring back and I ran away because I didn’t want to hear anymore. The next morning Louis said that Billy had a family emergency and the wedding was off for the time being. I guess he just thought I would forget about him eventually, or hoped I would.”

            It took Harry a moment to gather his thoughts, stuck between being heartbroken for Louis and Kelsey and furious at the faceless Billy.

            “All of that is on Billy,” he finally spoke. “It has nothing to do with you or Lily. If Billy really loved your brother, he would love his family too, and do whatever he could to make it work.”

            “But he did love Louis,” Kelsey disagreed. Harry wondered just how much this unnecessary guilt was bothering her and if she’d ever mentioned it to Louis. Probably not. “And Louis loved him,” she continued. “And it’s not fair because our mum died, our dad disappeared and then he lost his fiancé too.”

            “Kelsey, it’s not your fault,” Harry said, getting a little choked up himself but fighting it off. “Your brother loves you and Lily so much, and he wouldn’t trade you for some guy any day, for any reason.”

            “I know,” the girl sighed, but then her phone started ringing, so she quickly grew quiet. “It’s Louis checking up,” she explained after checking the caller ID, hurrying from the room. Harry took that time to check on Lily. When he returned to the living room, Kelsey was back in her chair, somehow looking even more upset.

            “Is everything okay?” Harry asked, growing worried.

            “Louis sounds funny,” she said.

            “What do you mean?”

            “He sounds like he did when he used to come home late and he and dad would fight.”

            Drunk, Harry figured. Louis was probably just drunk, which shouldn’t come as a big surprise to him. He knew Louis drank on the job. The thing was, both times Harry had seen him, he couldn’t even tell Louis was intoxicated at all. He sounded normal. He walked normal. So either Harry was just way unobservant, or Louis was properly smashed.

            “Do you want me to go check up on him?” Harry asked the girl after hesitating, not really sure what the correct thing to do was.

            “Will you, please?”

            “Okay. Do you know how to feed Lily if she wakes up hungry?”

            “Yes.”

            “And change her diaper?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay, good. I’ll be quick. Call me right away if you need anything. Let me give you my number.”

            Obediently, Kelsey entered the number into her phone.

            “Lock the door behind me, please,” Harry instructed as he walked out. He stayed outside for a moment, listening to make sure she did. Upon hearing the click of a lock, he got into his car and sped away.

            When he reached the club, Louis wasn’t anywhere in sight. That would just be too easy. No matter, though.

            “Where’s Louis?” Harry asked the bartender before he could even politely greet Harry. He received a reproachful look in return, but he didn’t care.

            “Backstage, probably,” the guy answered anyway. Without another word, Harry headed off to find the area, ignoring the bartender’s shouted protests. Luckily, he found the room quickly and entered without as much as a knock. Several strippers’ eyes darted to him, some looking a bit afraid and others looking…well… _hungry_.

            “Where’s Louis?” he asked upon seeing that the bartender had been wrong on his whereabouts.

            “He’s not available right now,” one of the men said, leaning seductively against a wall as he reached up to mess with his hair, casually flexing his bicep while doing so. “Can I help you with something, darling?”

            “I just need to know where Louis is.”

            “He’s not willing to do that stuff, no matter how much you offer. Come on, babe. Let me help you.”

            “No, I’m not…” Harry paused, taking a deep breath to remain calm. “Can you please you just tell me Louis is?”

            The stripper looked annoyed then, dropping his pose to cross his arms.

            “He’s out back,” he answered, nodding to a back door. “You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”

            “Of course not! And thank you.”

            Harry made his way past several staring men to go outside. He could see Louis in the near distance, sitting on the ground, knees drawn up to his chin and head down, and he quickly made his way over.

            “Lou, what’s wrong?” Harry asked once by his side, dropping gently to his knees. Louis looked up, eyes nearly spinning and cheeks wet from tears that were still falling from his eyes.

            “Harry?” he asked, and yeah, he was definitely trashed.

            “Yeah. It’s me. What happened, Louis?”

            The man didn’t answer, just hiccupped and put his head down onto his knees again, still crying. Harry reached out to touch his shoulder, but withdrew his hand last second.

            “Hey, mate, you’re scaring me,” he spoke instead. “Please tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”

            “You can’t help me,” Louis mumbled.

            “I can try.”

            “How?! I got fired!” Louis cried then, lifting his had again and whacking himself in the face as he tried to wipe his eyes. Harry decided to wipe the tears for him, voice gentle as he spoke.

            “Why?”

            “Not from this job,” Louis explained. “From the other one.”

            “When did this happen?”

            “Just now.”

            “How?”

            Louis hiccuped again, a sad, pathetic noise coming from his throat before he did his best to explain.

            “Boss came here and wanted stuff, but I said no, I’m not a hooker, and he got mad and told me to not bother ever going to work again.”

            “Louis, that’s not even legal.”

            “Yeah, well, wha’ am I spos’d to do ‘bout it? Sue him?”

            “You could.”

            “Can’t,” Louis disagreed.

            “Why not?”

            “He’s manager of a store and has a degree. I’m a stripper. No one will side with me.”       

            “I’m on your side, Louis,” Harry said. “He had no right to fire you.”

            Louis just kept crying. Realizing he wasn’t helping, Harry stood, holding a hand out for the man to take.

            “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

            “No,” Louis said, sounding much like a stubborn toddler. “Need all the money I can get.”

            Standing on his own and ignoring Harry’s hand, Louis fell against the other man, who quickly wrapped an arm around his waist.

            “I don’t think you’re very functional right now. You’ll hurt yourself.”

            The tears poured harder, and Harry shifted to wrap both arms around Louis in a tight, hopefully comforting hug.

            “It will be okay,” he promised.

            “It won’t.”

            “It will. I’ll make sure of it.”

            Letting out a sob, Louis pulled away from Harry, stumbling back a little, but managing to steady himself. He fish mouthed for a minute, and Harry assumed he was just trying to form the correct words, but then Louis hunched over and promptly threw up all over Harry’s shoes.

            “Sorry! I’m so sorry!” Louis gasped once he recovered and stood straight again, hitting himself in the face yet again as he attempted to wipe his mouth. Harry was _not_ going to do that for him. He thought he deserved a prize for grand character development for simply telling Louis that it was alright and helping him to his car because, before, Harry would have been sure to make it known that it wasn’t alright in the slightest. (And he also suddenly had much less sympathy for how Niall’s day had gone.)

            Once Louis was settled in the car, Harry went around back again, throwing his shoes in the dumpster and then going back inside.

            “Louis is very sick,” he told the bartender. “Please tell your boss he had to go home.”

            The bartender nodded, and Harry was a bit surprised he didn’t argue, but thought that maybe he saw his shoeless feet and put the pieces together.

            Harry was half afraid Louis would be gone when he arrived back, but he was still there, passed out against the window. What even was this guy? How could he be both so happy and sad? So mature but so chaotic? And why wasn’t Harry repulsed because _he had thrown up on his feet and seriously, who did that?_

            Louis didn’t stir at all as Harry got inside the car and shut the door, and Harry moved a sweaty piece of the other’s hair back into place before starting the car.

            “It will be okay, Louis,” he promised again, patting the guy’s knee a couple of times before driving off. “You’re going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of random, but my friends have come to the conclusion that "Sexy Can I" is Louis's stripper song, so there's that visual for you, to erase the one of Louis vomiting on Harry ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the fic title, I have decided to keep this title, as I figure that if I'm going to change one of the names, it makes more sense to change the older one that's not really getting traffic anymore, doesn't it? Yes, I thought so :) Now onto the story. (Sorry this chapter is really long.)

            Louis had yet to wake by the time Harry reached the house, but Harry thought that might be a good thing. Getting him out of the car was a bit difficult, not because he was heavy, but anyone’s dead weight wasn’t the easiest to support. He got him out and into his arms, though, and put the man’s face against him so that Kelsey wouldn’t see just how knocked out he was.

            The girl had apparently heard Harry’s car and looked out the window, because she opened the door as he was walking up the drive, fear on her face.

            “What happened to Louis?” she asked, eyes unblinking as she stared at her brother’s limp body.

            “He’s fine, don’t worry,” Harry assured her. “He’s just sick and needs to rest, but he’ll be okay. I’m going to put him in bed. Why don’t you get your pajamas on and then we’ll eat a snack?”

            “Okay…”

            Kelsey went to her room and Harry made his way to Louis’s, laying him onto his side on the bed and putting a trashcan next to his head, just in case. After that, he went out to the kitchen, where Kelsey joined him only a minute later.

            “Has Lily eaten yet?” Harry asked.

            “Yeah. She woke up soon after you left, so I fed her and burped her.”

            “Good job. Thank you. Now, what would you like to eat?”

            Kelsey shrugged, staring at the ground.

            “Harry, where are your shoes?” she asked a moment later.

            “Oh, um, Louis has the flu,” he said. Kelsey couldn’t help but laugh then.

            “That’s gross,” she said.

            “You’re telling me!” Harry said with a smile. She laughed again, getting into the cupboard next to Harry to pull out a pack of cookies.

            “Do you want any?” she politely asked.

            “No thank you. So, I’ll probably be getting you to school in the morning. Do you ride the bus?”

            “No. Louis takes me.”

            “Okay. That’s no problem. I can take you tomorrow. What time do you have to be there?”

            “It starts at nine. Louis wakes me up at seven thirty.”

            “Seven thirty. Okay,” Harry said, not mentioning that, wow, Louis really must not get much sleep, with a day job, night job and rising early in the morning.

            “Are you sure Louis is going to be okay?” Kelsey asked as she finished her snack.

            “Positive. It’s just a small stomach bug. Nothing to worry about.”

            “Why did he sound so funny?”

            “Fever.”

            “Did you give him Tylenol?”

            “That’s a very good idea. I’ll do that. But it’s getting late. Why don’t you go on and get in bed? I’ll see you in the morning.”

            “Okay. Good night, Harry.”

            “Good night.”

            Harry put the glass of milk that Kelsey had left on the counter into the sink and then went back to Louis’s room to check on him. To Harry’s surprise, he was awake, still lying down, but staring blankly into space.

            “Hey. How are you feeling?” Harry asked, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Louis’s feet. Louis groaned and shifted, and for a moment, Harry was terrified he was going to be sick on him again, but then Louis laid back down, head in Harry’s lap.

            “What am I going to do?” he asked, sounding like he was going to cry again.

            “We’ll figure something out,” Harry said, playing gently with Louis’s hair. Louis closed his eyes, like it relaxed him, though the stress was still evident in his voice.

            “I’m going to end up on the streets and I’m going to lose my sisters.”

            “I won’t let that happen,” Harry said. “Niall works at a clothing store at the mall, and I’m sure they’d love to have someone like you walking around, selling their stuff. I can ask him if they’re hiring if you want.”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah.”

            That was when the tears actually started again, for some reason, and Louis crawled back over to his pillows, hugging one while burying his face in the other. Harry wasn’t going to think too much about it, as Louis was still very drunk, and he sat there until the man cried himself back to sleep. Then, Harry stood, pulling the covers over top of the other before turning off his alarm and exiting the room. After checking on Lily, he went to the couch, set the alarm on his own phone for seven thirty and fell into a light sleep.

***

            “What do you want for breakfast?” Harry asked Kelsey the next morning, yawning as they both made their way sleepily into the kitchen.

            “It’s Tuesday,” Kelsey noted. “Louis always makes pancakes on Tuesdays.”

            “Pancakes? I can do that. What kind of pancakes?”

            “I don’t know. It’s different every time.”

            “Have you ever had cinnamon pancakes?”

            “Cinnamon pancakes?”

            Kelsey repeated the words like they were the strangest thing she’d ever heard, and Harry smiled.

            “Yeah! They’re delicious.”

            “I haven’t had them,” the girl said. “I would like to try them, though.”

            “Alright, then let’s see here…”

            Harry took a minute or two to rummage through the cabinets, searching for the necessary ingredients.

            “Sadly, it looks like you don’t have any cinnamon,” Harry said. Kelsey couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face, but kept her voice cheerful as she said,

            “Oh, okay. Blueberry pancakes are fine then.”

            “Blueberry pancakes it is,” Harry said. “Then how about next Tuesday I come over and make cinnamon ones? That way, Louis will be feeling better and you can both try them.”

            “Okay,” Kelsey agreed, looking happy again.

            “It’s a plan then.”

***

            After breakfast was finished and Kelsey was showered and dressed, Harry left a note beside Louis, explaining that he was taking the girl to school, and put the baby monitor on the man’s nightstand. He was surprised that Louis was still asleep, honestly, and not up being violently ill yet, but he was glad. Louis looked quite content, face smooth and breaths light and even, one hand palm up and open, almost like he was waiting for something. It was maybe kind of endearing, but Harry walked out before he could decide either way.

            When Harry returned to Louis’s house (having left the door unlocked, knowing he wouldn’t be gone long) the man was awake, sitting on the couch and feeding the baby a bottle. He didn’t even glance up as Harry entered.

            “Hey,” Harry greeted. “You okay?”

            Louis didn’t answer, keeping his eyes focused on his baby sister, though his face was blank.

            “What’s wrong?” Harry asked, frowning as he took a couple of steps closer to the pair.

            “I would really love it if you left now, Harry,” Louis said softly, but coolly. Just like that, familiar anger rose up in Harry.

            “What the fu-…what?”

            Now Harry was watching his language around the baby. Great.

            “I’m sorry,” Louis said, and it did sound like he meant it. “It’s just kind of hard to face you right now. So thank you for helping, but you need to leave.”

           “But why? Why is it hard to face me? I don’t understand.”

           “Well, for one, you caught me having a total mental breakdown and also, I’m pretty sure I threw up on your shoes.”

            “Yeah, you did do that,” Harry said with a small laugh, “but it’s alright.”

            “No, Harry, it isn’t!” Louis exclaimed, finally looking up; his eyes showing just as much fear and sadness as they had last night. Harry just wanted it to go away. Louis continued.

            “How am I supposed to be a parent and raise two kids when I’m such a disaster?”

            “Everyone breaks sometimes, Louis,” Harry tried. “A person can only take so much. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job.”

            “You don’t know me, Harry.”

            “No, I don’t, but I do know that Kelsey loves you with all her heart and both of the kids are alive and well.”

            “Sometimes I think I should have let them go to foster care, for their sakes, but I…I couldn’t.”

            Louis paused briefly to sigh and run a hand through his hair before situating Lily to burp her.

            “I’m sorry. You didn’t ask to hear any of this.”

            “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Harry assured him.

            “I’m not usually like this.”

            “I know, and I do promise that everything will be okay. As soon as I get home, I’m going to call Niall about the job, okay?”

            “You don’t have to do that.”

            “I want to, as long as you want me to.”

            Louis contemplated for a moment before nodding once. “That would be great.”

***

            As promised, Harry called Niall as soon as he got back to his place, taking out his phone and finding his friend’s contact information before he had even gotten out of the car. Niall cursed out Louis’s now ex-boss and then told Harry that yes, the clothing store was, in fact, hiring, and that the manager would be in tomorrow if Louis would like to go in and fill out an application. Harry texted Louis the information and received a simple ‘thank you’ in response. He again assured the other that he was welcome.

            The next day, he learned that Louis had gotten an interview right on the spot, and then scored the job. He wasn’t really surprised at all.

            After Louis had sent him that news-and thanked him again-Harry stopped hearing from him. He told himself that was a good thing. No matter how much he denied it, deep down, he knew that he had been starting to like Louis a little too much. He’d meant what he said about Louis doing a great job and all, and Louis was a good person, but Harry shouldn’t want to get involved with him. There was just a little too much baggage involved.

            On the following Monday, Harry was lying in bed, talking to his mother and definitely not thinking about where he’d been at this time the previous week. During one of his mother’s long stories, Harry heard his phone beep and, pulling it away from his ear, saw that he had an incoming call.

            “I’ll call you back, mum,” he said quickly. “Louis is on the other line.”

            Harry flipped over before his mother had a chance to reply, running a hand through his hair as he sat up straight, as if Louis could actually see him.

            “Hello?”

            “Why am I just finding out that you’re coming over tomorrow morning?” Louis asked without even a hello. He didn’t sound mad, though. He actually sounded a little amused. Harry, however, was confused.

            “What?”

            “Kelsey says you’re coming over in the morning. Something about cinnamon pancakes?”

            “Oh,” Harry breathed, suddenly remembering and feeling bad that it had slipped his mind. “Oh, shit, yeah. I totally forgot about that.”

            “Well, you made a promise to my sister, so I expect to see you at precisely seven thirty, Curly. No earlier, no later. Well, maybe a little later unless you want to see me with drool on my face and sleep in my eyes still.”

            “That sounds so very appealing,” Harry teased, smile on his face that he tried and failed at fighting off. “I’ll be there, I promise.”

            The two hung up after that and Harry called his mother back as he prepared to run to the store. He didn’t have the necessary ingredients for cinnamon pancakes either.

            “So who is Louis?” his mom used as her greeting. Harry was confused again for a moment because how did she know, but then he remembered that he’d blurted the other man’s name before switching over and, shit, that was the first time he’d mentioned him to his mother. (Because why would he? There was no need to.)

            “No one,” Harry answered, knowing she wouldn’t drop it at that, but still hoping.

            “You better not have hung up on me for ‘no one,’ mister,” the woman scolded. Suddenly, Harry felt like a teenager again.

            “He’s just a friend, mum. An acquaintance, really.”

            “You sure got off the phone in a hurry.”

            “I just thought that maybe he needed something.”

            It was a weak excuse and Harry knew it.

            “Is he cute?” his mom continued. Harry groaned.

            “What?” she asked. “Acquaintance or not, you have eyeballs, don’t you?”

            “He’s cute,” Harry admitted, “but so what?”

            “You should ask him on a date.”

            “I don’t think so.”

            “Why not?”

            “We’re just friends. Acquaintances.”

            “That could change.”

            “No.”

            “I have a good feeling about this one, Harry.”

            “Mum, the only thing you know about him is his name,” the woman’s son said with a laugh.

            “I know he’s important enough to hang up on your mother without even a goodbye for.”

            “Sorry about that, by the way.”

            “Don’t apologize. Just ask this Louis on a date.”

            “I can’t. It’s complicated, mum, okay?”

            “I don’t see how.”

            “He’s raising his two younger sisters. I don’t know exactly what happened. His mum died, I guess, and I have no idea about his dad, but dads are great at bailing on their kids, so…”

            “Your father didn’t bail on you, Harry,” the woman sighed. “He bailed on me.”

            “Whatever. That’s not the point.”

            “Well, it sounds to me like this poor guy needs some fun in his life.”

            “He’s a stripper,” Harry tried as a last resort. “Do you really want me to date a stripper?”

            “He has to make a living, son. I would have stripped if I had any coordination whatsoever. Well, that, and if you hadn’t given me such terrible stretch marks.”

            “That was a very, very scarring mental image, mother.”

            The woman laughed, not feeling an ounce of shame.

            “Take Louis out,” she said again. “Even if it’s not as an actual date.”

            “It’s not like it’s easy for him to find someone to watch the kids.”

            “I would watch them. How old are they anyway?”

            “The older one is eleven and the baby…I’m not sure, actually. Probably six months or so. But I don’t think Louis would let a stranger watch his sisters.”

            “We’ll meet each other first. When do you think a good time would be?”

            “I don’t know. He’s pretty much always working.”

            “Ask him out-or to hang out-first, and if he really wants to, he’ll find a way to make it work.”

            “I’ll think about it, but no promises.”

            “You better or you’re grounded, Harry Edward Styles.”

            Harry just laughed, knowing that was impossible.

            He did debate on asking Louis out, he really did, the whole time he was at the grocery store and during the ride home, in fact. He knew he couldn’t do it, though. He just couldn’t.

***

            Kelsey opened the door for him the next morning, explaining that Louis was still in the shower and would be out in a minute. In the meantime, Harry set the ingredients on the counter and the girl helped him get out the other cooking items they would need. By the time they were ready to begin, Louis had joined them, and Harry decided that he looked good with messy, wet hair.

            Louis intently watched Harry cook, memorizing the recipe in case they liked it, which they did. After breakfast, while Kelsey finished getting ready for school, Louis washed up their breakfast dishes while Harry dried them. They didn’t speak, but it was a comfortable silence. Louis seemed more relaxed than Harry had ever seen him without alcohol and he liked it. He liked it a lot.

            “So how’s the new job?” he asked once the dishes were clean, watching in amusement as Louis stood on his tiptoes while putting away the ones placed on the higher shelves. Harry could have helped, but it was too cute, and he felt like Louis might get offended if he offered his assistance anyway.

            “Yesterday was my first shift,” Louis said, “but it went fine. Niall is training me, so working with him is nice, even if he does drive me fucking crazy. I mean, no offense, but I did not ever once need to hear about Liam’s ‘falling asleep’ face.”

            “New love,” Harry said with a laugh.

            “But, I mean, I already have to hear Liam talk about Niall’s sneezing face at my other job.”

            “New, borderline creepy love,” Harry amended. Louis just shook his head, but there was a small smile on his face.

            “Do you work at the club tonight?” Harry asked.

            “Yeah.”

            “I might drop by then.”

            Harry hadn’t even been aware he’d had those plans until that moment, but alright.

            “Okay, but soon you’re going to have to tip _somebody_. You don’t want to be _one of those._ ”

            “I’m not sure what ‘one of those’ is, but I definitely don’t want to be included in that group,” Harry agreed.

            “Good. ‘Those’ are just slightly above the strip-nappers.”

            “Strip-nappers?”

            “Yeah. The guys who latch onto one stripper and won’t leave them alone the entire night. The ones who enjoy the performance just a little too much and want them to go home with him afterwards, probably never to be seen again.”

            “…Louis, that’s terrifying.”

            Louis shrugged.

            “It’s not like we do it. Well, except Chet.”

            Harry had a feeling Chet may have been the one he’d talked to while looking for Louis. He’d been strange, but Harry hoped he never got himself ‘strip-napped.’           

            “The lads thought you strip-napped me, by the way,” Louis added.

            “What?!” Harry asked, part amused and part offended.

            “I guess nobody told them I went home sick at first and they were about to call the police and everything. I had a text from Brendon the next morning promising they would find me, so not to worry and to just stay strong.”

            Harry couldn’t help but laugh.

            “That’s ridiculous,” he said, amused. Louis just smiled.

***

            Harry did go to the strip club that night and was surprised when he didn’t see Niall there.

            “We don’t have to be together _all_ the time,” Liam had said with an eye roll when Harry jokingly asked him if there was trouble in paradise. Harry hadn’t even come up with a snarky reply before Liam was whipping out his cell phone and smiling down at the screen.

            “Who are you texting, Liam?” Harry asked.

            “Shut up,” Liam said.

            “You two disgust me,” Harry told him, standing with his drink as he began to make his way to the stage.

            “Open your heart, Harry!” he heard Liam call after him.

            “Don’t have one!” Harry called back with a wave of his hand. He could practically feel Liam’s eye roll that time.

            Harry didn’t go right up to the stage. No, that would make him seem too desperate. He knew he would eventually, briefly, so he could tip and not be one of ‘those’ that Louis had warned him about, but he was going to be picky. Perhaps he would tip Chet, if he was working tonight, but then he might think of that as an invitation, so…no, definitely not Chet.

            Once the current performer left the stage, it was Louis’s turn, and Harry found himself sitting up a bit straighter. Louis sauntered out, face serious at first; his beautiful, flawless body lightly covered in a black mesh top and hot pink short-shorts. Harry had previously decided that red was his color, but there was something about that pink that was really working for him.

            When Louis saw Harry sitting close to the stage, a wide smile split across his face, which Harry returned. Louis broke eye contact after that, but the shadow of that smile remained. Okay, so Louis usually smiled while performing, but Harry liked to think this was a different kind of smile. There was no one to tell him otherwise, at least.

            Watching the crowd’s reaction to Louis made Harry feel a little sorry for the other strippers because he really did get the most reactions, and, seemingly, the most tips. He deserved it, though, Harry thought, so he didn’t feel _too_ bad.

            One man in particular seemed to find Louis worthy of going to the poorhouse for, because he would tip, get Louis’s little gratitude performance, and then tip again soon after Louis went to the next tipper or back to his routine. It was really starting to piss Harry off, if he was being honest.

            _It’s his job, Harry,_ the man silently reasoned with himself. _Louis appreciates the money._

            While all that may have been good in theory, it didn’t make Harry feel any better, and he soon found himself heading towards the side of the stage’s platform, digging into his wallet for some money. (How much was he supposed to tip anyway?)

            Louis’s bigger smile returned when he saw Harry waiting for him, and at first Harry admitted that it was maybe just in his head, but he swore he saw a couple of people glare at him from the corner of his eye, so perhaps not.

            “I didn’t mean you had to tip _me_ ,” Louis said into Harry’s ear after he’d sunk to his knees in front of him. He was still moving his waist a little bit, his hands playing with the back of Harry’s hair and, wow, he was good at that.

            “But you’re my favorite,” Harry said with a grin.

            “Aww, aren’t you sweet?” Louis said, half smiling and half smirking, a twinkle in his eyes that also made Harry feel…things.

            “Besides,” Harry said after clearing his throat, “I wanted to save you from the strip-napper over there.”

            Louis laughed loudly at that, and apparently that wasn’t a normal part of his performance because he covered his mouth for a moment while composing himself. Harry kind of didn’t like that.

            “I taught you well,” Louis said, and he was still smiling, at least, so Harry smiled too. “Now,” Louis continued, “are you going to put the money in?”

            As he spoke, Louis moved his hand down Harry’s back and down to his waist before touching his wrist gently, head cocked a bit to the side and that twinkle back in his eye.

            “Um…you can just take it,” Harry said, cheeks turning warm.

            “Come on, Harry!” Louis groaned, sitting up higher and scooting closer to the man. Their chests were nearly touching. “You need to make me look good.”

            Harry stared blankly, actual panic forming. Louis rolled his eyes, but laughed too, just a little then, gently taking the money from Harry and putting it into his bottoms.

            “You have to at least touch me,” he spoke in Harry’s ear again.

            “Um…where?” Harry asked, turning his head slightly so no one could read his lips. Louis smelled like sweat, money and shampoo and that combination wasn’t supposed to really be enticing, but suddenly, it was.

            “Where do you touch other guys?” Louis asked. “Are you a butt man, a pec man, an ab man, a bicep man…a dick man?”

            “I…I don’t know.”

            “You are so awkward,” Louis said, but his smile had grown again and he bopped Harry gently on the nose as he spoke. That was so cute and innocent that Harry wasn’t prepared for Louis to grab one of his hands after that, placing it on his chest, where Harry could feel his heartbeat. It didn’t stay there long, and then Louis was sliding it past his nipple, down his ribcage and to his abs, then to his curvy waist and, finally, back to his butt, which he made sure Harry _really_ felt.

            Harry was going to have to talk to Liam because he was pretty sure the air conditioning was broken. As such, he wasn’t quite sure what his face looked like, but it made Louis laugh again. He didn’t seem to be making fun of Harry, though, and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he parted. Harry hadn’t seen him do that to anyone else and went back to the bar unable to resist feeling a bit smug.

            “Here you go.” Liam slid a bottle of water to Harry when he returned. “On the house. You look thirsty. _Parched_ , actually. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to find some Pepto Bismol because that was nauseating.”

            “You told me to open my heart, Liam,” Harry pointed out, taking a sip of water because he _was_ thirsty, thank you, but only in the dehydrated sort of way.

            “That had nothing to do with your heart, and I never asked to see your foreplay with my best friend.”

            “Then why’d you watch?”

            After a moment’s hesitation, Liam nodded, defeated. Harry was on top of the world.

            Louis came over during his break and, at first, Harry was afraid things would be awkward then, but Louis stood close enough to him that their arms were touching as he ordered two shots from Liam. _Two_. It must be another bad night, and Harry suddenly didn’t feel on top of the world anymore and was about to ask Louis what was wrong when Louis turned, holding one of the shot glasses out to him.

            “Take one with me,” he said. Harry took the glass.

            “Alright.”

            “Count for us, Liam.”

            Louis put the shot glass up to his lips and Harry mimicked him, both smiling at each other until Liam counted to three and they tipped their glasses back. Louis finished before Harry and smiled at his ‘shot face.’

            “You’re a champ,” Louis said, clapping Harry on the shoulder. “By the way, how much do I owe you for babysitting? I just realized I never paid you.”

            “Oh, no, don’t worry about it.”

            “I wasn’t going to give you the bills from my ass crack, Harry, relax.”

            Harry laughed loudly, feeling that shot just a little.

            “No, it’s seriously okay. I wasn’t going to charge you.”

            Louis gave Harry one of his Louis looks, but Harry simply smiled before turning back to their bartender friend.

            “A couple more of whatever we just had, please?”

            The night continued on smoothly, Louis sitting by Harry and talking to him about nothing in particular when he wasn’t up dancing or changing. It had been one of the rare nights in which Kelsey and Lily had a babysitter and so there wasn’t anything or anyone else to distract them from each other, except the random men who tried to go up and talk to Louis, but Harry shot them down with what he liked to believe were quite menacing looks when Louis was turned away.

            They had another drink each, but the alcohol soon wore off, due to the basket of greasy cheese fries which Liam had given them, and the pizza which Louis had ordered himself. Still, Harry was feeling really good when last call was announced and some people started leaving.

            “Louis, I want to ask you something,” he blurted, because apparently his mouth was still tipsy.

            “And what would that be?” Louis asked, blinking basically in slow motion. He had really long eyelashes, Harry noted. Very pretty. Louis was very pretty. But in a masculine way.

            “Will you go on a date with me?”

            Louis raised an eyebrow and was silent for an impossible length of time before saying, quite loudly,

            “Harry whatever-the-rest-of your-name-is, are you drunk?!”

            “No!” Harry said, and the accompanying giggle probably didn’t help, but he wasn’t drunk, honest. He was just nervous. He was really nervous. And still slightly turned on from earlier…and every moment since.

            “No, I’m not drunk, I swear.”

            “Are you one of those drunks that insist they’re not drunk?”

            “No! Louis…just…answer my question, please.”

            Louis studied Harry’s face, thinking, and his voice was a lot softer when he spoke again.

            “I doubt I could find anyone to watch the kids…”

            “My mum would.”

            Louis studied Harry a little longer.

            “Why?”

            “Why? Because she really likes kids.

            “No, I mean why do you want to go out with me? Not too long ago, my entire being disgusted you.”

            “That’s quite harsh language,” Harry said, even if it was true. “I don’t like what you do, Louis-” (unless you’re doing it just for me, he didn’t say out loud)-“but I get it now, and I like _you_. You’re more than what you do for a living.”

            Yet again, Louis stayed silent, trying to find the right words to say. (The right words to let him down with?)

            Suddenly feeling as if the mood had gotten too heavy, Harry spoke again, trying to lighten it back up.

            “Besides, you owe me.”

            “I owe you?!” Louis asked with a disbelieving laugh. “For what? I already offered to pay you-”

            “No, not for that,” Harry said.

            “What then?”

            “You quite ruined my favorite pair of shoes.”

            Okay, they hadn’t been Harry’s favorite, but Louis needn’t know that.

            “Those were your favorite?” Louis asked. “You have unfortunate taste then, and I actually did you a favor, as they were ugly anyway.”

            “Excuse me, but you were so trashed that I bet you can’t even remember what kind they were. Besides, you only saw them when you were hunched over, spewing your guts out on them.”

            Louis smiled, not confirming or denying that statement.

            “What were you thinking we do?” he asked.

            “I’m not sure yet,” Harry told him. “I didn’t want to make plans until I got a yes.”

            “Hmm…fine,” Louis said. “You can have one date.”

            “Only one?”

            “Yes,” Louis said, adding on, softer, “for now.”

            Jumping down from his chair, Louis grabbed his bag and began to head out to Liam’s car, presumably, but Harry called out, stopping him.

            “Can I take you home?” he asked once Louis had turned.

            “Well, I guess so, Harry, if you really want to.”

            Harry nodded, getting down from his chair as he pulled his keys from his pocket.

            “Yeah. Let’s go.”

            Once in the car, Harry turned on the radio, pre-eliminating any awkward silence. Some familiar love song was playing, but before Harry could remember the title, Louis banged on the buttons until the station changed.

            “Wow,” Harry said. “There was a lot of emotion behind that. Are you anti-love or something?”

            “No. Sorry. I know it’s your car and such, it’s just…my ex dedicated that song to me; you know, when we were together.”

            “What a jerk,” Harry sympathized. Louis laughed.

            “You don’t even know what he did.”

            “I know that he ruined a perfectly good love song for you,” Harry said, not mentioning that, thanks to Kelsey, he actually did know the truth. Louis simply laughed again.

            “You’re an odd one,” he noted.

            “Thanks,” Harry said sarcastically.

            “Never said it was a bad thing.”

            “You never said it was a good thing either.”

            “Well, maybe I’m still trying to figure that out.”

            “Yeah? Well, I think you’re pretty weird too.”

            Harry knew he should keep his eyes on the road, but he just couldn’t help but to glance over at his passenger, who turned to the window to hide his smiling face.

            When Harry pulled up in Louis’s driveway, he turned the radio down to near silence and moved his body the best he could to the other man.

            “So when are you free?”

            “Thursday is my only other night off this week, but next week-”

            “Thursday is fine. Do you want to meet my mum before she watches your sisters?”

            “Does your mum love you, Harry?”

            “Um, yes, I think so,” Harry answered, frowning in confusion because, what?

            “Then it should be fine. I’ll go in before leaving them there, of course, but she should know better than to do anything to my sisters while I have her son.”

            “Should I be afraid?”

            “I don’t know, should you?”

            “I don’t know. I mean, you’re a pretty big guy, so…”                                

            “Hey, don’t let my beautiful petite-ness fool you. I am one tough beast.”

            “No, trust me, I believe you.”

            “Good, you better.”

            Both men smiled at each other, but then Louis pulled on the door handle, popping it open but not getting out yet.

            “Thanks for the ride.”

            “You’re welcome. I’ll pick you up at six on Thursday?”

            “That’s fine.”

            Louis climbed out of the car then, though he didn’t really have to, Harry wanted to say.

            “See you Thursday,” Louis said.

            “See you.”

            Thursday couldn’t come soon enough.


	6. Chapter 6

            Unlike his first date with Louis, when they had simply gone out as a good deed for Liam and Niall, Harry actually put effort into his outfit for the second date. (And first real one, by his standards.) The night was abnormally cool for the middle of May, so he was glad that he was, once again, able to break out his jackets. At first, he chose a fashionable black one to go on top of his black shirt, but he also had black jeans on and didn’t want to look like he was mourning the fact that he had a date, so he traded that jacket for a longer, yet still casual gray one and added a blue scarf for some color. He still wasn’t fully satisfied, but then he realized he was about to be late and ran out, anxiety set medium-high.

            Louis, of course, looked wonderful because he always looked wonderful, even if it made Harry a little angry to admit. Also, they were both wearing blue, in almost the exact same shade; something that Kelsey was quick to point out.

            “You look like a couple,” she said as she climbed into the backseat while Louis worked on getting Lily’s car seat set up. He pretended not to hear his sister, but Harry smiled at her.

            “Great minds think alike,” he said. Kelsey smiled too. Louis finished buckling the baby up and got in the car next to Harry.

            “Hi,” Harry said.

            “Hello” Louis replied.

            “So formal,” Harry commented as he backed out of the driveway and headed to his mom’s house.

            “Hey, what’s up?” Louis amended, his small, trying-not-to-smile smile appearing on his face.

            “Much better,” Harry said.

            They didn’t have far to go, and Kelsey kept the conversation up for the most part; filling Harry in on the newest news from that boyband they had watched on television when Harry babysat her. Harry didn’t mind at all. He would have Louis to himself almost all night anyway.

            Harry’s mom greeted him with a tight hug, as he had already prepared himself for, but it didn’t last as long as her usual hugs, and then she turned to the other three, a big smile on her face.

            “You must be Louis,” she said to her son’s date, shaking his hand politely.

            “Yes, ma’am,” Louis said, giving her a smile back.

            “None of that ‘ma’am’ stuff, dear. You can call me Anne. And you-,” she said, turning to the oldest girl-“must be Kelsey.”

            “I am,” Kelsey said, also smiling, before taking the baby carrier from her brother. “This is Lily.”

            “You both have very pretty names. Now come in, out of the doorway. Boys, I know you have to leave soon, but, Louis, if you would like a tour of the place to make sure everything is fit, I wouldn’t mind giving you one.”

            “Oh, that’s okay, thanks,” Louis said, still smiling and looking honestly appreciative. “You’re a mum, and Harry made it to adulthood, so…”

            Louis trailed off and Anne laughed.

            “Yes, with no thanks to himself, he did,” she joked, placing one hand on her grown child’s cheek.

            “Mother,” Harry warned, moving away from her. She wasn’t bothered.

            “Your sisters will be fine,” she assured Louis.

            With that, the men decided it was time to leave, Louis telling Kelsey to call if she needed anything and giving Anne his phone number as well first.

            “Have fun!” Kelsey said, running back over to hug Louis when Harry had one hand on the doorknob.

            “I promise I won’t keep him too late,” Harry told her.

            “Keep him as long as you want,” Kelsey said and then she actually winked. Louis face palmed.

            Dinner was the first (and so far, only) thing planned for the night. Harry took him to a nice restaurant, though nothing too fancy; just fancy enough to serve wine, because experience had taught him that both were far less awkward if they had a little alcohol in their systems. They both drank more than they ate, and were soon quite tipsy.

            “I have to go to the bathroom,” Louis commented, standing up from his seat and pulling down on his shirt.

            “Don’t do that!” Harry said dramatically. “Once you start, you won’t be able to stop!”

            “Yes, well, that is a risk I’m willing to take,” Louis said. “Try not to miss me too much!”

            “I’ll do my best,” Harry promised as Louis began the journey to find the restrooms. The other took that moment to check his phone and panicked a little when he saw a text from his mom, but all it said was, ‘he’s gorgeous,’ complete with a drool-faced emoji. Harry told her that she was a pervert.

            “So I don’t really have any other plans for the night,” Harry admitted once the two had finished their meals and Harry was waiting for his card to be returned. (Louis had tried and failed to pay for his own because of course he did.) “I’m really bad at this dating thing.”

            “It’s okay. I don’t really remember how it works either,” Louis said.

            “Well, we can do whatever you want,” Harry offered. “That is, unless you’re ready to go home.”

            “Mmm…not yet.”

            “Good. I was hoping for that answer.”

            Louis smiled at Harry and finished off his last glass of wine. Harry honestly had no idea how he was still good to go when he had drunk much more than him and he was even feeling it, but he had to admit that he was impressed.

            “So what do you do for fun?” Harry asked.

            “I don’t remember,” Louis said with a laugh.

            “We should have gone on a day date,” Harry said. “There would have been more to do. Sorry.”

            “We have more time this way. I don’t have to worry about getting Kelsey from school or anything. We’ll find something. Actually, there is a park a couple blocks from here. Want to walk around there and just…like…talk? I mean, you know too much about me now, but I know nothing about you.”

            “I don’t know that much about you,” Harry disagreed.

            “More than I know about you. The only thing I really know about you is that you like ugly shoes.”

            “Ouch,” Harry said, though he was smiling. “I didn’t deserve that one.”

            “You’re right,” Louis said after a moment’s contemplation. He was also smiling. “I’m sorry.”

            Harry’s card was returned and after securing it away, the two stood to leave. Maybe Louis was feeling the wine more than he let on because he stumbled forward when he stood, gripping the table in front of him so tight that his knuckles turned white and shutting his eyes for a moment as he worked on steadying himself.

            “Are you okay?” Harry asked, staring with worry. Normally, he would laugh and make some joke about the other man’s intoxication level, but Louis had suddenly paled as well, and Harry was honestly concerned that he was going to pass out.

            “I’m fine,” Louis said, opening his eyes and forcing a smile. He was still holding onto the table. “Been drinking, stood too fast and all that.”

            “Are you sure? We can sit back down if you need to. I can get you some more water.”

            “I’m fine, Harry. Sorry. I’m just a bit of a wine-o.”

            “That’s okay,” Harry said, laughing a bit though he was still worried. Some color was returning to Louis’s face, however, and he managed to let go of the table and steady himself, so the worst had hopefully passed.

            “Alright then. Let’s go.”

            Louis called Kelsey during the walk to the park and she assured him that she was fine and not to rush home. Anne also told them to stay out as late as they wanted and that she had a bed Kelsey could sleep in until they picked her up.

            “Louis,” Harry said as they neared the park, “I did something bad.”

            “That doesn’t surprise me,” Louis teased. “But what did you do?”

            Feeling rather slick and proud of himself, Harry pulled a mini bottle of wine from his jacket and, really, how Louis didn’t notice it before was beyond him, but Louis’s mouth dropped open when he saw it, both amusement and beratement in his eyes.

            “Did you steal that?!”

            “Well, no,” Harry admitted. “I didn’t think you would approve of that. I just wanted to feel sneaky.”

            “You’re _very_ sneaky,” Louis assured him with a smile on his face, hand brushing Harry’s as he took the bottle from him, popped the cork and took a long swig.

            “This tastes even better than at the restaurant,” Louis said, holding it back out for the other. “Try it.”

            “It’s the same thing,” Harry said. “I bought it while you were in the bathroom.”

            He took the bottle from the other anyway and took a drink. “Mm, you’re right though.”

            Louis smiled, then stumbled into Harry.

            “Whoa,” Harry said with a small laugh-why was he laughing so much tonight?-as he held onto Louis’s hips, steadying him.

            “Sorry,” Louis said, smile still plastered on his face. He then moved his hand down to grab onto Harry’s hand, looking rather sheepish. “I think it will be easier to walk this way,” he explained.

            “You’re probably right,” Harry said, closing his fingers around the other’s. His heart fluttered.

            They continued down the park’s trail that way, sometimes not speaking at all and sometimes rambling about whatever popped in their heads. None of the topics were of any importance, really, but that was fine.

            “The fireflies are out! I thought it was too cold for them!” Louis exclaimed during one of their brief moments of silence as they saw a tiny light from somewhere to the side. One lit up again, and then Louis let go of Harry’s hand to chase after them. He looked so embarrassingly adorable that Harry couldn’t help but laugh some more as his date twisted and spun, hands flailing as he attempted to catch the insects. The only success he had was in making himself dizzy, and soon, Harry saw him fall right down onto his side and stay in the grass, unmoving.

            “Oh shit,” he said, though was still giggling as he went to see if the man was alright.

            “You alive down there?” he asked, staring down at Louis’s lifeless body. One blue eye popped open.

            “I was outsmarted by lightning bugs,” he said.

            “It happens to the best of us,” Harry said. “Here. I’ll help you up.”

            Louis took the hand Harry held down for him, but instead of using it to pull himself up, he tugged Harry to the ground, the man landing with a light ‘oomph’ right by Louis.

            “I’m comfy down here,” Louis said, laughing again, which got Harry’s going. He didn’t know exactly how long they stayed there, just giggling, but Harry’s side started to hurt and, also, Louis had somehow gotten closer. Harry’s shirt was now balled up in one of the man’s hands while the other was resting on his hip. Suddenly, nothing seemed that funny anymore, just peaceful. Harry could go to sleep there.

            Or kiss Louis.

            He decided on the latter.

            “Mm-mm!” Louis let out a squeak of protest as he saw Harry’s lips heading towards his own, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he stared up at Harry with wide eyes.

            “What’s wrong?” Harry asked, propping himself up on one arm and tilting his head in concern.

            “We’re not in the right state of mind to be making these decisions,” Louis said, hand still over his mouth, muffling his speech a bit.

            “It’s just a kiss, Louis,” Harry said.

            “No it isn’t,” Louis said, voice suddenly soft. Harry could barely hear him. _Barely_ , but he still could. “If you kiss me, I might fall in love with you.”

            “I might already be in love with you,” Harry said, because he was slightly drunk, so what did he know? He could be.

            “You’re not in love with me, you idiot,” Louis said, uncovering his mouth and climbing on top of Harry, pinning his arms behind his head. Harry kind of wanted more than just a kiss now.

            “You don’t know how I feel,” he said after clearing his throat, making sure to keep his tone light.

            “Neither do you,” Louis said, and he was smiling again, so that was a good sign. “You’re just drunk.”

            “I’m not drunk,” Harry said. “I’m just tipsy. _You’re_ drunk.”

            Louis legitimately giggled when Harry poked him in the stomach, falling sideways off of him and wrapping his arms around his own middle.

            “I am quite intoxicated,” he admitted, causing Harry to crack up for the billionth time that night. Louis continued giggling for a while until he sighed and threw an arm across his eyes. “The world is spinning.”

            “Are you going to be sick?” Harry asked, reaching over to play with a few strands of the other’s hair that lay across his forehead.

            “No,” he answered, “It’s a good spinny.”

            Harry didn’t quite know what that meant, but Louis was happy, so he didn’t really care.

            “We should probably find some food and water soon if we’re going to drive home anytime tonight,” Harry said. Louis didn’t respond, and Harry was about convinced he fell asleep when he spoke up.

            “Do you ever feel like running away?”

            “I did, kind of,” Harry said, not commenting on the randomness of the question. “I’m not who I used to be, like, at all. I ran away from myself.”

            “That’s deep,” Louis said, and he wasn’t even mocking Harry. Not at all.

            “Do you want to run away?” Harry asked in return.

            “I want to take the girls and disappear sometimes,” Louis admitted. Harry was glad his eyes were still covered so he couldn’t see his frown.

            “Don’t disappear. I’d miss you.”

            Unable to resist, Harry lay back down and scooted closer, brushing his lips against the other’s neck. Louis giggled, but gently pushed him off, sitting up afterwards.

            “What did you mean you’re not who you used to be?”

            “I was quite a wild child,” Harry admitted. “Drinking, having meaningless sex with almost anyone, breaking any rule I could that wouldn’t get me in _too_ much trouble…and I hated it the whole time, so when my dad died and left me with that chunk of money, I skipped town and started to recreate myself. Sometimes I think I went too far though.’

            “You drink though, right? Or am I just a bad influence?”

            “No, I still drink,” Harry said, “just not nearly as much.”

            “Are you happy, Harry?”

            “Right now? Yeah, I’m really happy.”

            Harry briefly thought about trying to kiss Louis again, but his ego couldn’t take another rejection and, besides, Louis was too far away now, as Harry was still lying quite comfortably in the grass.

            “I meant happy in general,” Louis said.

            “I’m not sad,” Harry answered. “I just…am.”

            “Hmm.”

            Louis bit his lip, thinking for a few moments before speaking up nervously.

            “The old you wasn’t who you wanted to be, but maybe the new you isn’t either. Maybe the real Harry is somewhere in between.”

            “Yeah,” Harry said, small smile on his face to try and reassure Louis that he had nothing to be nervous for. “Maybe.”

            “I’m sorry your dad died, by the way.”

            “Don’t be,” Harry told him, and then cleared his throat, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “I mean, I only saw him a couple weeks out of the year. We weren’t really close. His way of showing love was by buying me things, so, um, yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

            “I don’t know where my dad is,” Louis said, pulling some grass out of the ground and then moving his hand slowly so they could fall back to the ground bit by bit.

            “What happened?”

            “During Lily’s delivery, there were some complications. My mum didn’t make it. It really messed my dad up, and he just shut himself in his room for the next few weeks until one day, we woke up and he was just gone. We looked for him a bit, but assumed he would come back after he cleared his head. It’s been almost seven months, but either he’s not done clearing his head yet, or he’s not coming back. My vote is on the latter.”

            Harry sat up then, moving close enough to Louis so that their knees touched, trying to show that he was there, if he wanted him.

            “Louis, I’m so sorry.”

            “Not your fault,” Louis said with a shrug while attempting a smile, but he still looked sad, and Harry understood, but he didn’t like it one bit.

            “Are you sure I can’t kiss you?” he asked. Kissing would distract him from the sadness, surely.

            “Can we go somewhere and get some water? I’m really thirsty,” Louis said, standing slowly and brushing the grass from his hands and the back of his pants.

            “Sure,” Harry said, holding in his sigh as he stood as well. Louis slipped his hand into Harry’s as they walked again, at least.

            Harry still didn’t feel comfortable driving, so they took a cab to the nearest fast food chain, loading up on water and, in Harry’s case, greasy food to sober up. By the time they got back to Harry’s car, he felt fine and drove them back to his mother’s place, though he had thought about feigning drunkenness still to get a little extra time with his date.

            Both children were asleep once they arrived, and after assuring Anne that they had a great time and thanking her, the men carried the smaller ones to the car; Harry holding the baby and Louis with Kelsey, who he claimed wouldn’t wake for anything at that point.

            Harry helped carry Lily and the diaper bag into Louis’s house and then Louis walked him to the door, smiling as Harry stepped out.

            “Thank you for tonight. I had a great time, honestly,” he said, leaning sleepily against the door frame. He was a bit pale again, Harry noted, but he was probably just tired. Besides, he looked happy again.

            “I had a wonderful time too. Thank you for agreeing to it.”

            Louis’s smile became a little wider.

            “Talk to you soon?”

            “I hope so.”

            Harry wasn’t dumb-or drunk-enough to go for a kiss again, so he gave a small wave before turning and heading back to his car.

            “Good night, Harry,” he heard Louis say from behind him.

            “‘Night,” Harry replied, smiling at the other.

***

            Harry already had a text message from Louis when he woke the next morning.

            _Ugh_ , _I forgot about the massive headache wine causes_

 _I’m fine_ , Harry replied, smiling a bit to himself, though he hadn’t any idea why. Louis having a headache was no smiling matter. _You must be a lightweight_ , he added before he sent his message, though he knew it was a lie. Louis replied with an angry faced emoji and Harry sent back a flower, because why not?

            _Yeah, why didn’t I get any of those yesterday?_ Louis asked.

            _Flowers? Sorry, didn’t know it was customary to get men flowers for their dates_

_Men can like flowers too_

_So sorry. I’ll get you some next time :)_ _  
_

It took Louis a bit longer to reply that time, and Harry was starting to grow a bit nervous when, finally, his phone vibrated.

            _I was kidding, Curly_

_Sure you were. So…will there be a next time?_

_Maybe_

_That stings a little. But ok_

Louis sent another emoji, a winking one, and Harry smiled, but left it at that. He’d done his part, and now it was Louis’s turn.

            And that was absolutely terrifying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a new character. Hi, Stan! :)
> 
> I also added a couple of new tags, if anyone is interested, but only the last two are new! I have been informed that some may not have seen all of my tags previously and if that is the case with you, I am sorry :/ Again, if you want information on how things will turn out in the end, my email and tumblr info are in the first chapter! :) (Or you can just asked me for them again.)
> 
> For the ones that I did add, though, I'm sorry. I try to put them all there in the beginning, but my story often changes from how I originally plan it so new things sometimes pop up.

            Harry didn’t receive a single text or phone call from Louis until Saturday afternoon (and in the meantime, Harry totally did not start his own text about twelve times before deleting it) and when his phone started ringing and he looked down to see Louis’s name, he actually, literally, dropped his phone. He was an idiot.

            “Hey,” Harry answered, glad Louis couldn’t see his bright cheeks.

            “Hey! How are you?”

            “I’m fine. How are you?”

            “Same. Um….hey…I was just wondering if you had any plans for tonight?”

            “Nope, not so far.”

            Harry’s heart was beating way too fast for his own good. He was ashamed.

            “One of my friends from uni invited me to a party tonight. Liam is off and said he would watch the girls, and someone is covering for me at the club, so I was just wondering if maybe you want to come? I know you said the whole party scene isn’t your thing anymore, so we can totally do something else if you’re not up for it. Only if you want to do something, of course…”

            “I would love to go to the party with you,” Harry said, smiling and feeling a bit better that he wasn’t the only one who was a little awkward with this type of thing.

            “Really? Oh, okay. Great. I’ll drive this time. Seven thirty okay? The place is a little ways away.”

            “That’s fine. I’ll text you my address.”

            Though Louis had been the one to ask Harry out that time, Harry had still made him a promise and went out to buy a bouquet of bright, lively flowers. He felt ridiculous but he thought, or at least hoped, he would get to see Louis’s full smile; the one that crinkled up his pretty blue eyes. That would make it all worth it.

            Okay, Harry _was_ ridiculous.

***

            A few minutes before seven thirty, Harry heard his doorbell ring and ran to open it.

            “Hi, come on in,” he said to Louis, who was dressed in a band T-shirt and ripped up jeans. Uni student was a good look for him, but then again, what wasn’t?

            Louis entered.

            “I just have to grab something and I’ll be back. I know we have to go, but I’ll be real quick,” Harry said.

            “Take your time,” Louis assured him, but that was something Harry was not going to do, and he walked quickly into the kitchen, grabbing the vase with the flowers in them-and then checking his hair in his reflection from the toaster-before walking briskly back to Louis. He was almost out of breath, and really needed to calm down, but he just couldn’t.

            “For you,” he said, holding the vase out for Louis (and maybe hitting him in the face with one of the flowers, but minor details.)

            “Harry, I was totally kidding!” Louis exclaimed, surprise on his face, but also happiness and even a certain softness.

            “You weren’t,” Harry disagreed.

            “Well, either way, thank you. They’re beautiful.”

            “You’re welcome. We’ll just keep them here until we get back, yeah?”

            Louis nodded, handing the vase back to Harry, who set it on the nearest end table before smiling and clapping his hands together.

            “So, you ready to go?”

            “Yeah, I’m ready,” Louis said, turning to head back out the door. Harry saw him glance at the flowers one more time before he was out the door, and also smile again. Suddenly, Harry didn’t think it had been a ridiculous idea at all.

            “To be honest, I didn’t even know you drove,” Harry commented as he climbed into Louis’s old, but nice, car.

            “Yeah. I just get a ride to the night job because I prefer not to stay sober.”

            “That’s understandable.”

            Louis turned on some music as he drove, to some classic rock station. Both sang along to the songs, laughing whenever one of them messed up the words or started a line too early, but neither was ever offended. They were laughing at themselves just as much as they were at each other.

            “So did you go to university?” Harry asked during a song neither knew, and in which Louis turned down the radio.

            “Yeah,” he said. “I was about a year from graduating, but then…everything happened. It was almost the end of term, so my professors were nice and let me finish the semester online, but I couldn’t really go back once I adopted the girls.”

            “Do you think you ever will? At least to a community campus, or online?”

            “I doubt it. I was studying drama, so even if I graduated, the only jobs I would probably be able to find would be exactly what I’m doing now.”

            Harry laughed, because it was a joke, but also because he didn’t know how else to reply. Would it be better to agree with Louis on that point, or disagree?

            “Well, now you get to go to the parties without the school work. Sounds good to me,” he said after Louis had been silent for about a minute.

            “Exactly,” the other said, smiling again. “It’s every student’s dream.”

***

            They held hands again on the way into the party; only breaking apart when someone jumped onto Louis, knocking him back a bit.

            “Louis, my love!” the guy exclaimed, and Harry didn’t particularly appreciate him using that term of endearment with his date, but he politely said nothing.

            “Hey, Stan. It’s good to see you, mate,” Louis told the guy, setting his friend’s feet back on the ground. “I brought someone. Hope that’s okay.”

            “Of course! Boyfriend?” Louis’s friend, Stan, asked, looking Harry up and down, but the expression on his face was friendly enough.

            “Um, not exactly,” Louis said, and then Harry cut in, holding his hand out for the stranger to shake as he introduced himself.

            “I’m Harry.”

            “Nice to meet you, Harry! I’m Stan!” the man said, jovially accepting the handshake. “Come on, lads! Let’s get drinks!”

            Harry thought Stan had already consumed quite a few drinks, but followed him anyway, Louis re-lacing their fingers together.

            “Is this alright?” he asked, having to raise his voice over the pulsing music when Harry looked over at him.

            “It’s fine,” Harry assured him, squeezing his hand tightly.

            “Not boyfriends, eh?” Stan asked when they reached the drink table and he turned to see the others’ hands locked together.

            “Not boyfriends,” Louis verified, letting go of Harry to pour some liquor into three different cups.

            “Next time it will be a sober date,” he said to Harry as he handed him his drink.

            “Next time?” Harry asked, smile forming on his face. Louis smiled too, and left it at that.

            “Hm,” Stan murmured, smirking. The two ignored him.         

            Though Harry had done everything he could to avoid things that reminded him of his past, and the party was like the old parties he used to attend, but amplified, he was still having a great time. He and Louis made their rounds, Louis taking the time to reunite with old friends, but still staying close to Harry. They played beer pong, and Harry was terrible at it, but Louis cheered him on and insisted on being on his team each time, even though he often made them lose. For the most part, they stayed sober. Harry didn’t even reach the ‘tipsy’ stage, and didn’t think the other did either, but, unlike their previous sober encounters, this time it wasn’t awkward at all. In fact, Harry felt more comfortable than he ever had around Louis, and was also happier than he had been since…ever. Maybe Louis was right; maybe he wasn’t a wild party animal like before or the loner he had forced himself to become. Maybe he was somewhere in the middle. And maybe he should just stop thinking about it and go with what made him happy, like this. This…Louis…made him happy. It was time he let himself be happy, he thought, and time he made someone else happy as well.

            “I’m going to call Kelsey real quick,” Louis said, wrapping an arm around Harry’s middle as he spoke. “Do you want to come outside with me or stay in here?”

            “I’ll come with you, if that’s okay,” Harry said. He was burning up and needed to cool down anyway. He was happy that Louis had warned him beforehand to ditch the jacket he had originally been wearing over his outfit.

            Louis nodded, taking Harry’s hand again as they made their way to the front of the house. Though the day had been fairly warm, the night had cooled down quickly and Harry sighed in contentment as the breeze hit his face. Louis, somehow, shivered.

            “Are you seriously cold?” Harry asked, amused.

            “A bit,” Louis admitted, smiling sheepishly.

            “But you’re sweating,” Harry noted.

            “I am an excessively sweaty person and I do apologize for that,” Louis said.

            “It’s alright. It’s kind of hot,” Harry assured him. Louis smiled, but shook his head and sat on the step as he took out his phone to call his sister. Harry sat next to him, letting his mind wander so he wouldn’t feel as if he were eavesdropping. The party was fun, but he kind of liked being out here with Louis too; just them. It was peaceful. It felt right. It felt so right…

            From the corner of his eye, after a few minutes had passed, Harry saw Louis change positions and realized he was off the phone, arms crossed as he studied his feet.

            “Are you okay?” Harry asked, touching the other’s arm gently. His skin was warm, but Louis said,

            “Yeah, just cold. It’s actually a really nice night though, isn’t it?”

            “It is,” Harry said. “But if you’re cold, why don’t you go get my jacket out of your car? I’m not going to need it anytime soon.”

            “I’ll get it all sweaty,” Louis reasoned, looking over at Harry to smile. Harry returned it, even though he didn’t know what they were smiling about.

            “I don’t mind,” Harry assured him, and then his smile turned to a frown. “Wait, you’re not getting sick, are you? Do you have a fever?”

            “No, Harry,” Louis said, laughing and moving away when the other tried to lay a hand on his forehead. “My body is just weird.”

            “Alright. Well, let’s go get you my jacket.”

            Harry stood, offering a hand down to Louis, which was accepted. However, when he stood, he paused, just like at the restaurant, and he held tight onto Harry’s hand with both of his as he steadied himself, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them slowly, color draining quickly from his face.

            “Jesus, Louis, sit back down,” Harry said, attempting to help him back onto the porch step, but Louis shook his head.

            “I’m fine. I always get like that when I stand too fast.”

            “And you’re sure you’re not sick?”

            Something in Louis’s face changed at the question, but he quickly put his smile back in place as he answered.

            “I just have a bit of a headache is all. I’ll ask Stan for something for it when we get back in. I’m fine.”

            “Are you sure? Because we can leave. I mean, we can just go back to my place and watch a movie if you want, or you can go home and sleep. Either way…”

            “I’m okay,” Louis insisted. “Unless you want to leave…”

            “It’s up to you.”

            “Let’s stay. Just for a little while at least.”

            “Whatever makes you happy.”

            Louis gave Harry yet another smile before leading the way back to his car. He didn’t take his hand that time. In fact, as he’d been holding onto his hand, he let go as he began walking, and Harry tried to tell himself it didn’t mean anything, but it still got to him a little bit.  

            Once Louis was all snug in Harry’s jacket-which was too big on him but looked fantastic-the two went back inside; Louis being suspiciously quiet. Of course, Harry hadn’t said anything either so he supposed he was just as much to blame for the sudden awkwardness.

            After they were back inside, Harry turned to Louis, about to ask what he wanted to do next, and was alarmed to find that his face had grown paler and that he was wobbling on his feet, breaths coming rather short, eyes blinking rapidly.

            “Louis!” Harry exclaimed, gripping the other’s shoulders. “Come on. You’re going to pass out. You need to sit.”

            “Why is this happening?” Louis whined, voice higher pitched than normal, eyes wide with emotion. Harry knew that look; it was panic, and the pieces suddenly clicked. Niall sometimes had panic attacks growing up, and the symptoms were much the same. Well, okay, he usually got hot, not cold, but everyone was different, Harry supposed. It made sense, too, that Louis would have anxiety with everything going on. Well, Harry had practice with this, so Louis was in good hands.

            “You’re having a panic attack, Lou,” he said, realizing that had been the first time he’d used the other’s nickname. Oh well, that wasn’t of importance. “But you’ll be okay. Let’s sit you down and I’ll find you some water.”

            “I’m not having a panic attack, Harry!” Louis exclaimed. “I’m dying!”

            “I know it feels like that, but you’re not. It’s okay. You’re safe.”

            “Harry-”

            “Just breathe. Come on, there’s a couch over there that’s empty.”

            Putting a hand on Louis’s back, Harry led him over and had him sit with his back to the arm of the couch, knees drawn up to his chin.

            “I’m sorry,” he said as Harry took a seat by his feet. “This wasn’t how this night was supposed to go.”

            “Don’t apologize. It’s okay,” Harry assured him.

            “I’m a fucking disaster,” Louis said.

            “You’re not.”

            Louis didn’t argue; just buried his face into the front of his knees, arms wrapped tightly around them.

            “I’m going to get you some water and something for your head, alright?” Harry asked. Louis didn’t reply.

            “Lou?” Harry prompted, knowing better than to just walk away when he was like this.

            “I should have known better,” Louis said, lifting his head a bit to rest his chin on top of his knees and, finally, look at Harry. His eyes were still wide, but looked more sad than panicked now.

            “What do you mean?” Harry asked.

            “I can’t keep good things.”

            “Lou, you’re not making sense,” Harry said gently, moving slowly, carefully, to place a kiss on the other’s forehead. Miraculously, Louis didn’t flinch away.

            “Your head still hurt?”

            Louis nodded, still giving Harry the same, sad look. Harry didn’t think too much about it, though. Niall would get embarrassed and sulky after his panic attacks too. He was sure Louis would be fine, given a few minutes.

            “I’m sorry,” Louis apologized again.

            “Stop. You’re fine,” Harry said, gently and firmly at the same time. He stood then, and when he received no protest from Louis, made his way to find Stan. That task was easier said than done, though, and he was getting genuinely frustrated when he was approached by another man; a tall man with dark hair, tan skin, chocolate brown eyes, super white teeth...typical American frat boy material.

            “You need something, babe?” the stranger asked, not bothering to hide the fact that he was totally checking Harry out. Harry supposed he should be flattered, but wasn’t.

            “I’m looking for Stan,” Harry said. “Don’t know his last name.”

            “There’s only one Stan,” the guy said with a smile. “He’s a bit preoccupied with something at the moment. I’m sure I can help you, though.”

            “Do you have anything for a headache?” Harry asked. A strange look crossed frat boy’s face, but he smiled.

            “I don’t. I know someone who does though. Since you’re so cute, I’ll go get you some.”

            “Thanks,” Harry said, smiling though he was somewhat repulsed.

            “Sure, babe,” the man said, winking before heading off in the opposite direction. Once his back was turned, Harry rolled his eyes.

            “Here you go,” the guy said once he returned a couple minutes later, putting a couple small pills in his hand, his own touch lingering just a bit too long.

            “Thanks,” Harry said, sliding from the other’s touch and heading to the cooler to get Louis a bottle of water before going back to the man.

            “Thank you,” Louis said when he returned and handed over the medicine, immediately popping it into his mouth and chugging the drink.

            “You’re welcome,” Harry said. “How are you feeling?”

            “Better. Give me a few and we can get back out there.”

            “No rush.”

            Some color had already come back to Louis’s face, but as they sat there, his skin returned to almost its normal color and his breathing was regular again.

            “Okay, I’m good,” Louis said after a short bit, setting his empty bottle on the end table and standing slowly. “I’m done being a party pooper now. Come on.”

            “I’m just glad you’re feeling better,” Harry said, standing as well. Louis took his hand again, and they went to play Foosball, which Harry was also terrible at. Louis seemed to be having fun again, though, so Harry was too.

            For the next twenty or so minutes, it was like nothing happened; Louis being just as touchy and loud as at the beginning of the party, and Harry smiling until his cheeks hurt, but then Louis started to withdraw, his cheeks pink even though some color had drained from his face yet again.         

            “Everything okay?” Harry asked in his ear, touching his waist lightly.

            “I feel a little weird, actually,” Louis admitted. “I’ll be back.”

            “Hold on, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, frowning in concern. Maybe Louis really was getting sick on top of everything else.

            “Drank that water too fast, I think,” Louis said, wiping a hand across his sweaty forehead. Still, he had yet to remove Harry’s jacket.

            “Aww,” Harry basically cooed, and then cleared his throat. “I’ll come with you.”

            “It’s okay. I just need some air,” Louis said, breaking free from Harry’s grip. “Enjoy the party and I’ll be right back. I promise.”

            “Okay…,” Harry said reluctantly. “Come get me or text if you need anything.”

            Louis smiled, then turned to swerve through masses of bodies to get out. Harry sighed, wishing Louis would let him come along and make sure he was alright, but respecting his wishes to be alone.

            Deciding to get another drink for himself, Harry made his way back to the tables. Soon, he was approached by the man from earlier; the frat boy.

            “Hello again,” the stranger greeted with a smile.

            “Hey,” Harry said.

            “I didn’t get to ask you this before, but I’ve never seen you around. You new?”

            “I’m not a student,” Harry explained. “I came with Louis.”

            “Oh, Tommo! Yeah, he’s a good guy.”

            Harry nodded and there was a moment of quiet before the guy spoke again.

            “He’s still seeing that older guy, isn’t he?”

            “No,” Harry answered, a bit coldly. He added, “He’s not seeing anyone.”

            “No one? So you’re not his boyfriend?”

            “Not exactly,” Harry said, repeating Louis’s words from earlier.

            “Oh. You straight?”

            “No.”

            The guy smiled wider, but before he could say anything else, Harry spoke up.

            “Anyway, I better go check on Lou. He isn’t feeling well, so we will probably get going soon.”

            “Oh,” frat boy said, smile faltering a little. “Hey, that wasn’t who the headache medicine was for, was it?”

            “Yeah,” Harry said, and before anymore words could be exchanged, he hurried outside. He checked the front and then the back, but Louis was nowhere to be seen, so he must have made his way back inside already. Harry didn’t find him on the couch, though, nor near the Foosball table, ping pong table or anywhere else. Becoming more worried by the second, Harry wandered until he found the bathroom. The door was closed, but when he knocked, received no reply.

            “Hello?” he called. “Anyone in there? Lou?”

            There was still no answer, so Harry twisted the doorknob. It was unlocked.

            “Last chance before I come in,” Harry warned. Still, he was met with silence, so he opened the door. Part of him had expected to find Louis passed out on the floor, but that wasn’t the case. It may have made him a terrible person, but Harry kind of wished it had been. He’d been prepared to be afraid, and even perform CPR and call an ambulance if necessary, but he hadn’t been prepared for the hurt that came when he saw Louis pressed against the wall, head back and eyes closed as some guy sucked a bruise onto his neck.

            Louis’s eyes finally opened as the man turned to see who had dared enter-even with a warning-and disturb them, and they grew wide when he saw Harry standing there, staring at him, one hand twisted so tightly around the doorknob that it was cramping up.

            “Har-” Louis began, but was silenced when the other random guy shushed him, placing his lips on top of Louis’s. Louis grunted, but fell further back into the wall, one hand finding its way up to the man’s chest.

            “Wow,” was all Harry said, slamming the door behind him as he stormed out. He hesitated for a minute, trying to decide if he should wait for Louis to finish so he could scream at him, or if he should just call a cab to take him somewhere until Niall or Zayn could come pick him up.

            In the end, he decided on neither. Louis had known Harry had seen him and hadn’t even had the decency to come out and try to explain himself. In fact, he’d just kept on going like Harry wasn’t there, so obviously, he didn’t care. He was having the time of his life, so why shouldn’t Harry?

            Going back to the party, Harry located frat boy quickly.

            “Louis okay?” the student asked when he saw Harry approaching.

            “Who cares?” Harry responded, and then, knowing it was a bold move, locked their lips together, not even hesitating before shoving his tongue into the other’s mouth. Frat boy made a sound of pleasure and pulled Harry closer, so his bold move paid off, and soon, the pair was heading upstairs, still kissing while trying to find an empty room. Deep down, Harry hoped they didn’t, but he soon found himself lying on someone’s else’s bed, letting this guy whose name he didn’t even know undress him.        

            “So gorgeous,” the stranger breathed when he finally had Harry undressed.

            “Shut up,” Harry replied, kissing him again as he slipped the others’ shirt off. Luckily, his technique had not left him.

            Frat boy, of course, had an amazing body, and really was very attractive. Harry should be enjoying this a lot more than he was.

            But it wasn’t brown eyes that flashed in his mind the moment he finally finished.

            By the time Harry had returned to the main party, Louis had made his way back to the couch and passed out; apparently exhausted from his rendezvous.

            “Hey. Come on,” Harry said, shaking the other roughly. Louis groaned, opening his eyes and staring up at Harry with dilated eyes.

            “Harry,” he groaned, moving to a sitting position, yet barely able to keep his head up. Whatever he did had him trashed, and Harry didn’t even feel sorry for him that time.

            “Wow, Louis,” Harry sighed, other words seeing to fail him.

            “Don’t be mad,” Louis begged, attempting to stand but having no such luck.

            “Shut up and give me your keys,” Harry said. Louis searched his pockets clumsily until he finally came across them. Harry took them and threw Louis over his shoulder, eliciting another groan from the other man, and then headed back to the car. A few people stared, but Harry didn’t care. It was Louis who should be ashamed, not him.

            “Don’t feel good,” Louis whined once they reached the car and Harry set him in, not so gently.

            “Yeah, well, it’s your car and if you get sick, I’m not cleaning it up.”

            “Harry-”

            “Stop talking, Louis, please.”

            Louis obeyed, and it wasn’t long before he was unconscious.

            The drive home seemed to take ages longer than the drive there, and though Harry should have had time to cool off, he was still just as angry when he reached Louis’s house.

            “Louis, we’re at your place,” he said cooly, shaking him by the shoulder. He didn’t even move. “Come on, wake up!” Harry demanded, but Louis didn’t. Harry contemplated leaving him in the car, and though he really, really wanted to, he just couldn’t.

            Once he had Louis on top of his bed, he sent Niall a text asking him to tell his boyfriend that Louis wouldn’t be getting his sisters tonight, then called a cab and turned off his phone.

            Harry’s phone was still off the next afternoon. He didn’t want to explain to anyone what happened, and he certainly didn’t want to hear Louis’s sorry excuses. This whole thing had been a mistake. He’d known it from the beginning and still went for it anyway, trying to convince himself it was right, so he guessed he was partly to blame, but only a tiny bit.

            When evening started to roll around, and Harry had _almost_ convinced himself to get off the couch and eat or something, his doorbell rang. He thought about not answering, but with his phone off and him making no contact with anyone, he didn’t want someone to assume he’d been abducted and call the police or something equally as dramatic. So, reluctantly, he stomped over and swung open the door.

            “Hi,” Louis said, and Harry suddenly wished he’d used the peephole first.

            “What?” Harry asked, arms crossed as he stared down his nose at the other. To his pleasure, the smaller man shifted, clearly uncomfortable.

            “Um, your jacket,” Louis said, holding out the article of clothing that Harry had let him borrow. “I washed it.”

            Harry snatched the jacket away so quickly that Louis drew his hand back as if something had burned him.

            “Is that all?”

            “Uh… thanks for driving me home last night.”

            “I didn’t have much choice, did I?”

            Louis bit his lip, guilt evident in his eyes, but Harry wasn’t going to let him get to him. Not this time.

            “I promise that wasn’t how last night was supposed to go,” Louis said softly.

            “I should have known,” Harry said.

            “What do you mean?”

            Harry should stop talking now, he knew. He _really_ should, but he wasn’t so good at keeping quiet when he was angry-and, also, Louis was wearing a scarf, trying to hide the marks of what he’d done, and the scarf was all Harry could see. It was glaring up at him; mocking him, and so the words came tumbling out before his brain even had a chance to process them.

“That’s what I get for thinking I could change a whore.”

            “What did you call me?” Louis asked, crossing his arms then, face suddenly cold.

            “Just what you are,” Harry said, anger rising because how dare _Louis_ get an attitude with _him_. For a moment, the other guy said nothing; surprise, anger and sadness written on his face. Harry refused to feel guilty.

            “Okay then,” Louis said finally. “Well, I’m glad I know how you really feel, I guess, but I still think you should know-”

            “I don’t need to hear it,” Harry interrupted.

            “But, Harry-”

            “Stop,” Harry cut him off. “You know, I’m not even angry for _me_.”

            (That was a lie.)

            “But what about your sisters?”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I’m sure they loved staying with Liam last night because the only parent figure they have in their lives decided that getting high was more important.”

            The words were barely out of Harry’s mouth when he felt a sharp sting across his cheek. It actually took a moment to realize what had happened because it had happened so fast, but Louis had slapped him. He had legitimately slapped him, and like he meant it.

            Harry saw red, and everything in him wanted to hit back, harder, so why he didn’t, he wasn’t sure.

            “Leave,” he said instead, voice low, menacing.

            “Don’t worry, I am,” Louis said, not seeming threatened at all. “I’ll text you Peter’s number and after that, please delete mine.”

            “Who the hell is Peter?”

            “The guy you shagged last night.”

            “How do you know about that?”

            Harry shouldn’t care that Louis knew. After all, he had been in the bathroom doing God knew what with some guy, so Harry really hadn’t done any wrong. He did care, though, a little, and all of this anger was making him feel kind of sick.

            “He sent me a text this morning,” Louis said, getting out his phone and beginning to read. “‘Lou, sorry about the drugs, mate. When your friend asked for something for a headache, I didn’t know he actually meant something for a headache, ha. By the way, do you happen to have his number? They sure don’t fuck like that here at uni.’”

            “What…What does that mean?” Harry asked, definitely feeling sick now. His head was spinning.

            “I’m assuming it means Peter finds you really good in bed,” Louis said, voice laced with sarcasm. Harry shook his head.

            “Not that. The first part.”

            “That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier, but you don’t want to hear it, so I best be on my way.”

            “Louis,” Harry said, grabbing onto the other’s arm as he began to walk away. Louis jerked away.

            “Don’t touch me!”

            “Tell me what happened.”

            “I tried.”

            “Will you stop being so stubborn?! I’m listening now, so what the fuck happened?”

            “The Advil you got me wasn’t Advil,” Louis said. “I was trying to get away from that horny bloke in the bathroom, but I was too out of it. Do you actually think I would invite _you_ if I had been planning on hooking up with some random dude?”

            “You were trying to get away?” Harry repeated. “Oh God, what did he do?”

            “Nothing more than what you saw,” Louis said.

            “Okay, good. I mean, kind of. But I’m sorry.”

            Harry meant it.

            “I guess I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, and I should have paid attention to what I was giving you.”

            “It’s okay. I would have thought the same thing, and I didn’t pay attention to what I was taking either. I’m just as much to blame on that. But today, what you said, is _not_ okay.”

            “Louis, wait,” Harry tried as Louis began heading to his car again. “I was upset. I didn’t mean it.”

            “I think you did,” Louis said, getting into his car and slamming the door. Harry rushed over, glad the window was down. He put his hands on the ledge, supporting himself and preventing Louis from easily driving away too.

            “No, I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

            “Delete my number, Harry.”

            “I don’t want to delete your number.”

            “Fine, but don’t use it.”

            “Louis, don’t be like this.”

            “I just…I can’t deal with this shit, Harry. Get off my car.”

            There were so many things Harry wanted to say, but nothing coherent would form in his mind. He just wanted to make Louis stay.

            “Are you okay?” he finally asked. “You know, from…whatever you took?”

            “I’m fine, thank you for asking, but I would be a lot better if you got off my car.”

            “Louis-”

            “Get off my car!”

            Harry did, quite taken aback by the hysteria in the other’s voice. Louis blinked a few times and licked his lips, seeming on the verge of tears, but before Harry could think of something to say to make it better-if there was anything-Louis was backing out of the driveway.

            Harry didn’t watch his car drive off. He stormed back inside, on the verge of tears himself; angry tears, though, and nothing else.

            The first thing he saw when he re-entered his house was, of course, the bouquet of flowers he’d bought for Louis. Because why wouldn’t it be?

            Sniffling-he was not going to cry-he threw his jacket onto the ground, picked up the flowers and tossed them into the trash, vase and all.

***

            When he finally turned on his phone later that night, long after he’d taken his position on the couch back and fallen into a fitful sleep for a little while, he had a couple texts from Louis, from before he’d come over. The first read, “Sorry about last night, I can explain :( Call me?” and the second “Hey, you okay?”

            There were a handful of texts from Niall as well. The first few were in response to Harry’s message the previous night, asking what happened and if everyone was okay. The later ones, from just an hour or so ago, were much less friendly, going from ‘what happened?’ to ‘wtf did you do?’ Harry ignored them.

            Just as he was about to put his phone back down, it vibrated. It was another message from Louis; Peter’s number, as promised.

            _Be careful_ , he’d typed as a warning. _He’s a major douchebag._

Then, after that, he sent one more, reading,

            _Actually you two would be a great couple. Best of luck._

That, finally, got to Harry. He’d messed up, he knew that, but he felt bad about it, and Louis didn’t need to be so harsh. He let himself cry, but only because he was angry and crying was a healthier outlet than, say, punching a wall. Or a person. It wasn’t that the words had hurt him, of course, but…

            Okay, the words hurt him. After being so careful to not let anyone hurt him again, Harry had let his guard down just enough to allow some guy that reminded him too much of all the things he hated about himself barge in and destroy everything he thought he knew about what he wanted out of life.

            For the first time in a long time, Harry hated his too-big, empty house. He hated his ridiculous wardrobe, his fancy car and he hated himself for driving away the one thing he wanted every single time it got close. Maybe it was a bit over zealous to say whatever Louis had was leading to that, to love, but Harry knew that feeling, and he’d felt it strongly. And though he’d done everything opposite of what he usually did; keeping himself nearly distant, not giving away everything he had, not dreaming of a forever that would never happen, he’d still ended up in the same position he’d been in too many times before.

            “Never again,” Harry muttered, scrolling through his phone to find Louis’s contact information, finger hovering over the red, angry, words, ‘delete contact.’ “I mean it this time, never again.”

            He wasn’t sure how long he actually stared at his phone, trying to tell himself that, damn it, pressing the button shouldn’t be that hard, but it was much too long, and, finally, he backed out of Louis’s information, found Zayn’s instead and typed out, _Come over, bring the booze, ask no questions. You owe me._

 _Okay :)_ _,_ Zayn replied, and Harry silently thanked him for not even asking why he owed him. He had friends that sort of loved him, at least, and that would have to do since that was all he would ever get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been nervous for this chapter since I outlined it, which was before I even started posting, so please don't hate me XD I rewrote this many times and, believe it or not, posted the least angst-y version, because I love you guys and ladies, haha. But seriously. O:)
> 
> And since I did edit it so much, all four times I proof-read it, it is possible that I screwed something up (though I was careful to TRY and catch everything) so if I did miss something, don't be afraid to be all, "Hey, Jamie, you dumbo, you might want to fix this." :)
> 
> Alright, that's it. Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more tag was added (the very last one). Sorry again! I've been reconstructing my outline, but I think the changes are positive (even if they don't sound like it) (:

            Harry never used Peter’s number. In fact, he deleted the message from his phone, so he couldn’t even if he’d wanted to, but he knew he wouldn’t.

            For a few days, Harry let himself lounge around and drink his feelings away, berating himself for being pathetic. It wasn’t like he really had anything to feel sorry for himself over. He and Louis were over, yeah, but they’d never really begun. He still felt bad for the things he’d said, but he couldn’t take them back. Time would pass, Louis would get over it, and over him, and someday, Harry would too.

            Or he hoped.

            Eventually, he pulled himself off the couch for more than ten minutes. He stopped drinking so much and replaying that day over and over in his mind. He went out with Zayn and Niall and, though he expected things with the latter friend to be awkward, they weren’t. Niall didn’t ask for details and somehow managed to refrain from talking about Liam, except for when Harry asked. Life went on, as it always did.

***

            Though Harry didn’t use Peter’s number, he wasn’t completely out of the dating game. Erick, the guy from Zayn and Perrie’s wedding whom he’d danced with, got his number from the bride and made contact. He apologized for it taking so long, said he had to work up the courage and asked if he would like to go out with him sometime. Harry agreed.

            It wasn’t that the date was bad. They went to the same restaurant Harry had taken Louis to (life was a bitch) and it was nice. It wasn’t Erick’s fault that the food and wine didn’t taste as good that time. It was on Harry that the guy sitting across from him couldn’t make him feel as good as Louis had.

***

            “You haven’t called in a while.”

            “I know, mum. I’m sorry.”

            “That’s alright. I’m sure you’ve been busy with Louis!”

            By the tone of her voice, Harry could tell she was smiling, and he suddenly felt all of those negative emotions rising up in him.

            “Actually, we’re not seeing each other anymore,” Harry said, not mentioning that they hadn’t in almost three weeks.

            “What?! Oh, Harry, what happened?”

            “He’s a prick,” Harry said, but the words tasted sour on his tongue and he shook his head, trying to make them go away. “No, actually, he’s not,” he added with a sigh. “I fucked up.”

            After explaining what happened, Harry fully expected the woman to scold him; tell him how wrong he’d been, but she didn’t.

            “Maybe you two really are just from different worlds,” she’d said. Harry wished she’d yelled at him.

***

            There were several occasions in which Harry almost called Louis. He didn’t know what he would say, though, besides that he was sorry, but he’d said that already and it had done no good. Louis wanted him out of his life, so Harry stayed out. He owed him that.

            Summer came and, as it always did, began drawing to a close much too fast. Nothing really changed. He saw Erick sometimes, but he guessed that it was obvious he wasn’t all that into him because the texts and phone calls came fewer and farther apart before over a whole week passed with no contact and Harry assumed he was out of his life. That was fine, though; more than fine.

            Admittedly, Harry was starting to get bored, and was looking up different universities, considering maybe starting in the winter term, when his phone rang. He was glad for the interruption because all he could see as he scrolled through page after page were frat boys and drugs that weren’t Advil.

            “Hey, Niall!” he answered the call.

            “Hey. You sound a little too excited to hear from me. Everything okay?”

            “Yeah, everything’s fine,” Harry assured him, closing his laptop. “What’s going on?”

            “Not much. Just called to see if you had any plans for Saturday.”

            “Of course not, Niall. Don’t you know who I am?”

            The other man laughed. “Well, you could have a date with that guy. I don’t know.”

            “No, I think we’re done seeing each other.”

            “Aw, shit, mate. I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t be. It’s quite alright. Anyways, what’s going on Saturday?”

            “I’m having a party; kind of an early birthday party for Liam since we’ll be gone for his actual birthday.”

            “Ah, yes. The Paris trip. You, my friend, are a sap.”

            Niall had decided at the beginning of summer that there would be no better way to spend his boyfriend’s birthday than in the romantic city of Paris, probably kissing on top of the Eiffel Tower or something equally as cliché. He’d even gotten a second job to pay for it.

            “Yeah, yeah,” the guy said from the other line. “Anyways, you wanna come?”

            “To Paris?”

            “No, to the party Saturday, you idiot.”

            Harry smiled. He’d known what Niall had meant, but Harry wouldn’t be Harry if he didn’t make everyone’s lives just a little more difficult.

            “I’m sure Liam doesn’t want me there,” Harry said. “I know you said he’s cool with me, but that’s only because he doesn’t have to see me and probably pretends I don’t exist.”

            “He doesn’t care,” Niall said. “I already asked.”

            “Okay, but I’m pretty sure Louis will be there and I know he can’t be eager to see me.”

            “He’ll be there with his boyfriend, so I don’t think he’ll really care about running into someone who he went on two dates with.”

            “Louis has a boyfriend?”

            “Yes…but you did too.”

            “He wasn’t my boyfriend, and I wasn’t meaning anything by it.”

            Harry truly wasn’t surprised. Someone like Louis would never be single too long, Harry knew, and he also knew he should be happy for the other guy, but he couldn’t be.

            “I’m not expecting you to come,” Niall said, “but you’re invited anyway. It’s at my place and starts at one.”

            Harry didn’t intend to go. That was awkwardness that he just didn’t need, but the party stayed on his mind all week. It would be maybe his last chance to see Louis and make things better, and even if it didn’t lead to reconciliation, maybe they could at least make amends and Harry would finally have peace of mind. However, if it did lead to reconciliation, so be it. Louis had a boyfriend now, Niall had said, but that didn’t mean much. Louis could be doing what Harry was doing; dating to pass the time.

            It wasn’t that Harry was so conceited as to think Louis was still pining for him, but he could still hope, and he did.

            And that was why he ended up on Niall’s doorstep Saturday at one fifteen, completely unprepared for everything.

            “Harry!” Niall said, clearly surprised to see him when he opened the door. “Glad you came! We’re all out back. I just came in to get more drinks. Come in.”

            “Was I supposed to bring a gift?” Harry asked as he stepped inside.

            “No, of course not. It’s more of a get-together than a birthday party anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

            “Okay.”

            Harry helped Niall fill his portable cooler and carry it outside. His eyes scanned the area, but so far, he didn’t see any sign of Louis. He hoped he hadn’t found out he was possibly coming and bailed, but he wasn’t going to ask.

            “Happy early birthday,” Harry said to Liam as they approached, smiling nervously. He was sure the man knew everything that had happened between Harry and Louis, and he couldn’t be too thrilled at Harry’s presence, despite what Niall said.

            “Thank you,” Liam said, his own smile polite as he accepted a can of beer that Niall had brought for him. “How have you been?”

            “Alright,” Harry answered. “Not much going on in my life. How about you?”

            “I’ve been good. Great,” Liam said, smile growing as Niall sat on his lap even though there were several empty chairs available.

            Harry wanted to ask how Louis was. He felt a bit of pride in the fact that he didn’t.

            “Lou’s on his way,” Niall told Liam. “He sent me a text while I was inside, so he should be here soon.”

            “Oh, good,” Liam said, face brightening up. “Is _he_ coming too?”

            “Of course,” Niall answered, not sounding too thrilled.

            “Yaaaay,” Liam said sarcastically, but then smiled again and gave Niall a kiss on the lips. Niall kissed him back, then Liam again, back to Niall, and Harry took that moment to sneak away.

            To his relief, he soon came across Zayn and Perrie, and made a nuisance of himself by sticking around them. They didn’t seem to mind too much, though, and kept him distracted enough so that he didn’t even notice when Louis arrived. He was grateful for that, in a way, but it also left him (un?)pleasantly surprised when he backed out of someone’s way so they could get a drink and bumped right into someone else; that someone being Louis.

            “Oh, sorry!” Harry apologized before he even knew who he’d run into, turning quickly around and coming face-to-face with the other man. “Oh,” he said again. “Hi.”

            “Hi,” Louis said back, smiling pleasantly.

            _Alright, Harry. This is your chance,_ Harry thought to himself. _He’s not screaming at you or running away. Talk to him._

            “Um…,” was all Harry’s mouth seemed able to say. He mentally slapped himself.

            “Yeah,” Louis agreed, perhaps in virtually the same boat. Neither moved away, though, or even looked away, even when Zayn cleared his throat awkwardly.

            “So…,” Louis tried.

            “Exactly,” Harry said, and, what? Finally they were rescued (though Harry wasn’t quite sure he wanted to be) by a man Harry didn’t know approaching and drawing Louis’s attention away.

            “Hey, babe. There you are,” the man said. This must be the boyfriend, Harry concluded, and took that time to subtly give him the once-over. The man was okay looking, Harry supposed. In his late twenties to early thirties, he was tall and super thin, his pitch black hair contrasting with his pale skin, and on some people that worked, but not so much on this guy. His eyes were brown and beady, his nose a bit too long. He didn’t deserve Louis.

            Normally, Harry would feel bad because he could be a dick, because he wasn’t shallow like that, but he knew he wasn’t actually being shallow; just jealous and if it made him feel at all better, so be it.

            “Oh, hey!” Louis said, trying to sound excited, but not quite making it.

            “Are you okay?” the boyfriend asked, squeezing Louis’s shoulder and looking genuinely concerned.

            “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Louis asked. The guy raised an eyebrow, but didn’t answer.

            “Do you want to eat?” he asked instead.

            “Okay,” Louis agreed, heading towards Niall, who was finishing up on the grill. The man followed, looking a bit annoyed then, and Harry sighed, turning again to face Zayn and Perrie, who were staring, tense. Harry smiled.

            “What?” he asked as if nothing had happened.

            “Nothing,” Perrie said, smiling a bit in return, yet patting Harry’s arm in what felt like sympathy.

            “Yeah, nothing except for that was fifty shades of awkward,” Zayn commented, not so quick to pretend as the others.

            “It wasn’t,” Harry lied, getting into the cooler and grabbing a can of beer. “Food time?”

            The three sat far away from Louis and his boyfriend, who were seated by Liam, Niall and someone else Harry didn’t know, and Harry tried his best not to stare, but his best still resulted in failure.

            Louis seemed happy enough, for the most part. He didn’t do much of the talking, but he was usually smiling or laughing, running a hand through his hair as he did. Sometimes, though, when everyone got involved in a conversation and wasn’t paying him attention, the smile would drop off his face and he would stare at his lap until Liam touched his leg and Louis would look back up, smile and nod, and go on with the charade.

            Harry wanted to take him away from there, just have it be the two of them, and make him _really_ smile.

            Zayn and Perrie left soon after eating, because apparently they hated Harry, and Harry thought about leaving too, but couldn’t bring himself to do it quite yet. Which meant he was stuck talking to Liam and Niall unless he wanted to sit and stare at Louis all alone like a creep. Admittedly, he was already being a bit of a creep, but not that bad, so the minute Louis and his boyfriend left the group to go play football with some others, Harry approached.

            He didn’t mind talking to Liam and Niall, of course. Liam had yet to be anything but the polite ray of sunshine he was, and when Harry asked if he was ready for the Paris trip, he beamed and went on about the plans they had made and places they were going to visit (although how he was going to top this for Niall’s birthday now, he didn’t know.)  Harry was happy for them and listened with genuine interest.

            About an hour or so later, Louis and his boyfriend returned and Harry was just about to make an excuse to walk away when Louis sighed loudly, putting his arms around Liam’s neck from behind and kissing his cheek. Liam turned his head, smiling.

            “Hello again!”

            “Hi,” Louis said, “and bye. We’re getting ready to leave.”

            “Oh, okay,” Liam said. “I’ll see you sometime before next Sunday, right?”

            Louis began saying something, but Harry’s attention was drawn from their conversation, which frankly didn’t involve him anyway, when he felt a pair of eyes staring at him. He quickly discovered them to be the boyfriend’s beady brown ones.

            “I think I’ve met everyone here except you,” he said the moment Harry’s own eyes met his. “We weren’t introduced earlier.”

            Everyone grew silent then, and Harry wished they would stop staring. He had expected the day to be awkward, but surely it needn’t be this uncomfortable.

            Louis cleared his throat.

            “Billy, that’s Harry; Harry, Billy,” he said quickly, and turned back to Liam, but Harry interrupted.

            “Wait, Billy?” he said, a bit too loudly. “As in your ex-fiancé, Billy?!”

            “How do you know about that?” Louis asked, face contorted with some expression that Harry couldn’t quite read.

            “Kelsey told me about him. Louis, are you crazy?! Have you lost your damn mind?!”

            “Harry!” Louis exclaimed, standing upright. “Can I talk to you out front, please?”

            Without waiting for a response, Louis marched away. Harry followed, Billy glaring daggers into the back of his head, he was sure of it.

            “What in the hell makes you think you have the right-”

            “I’m sorry,” Harry interrupted again, “but you can do much better than _that_.”

            “Not many people want to date a whore with two children he’s doing a pretty shitty job of raising,” Louis said, arms crossed and face stony.

            “Let it go,” Harry said. “Grudges will give you wrinkles.”

            Louis shot daggers out of his eyes that time, so Harry softened his tone.

            “I know your sisters are your number one priority, okay, and I’m sorry for all the shit that I said, I really am, but Billy doesn’t want them; he doesn’t want your family.”

            “He changed.”

            “How do you know?”

            “Because…because I just do!”

            “How?”

            Louis sighed, not looking at Harry anymore.

            “We’re getting married.”

            The words hit Harry heavily, but he didn’t let it show.

            “That didn’t stop him from walking away last time,” he pointed out.

            “It’s different this time,” Louis insisted.

            “But _how_ , Louis? How do you know this won’t end exactly the same way?”

            “Because…he’s getting custody of the kids.”

            “What?” Harry asked, suddenly wishing he’d never said anything at all if it was going to lead to this conversation. “He’s adopting them?”

            “Yes.”

            “Oh.”

            Tears poked his eyes and Harry swallowed hard. He was humiliated enough. There was no reason everyone needed to see his heart break.

            “Well, congrats then.”

            “Thank you,” Louis choked, and Harry was alarmed to see that he looked on the verge of tears himself, but before he could ask what was wrong, the front door opened and both looked to see Billy approaching.

            “You okay, love?” he asked his _fiancé_ , putting an arm around his waist.

            “I’m tired,” Louis said. “Can we go?”

            “Of course, babe.”

            Billy led Louis to the car, Louis only looking back at Harry right before getting into the passenger seat.

“Bye, Harry.”

            “Bye.”

            That wasn’t at all what Harry wanted to say to him, but he seemed to have no choice.

            Refusing to watch Louis drive away again-or, more accurately, watch that man drive him away-Harry stormed around back again. Liam and Niall were visibly nervous as they watched Harry approach.

            “When is their wedding?!” he demanded. Neither said anything. “When is it?!”

            “A week from tomorrow,” Niall answered quietly.

            “That soon?!”

            “Well, I mean, they don’t really know how much time they have to waste, do they?”

            “What does _that_ mean?!”

            Niall’s face, already anxious, dropped, and he stared at Harry, fish-mouthing.

            “Oh boy,” Liam finally said.

            “Babe, give us a few minutes, please,” Niall said, patting Liam’s knee before standing and gesturing Harry to follow him inside.

            “So Louis didn’t tell you?” he asked once the two were locked in his bedroom.

            “He told me he was getting married, but not that soon!”

            “No,” Niall said, shaking his head quickly. “He didn’t tell you that he’s sick?”

            “No, but what does that have to do with anything?’”

            “Because he’s _really_ sick, Harry.”

            An uneasy feeling settled in Harry’s stomach.

            “What do you mean?”

            “He has cancer. A type of leukemia.”

            Niall said it so casually that this must be some twisted joke, and Harry gaped at him.  

            “Don’t kid about that stuff, Niall, what is wrong with you?!” Harry asked, voice quivering a bit.

            “I’m not kidding, Harry,” Niall sighed, though he seemed sad, not angry. “Wish I was.”

            “Louis doesn’t have cancer.”

            “He does. I’m sorry.”

            “No.”

            “I’m sorry,” Niall repeated. Harry suddenly felt dizzy and sat on Niall’s bed.

            “When did he find out?”

            “A while ago, right after you two stopped talking and everything.”

            Harry gaped again. That had been almost three months ago! There was no way…

            “He looks good, though,” Harry said. “He doesn’t look sick.”

            “Some days are better than others, of course.”

            “But, I mean, he still looks like Louis…He’s handling treatments well then?”

            Niall shifted on the balls of his feet.

            “He’s, um, he’s not doing treatments.”

            “And why not?!”

            “He didn’t think his chance of survival was good enough and he didn’t want the girls to see him like that or spend the money. He wants Kelsey and Lily to have some when he’s…”

            “He’s not dying,” Harry said, and added, “I don’t trust Billy.”

            “I don’t either, fully, but Louis doesn’t have much choice, I guess.”

            “He has me,” Harry argued. Niall looked at him as if he had gone slightly mental.

            “I don’t think that can happen with everything…”

            “Yes it can. I won’t let the girls go to that ass hole, and I won’t let Louis die!”

            “Harry, come here!” Niall called as his friend stood from the bed and marched defiantly out the door. Harry ignored him.

            _Cancer_ , he repeated in his mind as he drove. Harry wasn’t stupid. He knew how serious cancer was. It had been what killed his father, so he knew its dangers, but those dangers couldn’t touch Louis. They just couldn’t.

            Harry felt sicker. Niall said Louis found out after the fight with Harry, but how long had he actually had it? Was that why he never really could eat a lot? Or why he got so dizzy sometimes? Or why he was cold even when it was hot? Or had he really known it all along, and that was also why he said he was _dying_?

            “You’re not dying,” Harry said out loud, though Louis, of course, was nowhere around. Still, he said it because it was the truth. It had to be.

            When Harry arrived at Louis’s house and found himself waiting on the front step for someone to answer the door, he wondered if this was a mistake. Louis was getting married. What if Billy answered the door? What would Harry say? What would he say if _Louis_ answered?

            Neither of those two answered, to Harry’s relief. It was Kelsey who opened the door, and a wide smile broke across her face when she saw who was on the other side.

            “Harry!” she exclaimed, surprising the man by hugging him around the middle.

            “Hey, Kelsey,” Harry said, knowing better than to not hug a child back. “How have you been?”

            “I’m okay. Did you come to see Louis?”

            “I did, actually,” Harry said. He had to see Louis. He had to see that he was okay. Because he was okay. He had to be.

            “He’s sleeping, but I can wake him up if you want.”

            “Oh, no, that’s okay,” Harry said, heart falling a little. “I’ll just…I’ll get in touch with him later.”

            “You can come in and wait,” she offered. “He’ll be waking up soon for Lily’s five o’ clock feeding.”

            “Is Billy here?” Harry asked, glancing over the top of the girl’s head.

            “No.”

            _Nice,_ Harry thought sarcastically. _Just leave your sick, tired fiancé alone with two children. It’s cool._

            “Do you know when he’ll be back?”

            “No time tonight.”

            “Oh. Okay. Then, yeah, I’ll come in. Thanks.”

            Kelsey smiled as she stepped back to let Harry enter.

            “Hey, Kelsey, do you think you could quietly go in and turn Louis’s alarm off? I’ll take care of dinner.”

            “Okay,” the girl said, heading towards the back of the house. Checking his watch, Harry saw that he had just about a half an hour before Lily’s feeding. In the meantime, he decided he might as well make himself as comfortable as he could and went into the living room, where Lily was standing in her playpen, holding onto the edge and looking curious as to why no one had come to pay attention to her yet.

            “Hey, kid!” Harry said, smiling animatedly at the baby. “Do you remember me?”

            He doubted she did, but that didn’t stop her from smiling and cooing as Harry picked her up and set her on his hip. She’d gotten so big. It was crazy to Harry how much had changed in just a few months.

            “Sorry it took so long,” Kelsey apologized when she joined Harry and her sister a few minutes later. “Louis was awake and wanted to know who was at the door. I told him just someone playing ding-dong ditch so he wouldn’t get up, and then I waited for him to fall asleep again so I could turn off his alarm.”

            “Good job. That was a good idea,” Harry complimented.

            For the next few minutes, Kelsey and Harry played with the baby, using a blanket to cover their faces until Lily pulled it off and then laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. Just when she started to get really loud and Harry was afraid that she would wake her brother, he checked his watch and saw that it was quarter after five.

            “We better get you some food before you get fussy, huh?” he asked, standing and lifting the baby with him.

            “Ooh-ooh,” Lily responded.

            “Ooh-ooh? Is that so?” Harry asked.

            “I think it’s how she says Lou-Lou,” Kelsey said.

            “Got it,” Harry noted. “Lou-Lou will be out soon, but Harry and Kelsey will feed you, okay?”

            Louis already had something prepared for her, in case she happened to get hungry before he woke and Kelsey decided to feed her, the girl had said, so Harry heated the food, checked the temperature thoroughly and then settled himself by the high chair.

            Though Lily made grabby hands at the food, she was not very cooperative as Harry tried to give it to her, finding it more satisfying to turn her cheek last minute and let Harry smear mashed potatoes all over her cheek, and then laugh at him.

            “I am terrible at this!” Harry sighed, exasperated, but smiling.

            “She always does this,” Kelsey assured him, also smiling. “She’ll stop in a few minutes when she realizes she’s hungry.”

            “What do you want for dinner?” Harry asked.

            “Can we order pizza?”

            “Sure, that’s fine.”

            “I’ll call, okay?”

            “Okay. Get whatever kind you’d like.”

            “I’ll get Louis’s favorite,” she said. “Then maybe he’ll eat.”

            Harry frowned, but caught himself quickly and put the smile back on his face as he attempted to get another spoonful of potatoes into the baby instead of on her.

            He had meant to keep a look out for the pizza delivery person when the arrival time grew close so he could get to the door and prevent the bell from being rung, but he got distracted by whatever tween movie Kelsey had put on and, soon, the loud sound of the bell vibrated off the walls.

            “Shi…oot,” Harry said, standing and hurrying to the door. He almost thought they were safe, but after he’d finished paying and closed the door, he turned to see Louis standing there staring at him.

            “Hi,” Harry tried.

            “What’s going on?” Louis asked, voice still hoarse from sleep. It was then that Harry was able to see a noticeable change in the man. He was a bit thinner, face not as tan or bright as it had been, and Harry felt bad for not noticing before, but Louis was still beautiful. He was so beautiful, and Harry wanted to kiss him, but it looked as if Louis was about to kill him, so he decided it was best not to attempt that.

            “Dinner,” Harry answered the other’s question simply. “Want some? Kelsey ordered your favorite.”

            “Harry, what are you doing here?”

            “What your fiancé should be,” Harry said unapologetically. As he figured, Louis crossed his arms, giving Harry _that_ look. “Pizza,” he mumbled, making his way to the kitchen. After a brief hesitation, Louis followed.

            “Hi, Louis!” Kelsey greeted as she climbed on top of the counter to grab some paper plates. “Are you feeling better?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Louis said, arms still crossed as he watched her hop down with no sense of danger whatsoever.

            “Good. You should try to eat something. Are you cold? I’ll get your jacket.”

            “I’ll get it,” Louis said, disappearing around the corner.

            “Good,” Kelsey said to no one in particular as she placed one piece of pizza on Louis’s plate and two on her own. She told Harry he should get some as well, so he did; just one piece.

            As they ate, Kelsey told Harry all about her summer adventures with her best friend, Mackenzie, and Harry’s heart swelled at Louis somehow managing to find time and money to let his sister keep her childhood.

            “It sounds like you had a fun summer,” Harry commented once he thought her stories were done. “There’s only one thing missing.”

            “What?” she asked, taking a big bite of pizza and smearing some sauce across her upper lip.

            “The zoo,” Harry answered.

            “Yeah!” the girl exclaimed, eyes wide like she forgot such a thing existed.

            “We should go,” Harry said, moving his gaze to Louis. “Do you want to go to the zoo?”

            Louis just stared.

            “I know you’re busy with the wedding and all, but-” Harry started, but was interrupted by a groan from Kelsey.

            “Eww, the wedding!”

            “Kelsey,” Louis warned. She ignored him, looking over at Harry.

            “He’s only getting married because he thinks he’s dying, but he’s not.”

            “Kelsey!”

            The girl gave her brother _the hand_ , and he pursed his lips.

            “Bad things come in threes, right?” she asked. “Spot died, mummy died and dad basically died, so there! That’s three. You can’t die. It’s physics.”

            “Was Spot a pet?” Harry asked, trying to distract Kelsey from the fact that her brother very noticeably teared up.

            “Yeah, he was our dog that died that I kind of told you about, remember? Do you want to see a picture?”

            “I do remember, and I would like to see a picture.”

            Kelsey hopped down from her chair then, running off to, presumably, find a photo of Spot. Once Harry was sure she was out of earshot, he looked back at Louis.

            “I don’t think you should marry him.”

            He knew it wasn’t his place to say anything, and expected Louis to argue or tell him to leave or something, but he stayed silent.

            “Found it!” Kelsey announced as she ran back into the room. “Louis got him when he was little, the first time he was really sick, so ignore his baldness.”

            She slapped not one photograph, but a whole album full of pictures of Spot in front of Harry and began flipping through the pages. Louis was definitely sick in the beginning pictures, at first getting paler and skinnier the more he flipped through. He was always smiling, though, arms wrapped around the dog like he was the best gift he’d ever received. Maybe he had been.

             The further along they got, the more weight Louis put back on. His hair had started growing back, and he looked tan again. The smile stayed.

            _He can get better,_ Harry thought, which he had already been telling himself, but actually seeing the proof sent a bit of relief coursing through him.

            “Those were adorable,” Harry commented when they reached the end and Kelsey closed the album, holding it close to her chest. He added, teasingly,“Spot it such a unique name, Louis. However did you come up with it?

            “Shut up,” Louis said, and Harry felt pride that he’d made him laugh a little bit. “I was six.”

            “He didn’t even have a spot on him.”

            “Again, I was six. My naming skills have improved since then.”

            “If you insist.”

            “I named Lily.”

            “That’s a great name,” Harry agreed. “Even if it does rhyme with Billy.”

            Kelsey laughed loudly and Louis tried to glare, but the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

            “Total coincidence.”

            “Uh-huh.”

            “Lilies were our mum’s favorite flower.”

            “Oh,” Harry said, sobering up quickly. “I’m sorry. I was just messing with you. I’m sorry.”

            Louis rolled his eyes, standing up and gathering the empty plates. “Don’t get so serious.”

            “Are you staying longer, Harry?” Kelsey asked as Louis went to throw the plates away and put the glasses in the sink.

            “I don’t know,” Harry said. “Your brother might want to get back to bed.”

            “I’m sick, not an old man,” Louis said. “I only require one nap a day, thank you.”

            Harry smiled and Louis returned it, a little.

            “Great!” Kelsey said. “I’ll go find a game for us to play.”

            She ran off again, and it was Louis’s turn to speak up this time.

            “How did you know anyway? _Did_ you know, before Kelsey?”

            “About you being a bit under the weather?”

            “Yeah,” Louis snorted. “A bit.”

            “Niall. He just told me today.”

            “Why did he tell you?”

            “Why didn’t you?”

            “Why would I?”

            Harry tried to come up with a good response to that, but couldn’t, so he nodded.

            “Please do treatments,” he tried. “I’ll pay for them.”

            “No!”

            “Why not?”

            “Well, first off, I would never let you pay for that even if I was doing them, but I’m not. I’m not letting my sisters’ final memories of me be when I’m a vomiting skeleton.”

            “Those wouldn’t be their final memories because you would get better.”

            “Unlikely.”

            “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

            “Even if I did recover, it would just come back later. It’s a losing battle, Harry.”

            Harry didn’t have a chance to, again, tell Louis that he didn’t know that and it was at least worth a try, because Kelsey came back, holding the game Twister in her hands and looking rather excited.

            “Can you play this, Lou?” she made sure to ask.

            “I’ll do the spinner,” Louis said, reaching out for the box as he smiled at his little sister. “Let’s go get it set up in the living room.”

            Harry picked Lily up from the floor and followed the other two, only setting the baby down when it was time to play.

            Though they had surrounded Lily with her own toys, she was much more interested in what the other two were doing and kept crawling onto the mat, forcing Louis to keep getting up and moving her. It was probably exhausting him, Harry knew, and he was about to ‘fall’ off the mat so that he would lose and then suggest a new game when Lily, once again, made her way to investigate the others’ shenanigans. Harry was in quite a complicated position-basically standing on his head-and the baby went right up to his face, giving him a strange look as if to ask him if needed a hand or had simply lost his mind. It was pretty comical, and Harry couldn’t help but laugh. That made Lily laugh, thus causing everyone else to laugh, and Harry soon found himself falling backwards, away from the children. Kelsey found that very amusing, but Lily crawled over to make sure he was okay. Her way of doing that was, apparently, to hit him in the face.

            “Lily!” Louis said, standing again to pick up the baby, still giggling a bit. From his place on the floor, Harry gave him a small smile-he hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that laugh-and Louis returned it again briefly before putting his forehead against Lily’s and letting her explore his face. Kelsey came over to lay on the floor next to Harry. All were content, and Harry thought that, just maybe, this was what an actual family should feel like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the part where I'm hoping everyone had read my original tags before getting involved with the story, but if not, I'm sorry. Once again (last time I'll say this, I promise; I know I'm annoying), just let me know if you would like to be told in advance of Louis's outcome. 
> 
> Also, I promise there won't be much Billy/Louis and there will be a lot more Harry/Louis than there has been. Billy/Louis are NOT endgame, I will say that :)
> 
> I would also just like to note that I realize a lot of questions are, as of now, unanswered, but they will be! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading <3


	9. Chapter 9

                It was hard for Harry to fall asleep that night. The day had been a whirlwind, taking his emotions on the biggest roller coaster of his life, but now that he was lying in bed, trying to turn them all off and get a few hours of peace, he felt only one thing; fear. He wanted to believe the things he’d told himself; that Louis would be fine, but he wasn’t stupid. Cancer wouldn’t just go away on its own without Louis even fighting it. _Why wasn’t he fighting it?_

            The last time Harry looked at his clock before finally falling asleep, it was three AM. He slept restlessly, and woke in a sweat when his phone started going off. Looking at the clock then, he saw that it was after noon. He’d been tossing and turning for over eight hours, and his sore back felt it, too.

            By the time Harry realized that maybe he should answer his ringing phone, it had stopped and gone to voicemail. No matter. It was probably just Niall or his mom. He would call them back after he got a shower and maybe ate something. He wasn’t quite sure about that last one yet.

            He ended up forgetting about the phone call until later, when his cell rang again. Caller ID said it was Niall.

            “Hey.”

            “Hey. What’s up?”

            “Not much. Sorry I didn’t answer your call earlier.”

            “Huh? I didn’t call earlier.”

            “Oh,” Harry said. “Someone did and I forgot to check who, so since you’re calling now, I just assumed…Must have been my mum then. Never mind.”

            Or Erick, Harry thought, but hoped not.

            “Alright. Would you like to go call her back?”

            “In a minute. Did you need something?”

            “Did you make up with Louis yesterday?”

            “I mean, we’re cool now, so yeah, I think,” Harry said.

            “Good. Good, good.”

            “Why do you ask…? Is he okay?!”

            “Yeah, I’m assuming so. Anyways, I was just being nosy. I called to see if I could borrow some clothes? Liam and I are leaving next week, as you know, and I just realized that I don’t have many things besides T-shirts and I don’t feel as if that will be appropriate for when we go to dinner together and such…”

            “Packing already?” Harry asked.

            “Trying to,” Niall sighed.

            “I don’t think any of my clothes will fit you right, mate,” Harry said, “but tell you what, let’s go shopping and I’ll get you all fancied up. My treat.”

            “Harry…that’s not what I was after.”

            “I know. Just consider it an early birthday present, alright?”

            “Are you sure?”

            “Absolutely. You have any plans for the rest of the day?”

            “No, not really.”

            “Great. Let me call my mum back and I’ll be by to get you.”

            “You’re a life saver.”

            “I know, I know. See you soon.”

            Harry hung up with Niall and went to his missed calls, just in case, but he was fully expecting to see his mother’s name there, maybe Erick or, possibly, even Zayn.

            But definitely not Louis.

            When he saw the name staring up at him, Harry’s breath caught in his throat. Surely, this had to be a mistake. Louis wouldn’t call him now. He had to be looking at previous missed calls, all the way from back in May.

            Checking the date and time, Harry saw that it was, in fact, from that day, just after noon.

            At first, Harry was excited, smiling (and heart thumping hard) as he pressed the button to return the call, but as it rang and rang with no answer, the excitement turned back to fear. What if something was wrong? What if Louis had called because he needed something? He was sick, severely so, and Harry had just let his call slip his mind.

            Voicemail picked up and Harry outwardly whined a little. What should he do next? Should he try again? Call Niall and see if he or Liam had heard from him? Call an ambulance? No, he couldn’t do that, as he didn’t know Louis’s actual address…

            Harry was just about to speed to Louis’s house himself to make sure everything was alright when his phone rang again. It was Louis.

            “Hello?” Harry answered quickly.

            “Hey,” the other man said. He sounded alright, at least, and Harry became dizzy with relief. “Sorry I missed you. Was in the other room.”

            “No, it’s fine,” Harry breathed. “Sorry it took so long to return yours.”

            “It’s okay. That was actually my sister-”

            Right on cue, Harry heard Kelsey shout from the background, “Is that Harry? Hi, Harry! Hiiiii, Harry!”

            “Hi, Kelsey,” Harry said with a laugh.

            “Oi, he says hi, now hush. You’re giving me a migraine,” Louis told the girl.

            “Sorry!” she yelled loudly.

            “Oi,” Louis sighed again. Harry laughed, part out of amusement and part out of sympathy.

            “Did she need something then?” he asked.

            “I believe she was just calling to ask you when you are taking her to the zoo,” Louis said. “She’s been bugging me all morning about it and then took my phone while I was in the shower. It appears I’m going to have to change my pass code again.”

            “Gotta love sisters, huh?” Harry said.

            “Yeah, lucky for them,” Louis teased. Harry heard Kelsey spit at him, and he laughed again.

            “I would be happy to take her whenever, as long as that’s okay with you.”

            “Yeah, I suppose so,” Louis said. “Suppose I would get a nomination for worst brother of the year if I said no now.”

            “Worst brother of the _century_ ,” Kelsey corrected.

            “We can’t go tomorrow,” Louis spoke again, seemingly to both of them. “We’re having lunch with Billy-”

            Kelsey interrupted again to make a sound of great disdain.

            “Hush it,” Louis told her. “How about Tuesday?”

            “That’s fine,” Harry agreed. “Will you be going too?”

            “Eh…we’ll see.”

            Harry heard Lily start fussing and Kelsey tell Louis she would change her diaper. When the sounds of a baby’s crying faded, Harry spoke again.

            “How are you, Louis?” he asked. “Really.”

            “I’m okay,” Louis said. “Could be better, could be worse. But I’m definitely better than if I were on chemo.”

            “Do you need anything?”

            “No, I’m fine.”

            “You can call whenever.”

            “I’m fine,” Louis said again.

            “I know,” Harry assured him, “but just for when you’re not.”

            Louis had to get off the phone shortly after that; said he had to help Liam pick out outfits he was taking on vacation. With a laugh, Harry said that he was doing basically the same thing with Niall. It was only after they had hung up that Harry realized what had just happened. Louis had called him! Okay, well, technically Kelsey had called and Louis was just returning Harry’s missed call, but still; the fact that Kelsey had been able to call meant that Louis hadn’t erased Harry from his contacts. Despite telling Harry to delete his number, Louis had kept his. Maybe he’d never really given up either, even now that he was engaged to another man.

            Harry was smiling so much that day that Niall had asked if he had been put on happy pills.

***

            Kelsey flung open the door on Tuesday morning as soon as Harry arrived, shouting out to him, “Harry, make Louis come with us!”

            “I can’t make any promises,” Harry said, but let the girl lead him to her brother, who was lying on the couch, still in his pajamas. From her playpen, Lily shrieked and opened and closed her hand to Harry; her version of a wave.

            “Good morning!” Harry greeted cheerfully, waving back to Lily. Louis lazily turned his eyes on the visitor, unamused. Harry didn’t let that bother him. “Feeling okay?”

            “He told me he doesn’t feel sick,” Kelsey spoke. “And so if that’s true, he should come with us.”

            “It’s early,” Louis groaned, covering his face with a throw pillow.

            “It’s nine o’ clock,” Harry said.

            “It’s early. Sun’s too bright.”

            “You said you were okay,” Kelsey said, arms crossed and looking much like her brother. “So if you are, then get up and let’s go. And if not, then tell me so I can call Billy and make him take care of you like a fiancé should.”

            Louis removed the pillow from his face, looking at his sister in disbelief, and Harry attempted to hide his grin by scratching his nose.

            “Well?” Kelsey prompted.

            “I’m slow,” Louis tried. “You’ll move much faster without me.”

            “I don’t care. Do you care, Harry?”

            “Not at all. We’re in no rush.”

            “I’m not even dressed.”

            “We can wait,” Harry said. “Right, Kelsey?”

            “Right,” Kelsey said, grinning herself. Louis narrowed his eyes at both of them before sighing dramatically, pulling himself slowly from the couch and heading towards his bedroom, muttering about being ganged up on.

            “He’s a bit grumpy in the mornings these days,” Kelsey explained.

            “That’s okay,” Harry said. “Is Lily’s diaper bag all packed?”

            “Yep!”

            “Alright. Hey, I should have said something yesterday, but did you want to call your friend, Mackenzie, and see if she wants to go?”

            “That’s okay,” Kelsey said. “She’s at her dad’s until the ‘w’ thing.”

            “The ‘w’ thing?” Harry questioned.

            “The w-e-d-d-”

            “Ah, got it,” Harry interrupted so as to not make her spell out the whole, terrible word. “Billy isn’t that bad, is he?”

            “How should I put this? Hm…he is, as Niall would say, a cu-”

            “Okay, okay,” Harry interrupted again, but was unable to stop the amused smile that broke across his face. Kelsey smiled too, looking rather pleased with herself.

***

            “Has everyone eaten breakfast?” Harry asked once Louis had finished getting ready and they were all piled into his car.

            “Louis hasn’t,” Kelsey said. “Hence, why he’s so grumpy.”

            “I’m not grumpy,” Louis muttered.

            “You are, a bit,” Harry sided with Kelsey, gently bopping Louis’s nose his pointer finger.

            “Did you just…did you just ‘boop’ me?” Louis asked, brows furrowed.

            “I did. What are you going to do about it, Mr. Grumpy Pants?”

            Though Harry could tell he tried really hard not to, Louis couldn’t hold in his laugh, turning to face the window as he shook his head.

            “Yaaaay!” Harry and Kelsey cheered at the same time, and even Lily shrieked and clapped her hands.

            “What do you want to eat?” Harry asked, patting Louis’s thigh once before he began backing out of the driveway.

            “Nothing. I’m not hungry,” Louis said, still facing the window.

            “What does he want, Kelsey?”

            “Hm…I think he wants hash browns.”

            “From McDonald’s?”

            “Yeah!”

            “Okay. Coming right up.”

            “I don’t want anything,” Louis insisted.

            “Well, we’re not dealing with you like this all day,” Harry teased.

            “Rude,” Louis said.

            “Love you!” Kelsey added from the backseat.

            Louis was in a much better mood once he ate; something he would never admit, but that was okay. It made Harry feel better that he wasn’t acting like he was taken out against his will anymore.

            As soon as they got to the zoo, Louis made everyone else lather up with sunscreen and, in turn, Kelsey made him, despite his, “Bit pointless for me to worry about skin cancer, innit?”

            “You still don’t want to get burned,” Harry pointed out, helping him massage the lotion into the back of his neck and shoulders. Louis shivered a bit, but before Harry could feel too smug, he remembered that Louis chilled easily, perhaps even if it was eighty degrees out.

            Louis was doing so well at the beginning of the day that Harry could almost forget that Louis was sick and that he was terrified out of his mind. Louis pushed Lily’s stroller and took her out to see the different animals, explaining to her what they were and smiling at the look of awe that often crossed the baby’s face. He sometimes got winded, but then they would stop for just a little longer at the next exhibit until Kelsey felt he was ready to go.

            About halfway through the day, after they broke for lunch, when Louis visibly started to wind down, Harry pushed Lily and Kelsey walked with Louis, holding his hand to keep him steady. Louis still seemed happy, though, even if tired, and when his sister asked, insisted he was fine to keep going.

            Eventually, Kelsey announced that she wanted to push Lily’s stroller, so Harry fell back with Louis.

            “Are you really okay?” he asked, too quiet for the girl to hear.

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Louis said.

            “Would you admit it if you weren’t?”

            Louis smiled sheepishly. “Maybe.”

            “So difficult,” Harry sighed, smiling as well, and he reached over to lace the pair’s fingers together. Louis looked down, then up at Harry, eyebrow quirked.

            “It’s easier to walk this way,” Harry said, repeating Louis’s words from their first date when Louis had taken his hand.

            “If you say so,” Louis replied, but still, he didn’t let go of Harry.

            When Kelsey turned and saw, it looked like Christmas had come early for her.

            Once they had finally seen all of the animals, Kelsey asked if she could get ice cream and Harry agreed that it sounded good, so stopped at the treat stand.

            “What do you want?” Harry asked Louis, and so what if they were still holding hands?

            “I’m good,” Louis said, not surprising Harry one bit.

            “We’ll share,” he said. “What kind do you like? Are you a chocolate kind of guy? You are, aren’t you?”

            Louis simply stared, so Harry turned to Kelsey.

            “What does he like?”

            “Chocolate,” she answered.

            “I knew it!” Harry said proudly before turning to the smiling zoo worker and ordering.

            “First date?” she asked.

            “Third,” Harry answered.

            “This is not a date,” Louis said.

            “He’s playing hard to get,” Harry explained. Louis’s cheeks turned pink.

            They sat to eat their dessert and Harry was pleased that Louis did take a few bites. With his permission, Harry let Lily try a small bite as well, and the shocked look on her face sent them all into a fit of laughter.

            There was a section, towards the exit of the zoo, with a mini amusement park, and Kelsey outwardly gasped when she saw it.

            “Louis, let’s go on the roller coaster!” she exclaimed.

            “You do realize that I get dizzy to the point of nausea just by breathing, right?” Louis asked, looking at his sister like she’d lost her mind.

            “So? You’re supposed to throw up on roller coasters, right?”

            “Kelsey, I am not riding that with you.”

             “Fine. Harry will you ride it with me?”

            “Okay,” Harry agreed.

            “Yay!” Kelsey cheered, bolting to the ride.

            “We’ll leave after this, I promise,” Harry told Louis, squeezing his hand gently before letting go.

            “I’m fine,” Louis said. Harry gave him a look, but turned and hurried after the child.

            “I have a confession,” she said once they were on the ride, buckled in and getting ready for take-off.

            “And what is that?” Harry asked.

            “I’ve never been on a roller coaster before. I’m kind of scared.”

            “This one doesn’t loop, so it shouldn’t be too bad,” Harry assured her.

            “Can I hold your hand?” she asked.

            “You can.”

            So she did, gripping tightly, but her fear subsided quickly and by the third hill, her hands were up in the air as she yelled with excitement.

            As promised, they left after that. Louis was quiet in the car, but even Kelsey didn’t talk too much and Lily fell asleep, so Harry tried not to be too worried.

            Louis invited Harry into the house once they got back; an offer which Harry, of course, accepted. Kelsey went to put Lily in bed and call Mackenzie while Harry and Louis went to the couch, Louis pouring them both a glass of lemonade.

            “Did you have fun?” Harry asked, not mentioning the fact that Louis had sat close enough for their shoulders to touch.

            “I did,” Louis said, “and the girls really enjoyed it, so thank you.”

            “My pleasure.”

            They quietly sipped their lemonade for a minute before Louis sighed, laying his head on Harry’s shoulder.

            “Nice pillow,” he commented sleepily. Harry simply laughed and was careful to barely move while Louis rested there. He was silent so long that Harry thought he fell asleep, but then he spoke again, still sounding tired, but his words clear.

            “The girls are getting really attached to you.”

            “They’re great kids.”

            “Yeah, they are, but…they’ve already lost so much. After me, I don’t want them to lose anymore, so Harry, please…if you’re not going to be around once I’m gone, this has to be it.”

            “I’m not going anywhere,” Harry said, “but neither are you.”

            (Maybe he was back in denial. So what?)

            “Harry, please.”

            “Okay,” Harry sighed. “I’ll still be here, even if you’re not.”

            “Promise?”

            “I promise.”

            Harry hadn’t even realized that Louis had tensed until he felt him relax.

            “You will be here though,” he added.

            “No, I won’t, Harry.”

            Harry didn’t say anything.

            “I like tulips,” Louis said after a moment.

            “I’ll get you those for our next date then.”

            “No. For the funeral.”

            “Louis, this is a terrible topic of discussion.”

            Somehow, Louis was smiling as he sat up, sitting cross legged on the couch and facing Harry, who hoped it wasn’t obvious how much he was bothered by what Louis was saying.

            “Do you want me to cook you all dinner?” Harry changed the subject.

            “No, we’ll be okay.”

            “Okay.”

            Harry stretched as he stood, about to tell Louis he would get out of their hair when the other man spoke again.

            “You can stay for dinner if you want,” he offered. “We’re having tacos.”

            “Are you sure?”

            Louis nodded.

            “Alright,” Harry agreed. “I would love to stay.”

            They cooked together, talking about things that were much more light-hearted than funerals and it was, again, almost easy to forget that anything was wrong until Harry said something and got no response, then turned to see Louis, face pale as he gripped the counter so hard his knuckles were turning white. His eyes were squeezed shut tight.

            “Louis?” Harry asked, hurrying to place his hands on the other’s hips. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah,” Louis said, forcing his unsteady eyes open. “Just another dizzy spell. You know, the usual. Sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize. Are you still dizzy?”

            “No.”

            Louis broke free from Harry, but as soon as the other’s hands were off of him, he stumbled to the side, knee hitting the side of the counter hard.

            “Whoa, okay,” Harry breathed, quickly reaching out to steady Louis and hold him upright for a few seconds before gently picking him up and setting him on top of an unused counter. Louis’s hands were balled tightly around the bottom of Harry’s shirt, leaning his forehead against the other’s as he closed his eyes again, breaths coming out hard and short.

            “Lou?” Harry asked, seriously worried again.

            “I’m okay,” Louis said quietly.

            “How bad is it, Lou?”

            “I don’t know.”

            “What do you mean you don’t know?”

            “It’s spread, I’m sure.”

            “How long?”

            “How long do I have, you mean?”

            Harry’s silence was his answer.

            “I’m not sure. Not long.”

            “Just without treatment, right?”

            “Harry…”

            Louis didn’t get to finish whatever he was going to say because they were, apparently, not alone anymore.

            “Are you kissing?!” Kelsey asked, and Harry turned to see her mouth dropped open, though she didn’t look necessarily disapproving.

            “No, no,” Louis said. “We weren’t kissing.”

            “It’s okay. I won’t tell Billy.”

            “We weren’t kissing!”

            Though it was the truth, Harry noted that some color had risen to Louis’s cheeks again.

            “Go get Lily up. She needs to eat,” Louis instructed his sister. After studying the two adults for a moment longer, she obeyed. Louis took that time to hop back to his feet, Harry holding onto his arm, just in case. Once he was sure Louis was steady, he let go and went back to his tacos, hoping his watery eyes hadn’t been noticeable. He could feel Louis’s eyes burning into the back of his head, so thought they might have been, but Louis didn’t say anything and concentrated on getting Lily situated while Harry finished dinner.

            Louis ate with them and seemed to be in a good mood while talking to the two. Harry tried to pretend he was in a good mood too, but it was hard. He was trying to stay positive, like Kelsey, but he wasn’t a child anymore. He could tell himself Louis would be fine, but the facts said otherwise. Before, when they first started casually dating, it was hard to tell anything was wrong, the only symptom seeming to be the dizzy spells that came when Louis stood too fast, which wasn’t even all that uncommon. In just three months, they had worsened, and Harry didn’t even really know how badly because he was sure Louis was still hiding things from him; from everyone.

            His dad had done that too. He would tell everyone he was fine; lessen the severity of his symptoms to make the others feel better. One day, he’d been out, teaching Harry to golf; the first time he’d actually spent time with his son in a while. The next day, he was gone.

            “I have to go to the bathroom.”

            Louis stopped whatever he was saying, and both he and Kelsey looked at Harry, taken aback by his abruptness. However, Harry was already out of his seat and halfway down the hall. He closed the door tight behind him and leaned his forehead against it, concentrating on breathing evenly as he, once again, fought off his tears. What was he doing? He’d already seen one person die from this disease and, true, he and his dad never really got along, but Harry hadn’t wanted it to end like that, and he certainly hadn’t enjoyed sticking around and watching it happen, but he had because it was his father. Louis though…he didn’t even know what to describe him as. Could they be considered friends? Was that term too strong? Not strong enough? Either way, Harry had no logical reason to stick around. He couldn’t help Louis, and once he was gone, he couldn’t help Kelsey or Lily either. Sure, they liked him, but he wasn’t their brother. He couldn’t fill that void. He couldn’t do anything.

            He was useless.

            A knock on the door made Harry jump.

            “Hold on a minute,” he said, quickly rubbing his eyes and looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looked normal, he guessed, no matter how twisted he felt on the inside.

            “Are you okay?” Louis asked, concern written all over his face when Harry opened the door to find him standing on the other side.

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry said. His tone didn’t quite match his words.

            “Are you sure?” Louis prodded. “You ran off so fast we thought you were getting sick or something.”

            “No, I wasn’t. I’m not the one who’s sick.”

            Realization dawned on Louis’s face and his expression fell.

            “Harry, please don’t…”

            “You have to get better, Louis.”

            The other man sighed.

            “I told you, you don’t have to stay. You can still leave and I promise I won’t be mad. I’ll tell Kelsey you’re ill and we can just let…this…end.”

            “No, I don’t want to leave Louis!” Harry exclaimed, though made sure to keep his voice quiet. And he _didn’t_ want to leave, no matter if he should.

            “Okay…”

            “Why do you?”

            “Why do I what?”

            “Want to leave?”

            “I can’t talk about this right now, Harry,” Louis said, breaking eye contact. “If you’re going to stay, let’s go finish dinner.”

            Turning on his heel, Louis walked back out to the dining area. After taking a deep breath, Harry followed.

            “Harry, are you okay?” Kelsey asked.

            “Yeah, sorry about that,” Harry said, forcing a smile. “I suddenly realized I had to wee really badly.”

            “Okay,” Kelsey laughed. The two continued to eat, though the adults were basically just picking at their food at that point. Kelsey didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary and after a few bites, sighed in contentment. “I like this.”

            “You always did like tacos,” Louis commented.

            “No, those are good, but that’s not what I meant. I like the four of us here, eating together and…whatever Lily is doing.”

            Lily looked up from the floor at the sound of her name, smiling innocently as she shoved the edge of a block into her mouth. 

            “It will be four of us soon,” Louis pointed out. Kelsey rolled her eyes.

            “Billy isn’t the same as Harry.”

            “Why don’t you like Billy?” Louis sighed.

            “He doesn’t make you happy like Harry does.”

            “I’m happy with Billy.”

            “No, you only use your fake smile around him. _Plus_ , he doesn’t care when you’re tired or sick.”

            “Okay, drop the subject, Kels.”

            Kelsey did, glancing over to Harry, who shrugged.

***

            After dinner was finished and Harry had helped with the dishes, he reluctantly announced that he should probably get going, not wanting to make a nuisance of himself.

            “I want to bake cookies,” Kelsey had said, completely ignoring him.

            “I’m tired, Kels,” Louis said. “We’ll bake cookies tomorrow.”

            “Do you know how to bake cookies?” Kelsey asked, looking at Harry.

            “I do,” he answered.

            “Harry can bake cookies with me,” she told Louis.

            “It’s been a long day. Harry probably is tired too and wants to go home,” Louis reasoned.

            “I’m fine,” Harry assured them, but was also quick to say, “but we should probably let Lou go to bed, Kels.”

            “We’ll be quiet!”

            Harry looked at Louis, feeling bad that he didn’t just take his cue and leave. Louis shrugged. “Do what you want. I’m giving Lily a bath.”

            The two watched as he slowly, carefully, picked up the baby and headed to the bathroom. Then, Kelsey looked back to Harry, smiling again.

            “Cookie time!”

***

            Louis put Lily back in her playpen after her bath and then fell asleep on the couch while the other two waited for the cookies to get done. They stayed at the table, playing Go Fish in whispers until the oven beeped. Harry took the tray out and set them on top of the stove to cool while Kelsey peeked in the living room to check on her brother.

            “Oh, hi,” she said, and Harry figured Louis must have woken up. Listening closer, he heard him grumble something and smiled to himself.

            “I have no idea what you just said,” Kelsey informed her brother as Harry walked over to check on the man himself. “The cookies are out and just have to cool,” Kelsey continued. “Do you want one when they’re ready?”

            “Mmph,” Louis groaned, turning his head and closing his eyes again. The girl made her way over to his side, placing the back of her hand against his forehead to check his temperature. It was both cute and sad.

            “You don’t feel too warm,” she noted.

            “Nope,” Louis agreed. “I’m perfect.”

            He reached out quickly, pulling the girl down on the couch with him and causing her to shriek. Harry smiled and went back to the kitchen to wait, giving them some privacy.

            Kelsey came to check on the cookies a few minutes later and Harry told her that he thought they should be fine to eat, placing one on a napkin for her.

            “Can I have for one Louis too, just in case?” she asked.

            “Of course,” Harry told her.

            When he didn’t immediately join the group, Kelsey called for Harry to come watch TV with them. He obeyed, about to sit on the end by Kelsey when she scooted over, patting the place in the middle.

            “Mmm, pillow,” Louis said, leaning again against Harry’s side. Harry gave a small laugh, making small circles in Louis’s thigh with his thumb. Within minutes, he was asleep again.

            He stayed asleep for a while. Kelsey put Lily in her crib when she started fussing and soon after, went to bed herself, leaving Harry and an unconscious Louis on the couch by themselves. Maybe it should have been awkward, but it wasn’t.

            Louis made soft moans and groans as he attempted to pull himself from his slumber, and Harry let him take his time, thinking he would personally be fine staying like that all night. Soon, though, Louis was sitting up, rubbing his eyes before stretching his arms out a little.

            “What time’s it?” he asked.

            “Almost ten thirty,” Harry answered.

            “Shit. Sorry. Should have woken me,” Louis said, running a hand through his hair before standing slowly.

            “There wasn’t any need,” Harry told him, also standing. “Are you alright? Should I carry you to bed?”

            “No,” Louis laughed, though Harry was being serious. “But I’ll walk you to your car.”

            He did, shivering and crossing his arms against the night wind. Harry wished he had a jacket to give him that time.

            “Can we talk now?” Harry asked once the door was closed and they began making their way down the driveway.

            “About what?”

            “You need to do treatments, Lou.”

            “Harry, we’ve been through this.”

            “Do you want to die?”

            Harry expected an immediate denial and was alarmed when Louis said nothing at all.

            “You want to die?!” he asked, and there was the threat of tears yet again.  

            “I don’t want to leave the girls,” Louis said, “but other than that, there’s nothing really left in life for me.”

            “That…Louis, that’s not true,” Harry said, voice somewhat hoarse. The guy was literally breaking his heart. Again. “You could still have a bright future ahead of you.”

            “Things sure don’t seem to be heading that way.”

            “Things change.”

            “I’m starting to feel sick, Harry. I have to go.”

            “Hold on.”

            Harry gently grabbed Louis’s hand as he started to turn away and, reluctantly, Louis moved to face him again. Harry didn’t let go of his hand.

            “Do you love Billy?”

            “Of course.”

            “So you would be marrying him if you weren’t sick?”

            “Why does that matter? I _am_ sick, Harry, and I need to know that someone will be able to take care of the girls when I can’t anymore.”

            “I can. And I will…would…will…”

            “I don’t think you understand what all is involved with raising two little girls.”

            “Not exactly, but I’d figure it out and in the meantime, you can teach me.”

            “It’s expensive, Harry. I know you have plenty of money now, but they’ll drain that, and then what?”

            “I’ll get a job. It’s time I grow up anyway.”

            “But doing what? Everything is already in place with Billy. Just…leave it alone. Please?”

            “Why is he taking them anyway?” Harry asked. “If they’re the reason he left, why is he suddenly so eager to raise them, potentially by himself?”

            “Because he grew up too.”

            “He’s how old? Thirty? I think he should have done that a while ago.”

            “Twenty-eight, and there was no reason for him to before. Why am I even talking about this with you? It’s not your business.”

            “Why didn’t he call today?”

            “What?”

            “I’m just saying, if my fiancé was this ill, I wouldn’t let a whole day pass without checking up on him.”

            “He’s busy.”

            “I’m sure he had two or three free minutes or even thirty seconds to at least text.”

            “How do you know he didn’t?”

            “Because you would have told me by now.”

            Louis sighed, pulling his hand away from Harry to rub his face.

            “My head is pounding. I’m going to bed.”

            “Lou, I’m sorry.”

            “Me too.”

            “Do you need me to stay with you tonight?”

            Louis hesitated, and for one hopeful moment, Harry thought he was going to say yes, but then he shook his head.

            “I just need sleep. Have a good night.”

            “Louis…”

            “What?” the other urged when Harry trailed off.

            “I have no idea.”

            Louis nodded but, instead of walking towards the house, took a step forward, then another until he was directly in front of Harry, throwing his arms around the taller guy’s neck as a small whimper made its way from his throat.

            “Aw, don’t cry, Lou,” Harry said, wrapping his arms around the guy’s middle. “Actually, go ahead. You have every reason to.”

            “I’m sorry,” Louis said, turning his face to bury it into the space between Harry’s neck and collar bone. Harry felt moisture from the other’s tears and had to swallow his own.

            “Stop apologizing,” he said. “You don’t have to apologize for being sick and you don’t have to apologize for crying. You don’t need to keep apologizing for being human.”

            “I shouldn’t have gotten you into this,” Louis told him. Harry’s hold on him grew tighter.

            “I was the one who came back.”

            “But I never should have gotten involved with you in the first place. I didn’t know I was sick then, but I had a feeling…I just didn’t feel right. But I didn’t want to know, so I went on like everything was fine. It’s just…I really liked you. I couldn’t say no once I thought that maybe you liked me too. I was selfish. I would change it all if I could.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, do you want to know what I would change?”

            “What?”

            “I would change almost everything that happened at that party. Not the beginning, because that was great, but I would have paid attention to what I was giving you to take. I wouldn’t have left you in the bathroom with that guy. I would have taken you to my place to keep an eye on you and make sure you were okay, and I certainly wouldn’t have said all of those terrible things. I would have been with you when you found out you were sick and stayed right here through it all. But that’s it, Lou. Besides that, I wouldn’t change a damn thing.”

            Another small cry came from Louis, and for a while, the two just stayed like that, wrapped up in each other.

            “Harry?” Louis finally said, pulling gently away and wiping his eyes.

            “Yeah?” Harry asked, heart heavy. He hated seeing Louis cry.

            “I’m sorry I slapped you.”

            That hadn’t been what Harry was expecting, and he actually laughed.

            “No, you’re not.”

            “Yes, I am,” Louis insisted, small smile on his face. “I mean, it felt good at first, but then after a couple days passed, I started to feel really bad about it.”

            “It’s alright,” Harry assured him, reaching out to take his hand again. Louis didn’t pull away, but said,

            “No, it’s not.”

            “It is. To be honest, that was probably the only way you were going to shut my big mouth, and I had said much too much, so I appreciate it.”

            Louis managed to choke out a laugh then, as he again rubbed at his eyes, and Harry pulled him back against his chest.

            “Stay tonight?” Louis asked, quietly.

            “Of course.”

            As Harry hoisted Louis up, the smaller guy wrapped his legs around Harry’s hips, arms around his neck and face buried into his chest as Harry made his way inside. He carried Louis to his room and laid him gently onto the bed. The other man was already half asleep.

            “Get better for me?” Harry tried one more time as he laid next to the other and placed a kiss on his forehead.

            “Mmm,” Louis hummed, and it wasn’t a yes, but wasn’t a no either, so Harry smiled as the other wrapped his body around him and slept. Harry slept too, better than he had in a while, feeling more at home than he ever did at his mom’s, his dad’s or even his own place.


	10. Chapter 10

            Louis had been wrapped so tightly around Harry that Harry wasn’t sure how he’d slipped out of his grip without him noticing, but he was alone when he woke. Still, he was in Louis’s house, on Louis’s bed, so he smiled, rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling while mustering the energy to get up and face the day. Before he had any success, he heard the bedroom door squeak open, and looked over to see Louis heading towards him.

            “Good morning,” Harry greeted.

            “Good morning to you. Sleep well?”

            “I did. How are you feeling?”

            “I’m okay,” Louis said, wincing as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

            “What’s wrong?” Harry asked, feeling around until he found Louis’s hand.

            “Nothing. Morning aches. Guess I am an old man, huh?”

            “I don’t think so,” Harry said, though Louis had been smiling. “How long have you been up?”

            “Not long. Are you hungry? Kelsey wants muffins for breakfast, so I was coming to see if you prefer blueberry or strawberry.”

            “Mmm…strawberry. Does she know I’m here?”

            “Yeah. She heard your voice last night. Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

            “Yeah, I guess I should have warned you about that.”

            “It’s alright. It was a bit endearing.”

            “Did I say anything embarrassing?”

            “To be honest, I haven’t the faintest idea what you were blabbering about, Curly.”

            “Curly,” Harry repeated with a smile. “Haven’t been called that in a while.”

            Louis smiled too.

            “I’m going to start breakfast. You can shower if you’d like, though I probably don’t have any clothes that will fit you.”

            “I’ll just wait until I get home,” Harry said, adding, “unless I smell. Do I smell?”

            “Eh…we’ll survive it,” Louis said, but winked. Harry smiled.

            “I do at least have an extra toothbrush so that might make you feel a little fresher. I’ll put it by the sink.”

            “Thanks.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Louis left the room, and Harry laid there for only another minute before getting up. After using the bathroom and brushing his teeth, he went out to see if Louis needed help with breakfast. He didn’t, so Harry went to watch television with Kelsey.

            Just when the smell of strawberry was starting to fill the place, the sound of the front door opening made the girl tense up, and a moment later, a voice called out,

            “Lou!  You awake?”

            “Ugh!” Kelsey groaned quietly. Louis must not have been in the kitchen anymore because he didn’t answer, and a minute later, Billy entered the living area, starting a bit when he saw Harry.

            “What are you doing here?”

            “Just coming by to see my friend,” Harry said, kind of hoping it wasn’t obvious that he was in the previous day’s outfit, but also kind of hoping it was.

            “Uh-huh…,” Billy hummed, eyeing Harry for a moment longer before turning to Kelsey. “Where’s your brother?”

            “I don’t know. He was in the kitchen.”

            “Well he’s not now. Go find him. I told you that you need to keep an eye on him. He’s not well.”

            “You think I don’t know that?!” Kelsey retorted with a roll of her eyes, but pushed herself off the couch and went to search for Louis.

            “You shouldn’t put so much pressure on her,” Harry informed the other man, who attempted to murder him with his glare again.   

            “You’re not her father.”

            “No…but neither are you.”

            “I’m the closest thing to it.”

            “Um, I believe that would be Louis.”

            “Not for much longer.”

            Harry was stunned into silence for a moment because Billy sounded so cold about it. This was his fiancé they were talking about, and it sounded like he didn’t even care if he lived or not.

            “You’re even more of a douche than I thought,” Harry said once he could finally speak again.

            “Excuse me?”

            “You heard me.”

            “Billy?”

            Both men stopped at the sound of Louis’s voice, and the oldest man put a stupid, phony smile on his face, relaxing his posture as Louis headed towards him.

            “What are you doing here?” Louis asked. Kelsey, Harry noted, hadn’t returned.

            “I’m your fiancé,” Billy said in reply to Louis’s question.

            “Well, obviously,” Louis said with a short, almost nervous laugh. “Just, usually you text or something before you come over.”

            “Is me being here a problem?”

            “No, of course not. Just wanted to make sure everything is okay.”

            “Everything is fine, my love. I just wanted to see you before I go into work. Are you alright?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine.”

            “Good.”

            Billy pulled Louis into a kiss then, and it was much louder and longer than Harry found necessary.

            “Um,” Louis muttered awkwardly when the man finally freed him, running an anxious hand through his hair.

            “Are you sure you’re okay, babe?” Billy asked, grabbing onto Louis’s waist and causing him to wince again.

            “Yeah, yeah. Totally. Breakfast is almost done. Would you like a muffin?”

            “No time. I have to get going. Just needed to see my favorite face!”

            Louis gave another nervous laugh, glancing quickly over to Harry before looking back to Billy.

            “Well, have a good day at work. I’ll see you later tonight.”

            “I’ll try. Call if you need anything, alright?”

            “Yeah, yeah.”

            “Such attitude. I like it.”

            Harry couldn’t help it and rolled his eyes as Louis was, once again, pulled into a kiss. Louis walked Billy to the door after that and Billy called out a much too loud, “I love you” before Louis said it back, much quieter, and shut the door.

            “He certainly lays it on thick,” Harry commented once Louis made his way back to the room.

            “Yeah, sorry about that. He’s a bit socially awkward.”

            “So when are you breaking up with him?”

            Louis frowned.

            “Harry…I’m not…”

            “Oh.”

            Something much stronger than disappointment settled down upon Harry. He should have known, he guessed. He’d been jumping to conclusions; overthinking things, apparently, by thinking Louis inviting him to stay the night meant anything, but it had felt like something had changed last night.

            Harry was an idiot.

            “I’m sorry,” Louis said, genuinely looking it. “It’s just…the girls.”

            “And you’re still not doing treatments?”

            “No…I’m…I’m really sorry I made you feel like it was heading that way, but I thought I made it clear that I just…I have no choice, Harry.”

            “Yes you do.”

            “You really need to think about what you’re saying. _If_ , hypothetically, I broke up with Billy, signed over custody to you, then that’s it. You would only have a few more years with Kelsey, but Lily is a baby. You would be completely raising her. All of your money would be theirs. There would barely be time for a social life. It might sound alright in theory, but you barely know them and I don’t want someone who’s going to end up resenting them because they’re so worth all of the sacrifices, but it’s _hard._ ”

            “I know that,” Harry sighed.

            “I don’t think you really do.”

            The oven beeped, signaling that the muffins were done and, in turn, their conversation was over.

            “Would you mind going to get the girls?”

            “Sure.”

            Kelsey was in her room, playing on the floor with Lily, but looking forlorn all the same.

            “Everything alright?” Harry asked.

            “You’re still here?!” she said, eyes growing wide as the tiniest of smiles formed on her face.

            “I am,” Harry replied with a smile of his own.

            “I thought Billy would have made you leave.”

            “I’m not afraid of him. Have you seen that twig? I could snap him in half. Not that I’m condoning violence…”

            Kelsey laughed.

            “It’s okay,” she said. “He brings out the worst in people.”

            “Breakfast is ready,” Harry informed her.

            “Okay,” she said, standing and picking Lily up along with her. “But guess what?”

            “What?”

            “Louis wasn’t grumpy this morning.”

            “That’s good!”

            “He _hummed_ while doing his hair!”

            “Pure coincidence, I’m sure,” Harry said, big grin on his face at the mental image that conjured.

            “Right. Coincidence,” Kelsey said sarcastically.

***

            Harry left soon after breakfast, as he did feel quite disgusting and needed a shower. Louis walked him to his car again.

            “Just think about the wedding?” Harry tried one last time before getting into his car. “Think about your options, Lou, please.”

            “Fine,” Louis agreed, “but you need to think too, Harry.”

            “Okay,” Harry said, and he did. He thought about it for about five minutes during the drive home, but he already knew what he wanted. He wanted Louis, of course, but that wasn’t it. He may not have known any of them very long, but he loved them. He loved the girls and wanted to be around to watch them grow up and make something of themselves. He wanted to teach Lily to walk and approve-or disapprove-of the men or women Kelsey brought home. He wanted to get them ready for school in the mornings. He loved them, like a parent should. And he loved Louis. He really, really loved Louis; was in love with Louis.

            When it happened, Harry wasn’t so sure. Their initial meeting had been rough, but after that, he fell fast. It could have been anytime; after their double date as they stood talking by Louis’s car, that time Louis hurt his ankle and Harry wrapped it for him, when he found him a drunken mess behind the strip club, during their first date, at the party, just recently…Or maybe it was during all of those things and the times in between. Maybe once you started falling in love, you never really stopped. Harry didn’t know. But he did know one thing; he had to do everything he could to ensure that they all got their happy ending because, despite everything, he thought that, probably, Louis was in love with him too and was just afraid. Harry was afraid too, but he was determined.

            For once, fate seemed to be on his side.

            After showering, Niall called Harry, asking if he would like to go to lunch with him and Zayn. Though he wasn’t the least bit hungry, Harry agreed. He didn’t see Zayn that often anymore, and he didn’t know if he would get another chance to see Niall before he left for France.

            “Why are you smiling so much?” Zayn asked about halfway through his meal. Harry had taken three bites of his own. “It’s creeping me out.”

            “I’m in love,” Harry informed them, smile only growing. The other two glanced at each other.

            “So you started seeing Perrie’s friend, Erick, again?” Zayn asked.

            “No, Z, don’t be ridiculous. I’m not in love with him.”

            “Who then?” Niall prodded, sounding hesitant.

            “Who do you think?”

            “Please, not Louis…”

            “Of course it’s Louis!”

            “Harry,” Niall sighed, “he’s engaged.”

            “Temporarily.”

            “No…”

            “He’s sick, Harry,” Zayn added.

            “I know that. What does that have to do with anything?”

            “Well, to be honest, mate, I’m a bit concerned that you’re smiling over being in love with a half married sick man.”

            “He’s not marrying him.”

            Both of his friends collectively sighed then.

            “Okay, I know this is some sort of defense mechanism, but, Harry, you’ve got to face reality or it’s going to really hurt in the end, more than is necessary,” Niall said.

            “I _know_ Louis might not make it,” Harry said.

            “ _Might_?”

            “Yes. But he’s not marrying that man. If something happens, I’ll take the girls.”

            “Does Louis know all of this?” Zayn asked.

            “I think so, deep down.”

            The subject was dropped after that, Niall and Zayn looking at Harry as if he’d lost his mind, but not saying anything about it.

            Harry walked around town a bit more after lunch, wandering aimlessly, but not feeling ready to go back home just yet. He went on for a while, just window shopping, until he came across an empty building and slowed to a stop. He studied the building, trying to remember what had been there before. Some restaurant, he thought, though couldn’t be sure. It was a bit small for a typical restaurant, but he supposed it could work, given the right circumstances.                                                      

            He didn’t know quite what he was looking for as he continued to study the vacant building, until his eyes landed on the ‘for sale’ sign posted inside the door, facing out. Then, a light bulb went off in his head and he just knew.

            Harry was grinning from ear to ear as he whipped out his phone to dial the realtor’s number.

***

            The place had been shut down for a good while, apparently, and the realtor was so eager to sell that she met Harry right away. The building was outdated, and the inside needed a lot of work, but it was perfect. Harry didn’t even need to think about that purchase.

***

            As he headed back to his car, still grinning, his phone again began to ring. Louis’s name shone up at him. Harry’s face threatened to crack.

            “Hey, what’s up?” he answered.

            “Hi, Harry!”

            It was Kelsey again, but that was just fine.

            “Hi, Kelsey. Hey, didn’t I give you my number back when I had to watch you and Lily?”

            “Yeah, but Louis deleted it after you two fought or whatever. He’s mean sometimes.”

            So Louis deleted his number from his sister’s phone but not his own. Harry felt much too good about this.

            “I see. Well, what’s going on? Everything okay?”

            “Yeah. I was just wondering if I happened to leave my chap stick in your car yesterday. I can’t find it anywhere!”

            “I’m not home, but I’m heading to my car now. I’ll check when I get there.”

            “Okay, thank you.”

            “You’re welcome. So how did you manage to steal your brother’s phone this time?”

            “He’s outside filling up the baby pool. My friend, Mackenzie, got to come home early so that she can come to my birthday party, so Louis is setting up a mini water park outside for us.”

            “That sounds fun. I didn’t know it was your birthday.”

            “Friday is.”

            “Happy early birthday then!”

            “Thank you.”

            “I’m at my car. Give me a sec.”

            A second was all he really needed because as soon as he opened his rear door, he saw the pink, sparkly tube sitting right on his seat.

            “Yeah, I found your chap stick,” he told the girl, who sighed.

            “I swear I would lose my head if it wasn’t attached!”

            “Would you like me to bring it back to you?” Harry, fighting back a laugh, asked.

            “Please, if it’s not too much trouble.”

            “I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.”

            “Perfect.”

***

            Kelsey answered the door in her swimsuit, hair dripping water onto the floor.

            “Hi! Thank you!” she exclaimed, like the chap stick was something she very greatly needed.

            “You’re welcome.”

            “Do you want to see our mini waterpark?”

            “Did Louis know I was coming by again?”

            “No, but that doesn’t matter. Follow me!”

            Harry did, figuring it would be alright since he’d shown up unexpectedly one other time under much worse circumstances and Louis hadn’t kicked him out.

            The ‘water park’ was actually pretty neat, Harry noted, smiling as he looked around. There were two different sprinklers going off in different directions, lemonade on the back table, beach music playing from the portable radio and even inflatable palm trees set up. Louis was sitting, squeezed, into the baby pool with Kelsey, who was splashing, giggling and shrieking as Louis smiled down at her, one arm around her waist to prevent any accidents.

            Harry was smiling too big again, thought it faltered just a bit when he saw the dark, painful looking bruise on Louis’s knee. He wondered what it was from before remembering that he’d hit it on the side of the counter when he’d lost his balance the previous day. Suddenly, Harry felt like a terrible person for not asking how it was before.

            “We have company!” Kelsey announced. Louis looked up, startling a bit when he saw the other man.

            “When did you get here?” he asked as Harry walked over to him. Kelsey ran back to the sprinklers and her friend.

            “Just now. Kelsey forgot something in my car.”

            “Completely on accident, I’m sure.”

            “It was!”

            Kelsey was approaching again, bringing the friend along with her.

            “Okay,” Louis said disbelievingly, but he was still smiling as he got out of the pool, lifting Lily with him and standing by Harry.

            “It was,” Kelsey insisted, “but since he drove all the way here to bring it back, we should treat him by taking him to the movies with us tomorrow!”

            Louis rolled his eyes and Harry laughed. It was nice to see Louis this way-teasing and happy.

            “By the way, Harry, this is Mackenzie, my best friend!” Kelsey said. “And Mackenzie, this is Harry.”

            “Hi, Mackenzie,” Harry said with a polite smile.

            “Hi!”

            “I’m going to the bathroom,” Louis announced. “Be right back.”

            “I’ll take Lily,” Harry offered.

            “She’ll get you all wet.”

            “That’s okay.”

            Shrugging to himself, Louis handed Lily over, the baby smiling widely at the face Harry gave her.

            “Do you want to play in the sprinklers with us when Louis gets back?” Kelsey asked once her brother had dried off a bit and gone inside.

            “I shouldn’t stay too long,” Harry told her. “I think Louis is getting tired of my face.”

            “No he’s not.”

            “He really likes your face,” Mackenzie added. Both girls laughed then, and Harry smiled yet again.

            “I don’t have any swimwear.”

            “You can use Louis’s extra pair,” Kelsey said. “They’ll be really short on you, but I’m sure he won’t mind.”

            Harry laughed along with the girls that time.

            “What’s going on?” Louis asked as he made his way back over.

            “That was quick,” Harry commented.

            “We’re trying to get Harry to stay and play,” Kelsey said.

            “I’m a ninja, Harry. And I’m sure he has better things to do, Kels.”

            “Fine. He can just sit by you and talk about…things.”

            The girls erupted into more giggles before running back to the sprinklers.

            “My sister is so weird,” Louis commented.

            “She’s adorable,” Harry laughed.

            “I would invite you to the movies with us tomorrow, but Billy is going.”

            He paused for just a brief moment before adding,

            “Well, as of now.”

            “Ah, so he’s not a man of his word then?”

            “He is when it matters,” Louis said, reaching out for his sister.

            “I think it always matters,” Harry commented, passing the baby over. He didn’t receive a reply.

            “Well, I guess I should be going,” Harry spoke again. “I actually have things to do for once in my life.”

            “Of course,” Louis said with a polite smile.

            Harry shouted goodbye to Kelsey and Mackenzie. Mackenzie waved back and continued playing, but Kelsey ran over.

            “Will you come to my birthday party on Friday?” she asked, looking up and squinting against the sun, but Harry could still see hope on her face, and how was he supposed to say no to that?

            “I would love to. Is it here?”

            “No. It’s in London.”

            “Wow. That’s pretty far.”

            “Yeah. Louis always promised he would take me for my thirteenth birthday, but changed it to my twelfth.”

            “Niall is watching Lily, and it’s only going to be me, Kelsey, Liam, Mackenzie and a few other of Kelsey’s friends, if you do want to come,” Louis told him. He was actually inviting him to come to London too? Harry could fly if he tried, probably.

            “Sounds fun,” he said.

            “You don’t have to come,” Louis added as Kelsey ran off again.

            “No, it’s fine. Unless you, like, don’t want me to come…”

            “I don’t mind.”

            Louis was smiling, and Harry returned it.

***

            Harry spent the rest of the evening and half of the night making plans for his new purchased property. It was exhausting, but at the same time, exhilarating, and when he finally decided to give his aching head a break for the night, it was going on eleven. Still, his adrenaline was on high, and he knew sleep was far off. He had to get out. He had to tell somebody.

            _What are you two doing?_ he sent as a group message to his two best friends.

            _At the strip club with the boyfriends_ , Zayn replied. _Wanna join?_

 _Be right there,_ Harry sent, glad that the other two just happened to be hanging out already. The world really loved him that day.

            Though he couldn’t really tell them of his plans with Liam there-no offense to Liam, but Harry didn’t want to tell too many people and jinx it-going to the club would at least get him out of his head for a bit, and maybe there would be time to discuss his project towards the end of the night.

***

            As Harry made his way over to the bar, it was clear that Niall was quite intoxicated, so he supposed he wasn’t going to be delivering him any news that night. Oh well. He already felt better just being out of the house.

            “Hazza!” Niall exclaimed when Harry took the empty seat opposite of him, the drunk man throwing an arm awkwardly around his friend.

            “Hazza? Are we back in our school days?” Harry teased, amused. “How drunk are you, Niall?”

            “I’m dating the best bartender in the world, Harry, did you know that?”                            

            “I did.”

            Liam smiled, looking a bit embarrassed, but Harry smiled back, looking over to his other friend to see if he was in the same predicament. To Harry’s surprise, Zayn seemed pretty sober, greeting Harry with a smile.

            “Glad you could join us, mate.”

            “Thanks.”

            “Want anything to drink?” Liam offered.

            “Not what Niall is having,” Harry laughed. “I have to drive home.”

            “I’ll get you something light.”

            Harry gave an appreciative smile before glancing to the stage. He looked away quickly, but then had to do a double take, smile turning to a frown.

            “What is _he_ doing here?!” he demanded.

            “He works here, silly!” Niall exclaimed. “Remember, this is where you met, when Zayn passed out on the bar?!”

            “Like you will tonight,” Zayn muttered.

            “No, I know that,” Harry said, eyeing a scantily clad Louis, who was dancing for a tipper. “But he’s sick. He shouldn’t be here.”

            “Still gotta make money,” Niall said.

            “Isn’t that what he’s getting married for?”

            For some reason, Niall found that very funny.

            “I agree with you, Harry,” Liam assured the man as he placed a drink in front of him. “He shouldn’t be here, but try telling his stubborn arse that.”

            “Hey, hey! Remember when Zayn totally groped his arse like it was heaven?” Niall asked before laughing again.

            “I don’t like you drunk,” Zayn commented. Harry turned away from them, facing the stage again. Louis was smiling and looked even less sick than usual, probably due to the excess makeup he had on-and he had a lot because the bruise on his knee was covered. Only his body had visibly changed, but it wasn’t like he was a stick. He still had a nice shape, so he guessed he couldn’t really be mad at the men groping him and acting like everything was normal.

            But he still was angry. Very, very angry.

            Louis didn’t head over right away when he was done with his routine, and Harry thought that maybe something was wrong, but right before he asked, Louis swept around the corner and behind the bar, sneaking behind Liam to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. He apparently hadn’t seen Harry yet, because when he turned and they locked eyes, Louis stopped mid-drink.

            “What are you doing here?” he asked when he’d pulled the bottle away from his lips and remembered how to swallow.

            “I asked the same thing about you,” Harry told him.

            “I work here,” Louis said.

            “You really think that’s a good idea?”

            “I’m sorry, but you’re again acting like I have a choice.”

            “Stop the fighting!” Niall shouted, causing a few people in the near vicinity to turn and look. Niall didn’t care. “You two drive me absolutely nuts! Just kiss and tell each other you’re in love already! For fuck’s sake, it’s not that hard!”

            Silence fell around the group, no one knowing who exactly to look at-but Louis definitely avoiding looking at Harry.

            “I just came to get some water,” Louis said after a moment. “I’m going to get ready for the next dance now.”

            “No more drinks for you, babe,” Liam said to his boyfriend, taking his half full glass and handing it to Harry instead. “Drink up. I’ll drive you home if need be.”

            Harry wasn’t going to argue with that.

            It was abnormally quiet for a few more minutes until one of the other strippers-Chet, Harry thought, made his way behind the bar.

            “Hey, what do you need?” Liam asked, smiling at the guy.

            “Oh, I’m good, darling, thanks. Louis just told me to come and get you for him.”

            “Is he okay?” Liam asked, forehead creasing with concern. Chet shrugged.

            “Go on,” Niall said, suddenly sounding much more sober. “I can handle it out here for a couple minutes. I’ve watched you enough.”

            “Are you sure?” Liam asked, concern growing as Niall unsteadily hopped off his chair.

            “Promise,” Niall said, smacking a kiss onto his boyfriend’s lips after making his way to the back of the bar.

            “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

            Liam headed off and it took everything Harry had not to follow.

            Despite Niall having no experience with bartending-and being quite under the influence-he did pretty well. It took him a little longer than Liam to find the right alcohols and such, and he made a bit of a mess, but in the end, everyone got what they wanted and no one complained. He even earned a few tips, which he set aside for his boyfriend.

            “I found my calling,” Niall announced when Liam had returned, his poker face in place, and after he had given Niall a kiss on the cheek, told him he could go sit back down and that he was the best.

            “Is he alright?” Harry asked.

            “Oh yeah, he’s fine,” Liam answered. “Happy birthday, by the way, Harry.”

            “What?” Harry asked, brow furrowing in confusion. “It’s not my birthday.”

            “Well, we’re pretending.”

            “Uh…okay…”

            “Birthday people get a drink on the house _and_ a free lap dance!” Niall explained. Yeah, he had definitely spent too much time stalking Liam at his job.

            “Thanks, I guess,” Harry said, accepting another of whatever Niall had.

            “Louis wants to give you a lap dance,” Liam explained, looking a bit amused that Harry hadn’t put the pieces together, and even more amused when Harry’s mouth dropped open.

            “I have _got_ to see this,” Niall said.

***

            Harry was a bundle of nerves as he walked to the stage, though he didn’t know why. It was just Louis. Sure, it was Louis, who was shirtless and wearing shorts that showed off his package quite well, along with the bottom of that lovely butt, but it was still Louis; Louis who would be grinding up against him in a minute, but just Louis.

            Harry was going to die.

            Louis was already on stage when Harry approached-being shoved none too nicely by his Irish friend-and, though he smiled, Harry thought he saw a bit of nerves on his face too.

            “Happy birthday,” he said with a wink after he had danced over to help him up onstage and into the chair.

            “I’m going to die.”

            Oops. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

            Louis laughed as he settled himself onto Harry’s lap, moving his hips back and forth gently as one hand rested on Harry’s shoulder.

            “You’re not allowed to die on me, Curly. That’s not part of the plan.”

            Harry stayed quiet, eyes roaming across Louis’s smooth skin.

            “Touch me,” Louis said, and if Harry wasn’t turned on before, then he definitely was then.

            “I…I can’t,” Harry stuttered, not trusting his body if he did.

            “You can,” Louis insisted, hips picking up speed as he grabbed Harry’s hand and placed them on either side of them.

 _Oh god, I can feel them rolling,_ Harry thought, internally freaking out and, oh, he could feel Louis’s bulge too.

            Harry wanted desperately to take him backstage right then.

            When he locked eyes with Louis again, he saw that the nerves had faded from his face and he was smirking, just like the first time Harry had seen him. Instead of disgusting him, it only made to turn Harry on more. It was then that he realized he wasn’t nervous anymore either, just…hot. Really, really hot.

“I wanted to do this the first time I saw you,” Louis said, scooting his body forwards elegantly as he whispered against Louis’s skin.

            “Glad you are now.”

            “You’re beautiful, Harry.”

            “I love you, Louis.”

            Harry hadn’t meant to say that out loud either, and panicked for a moment, thinking he ruined the moment. Louis did freeze, pulling back to study Harry’s face, mouth turned down, but then he just laughed.

            “Shit,” he said, amused, beginning to move again, and Harry didn’t know what was so funny, but he was just glad that Louis didn’t stop whatever he was doing, so he smiled too. Besides, it felt so good to finally say it. Maybe next time he would hear it back.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, I know. Two chapters in two days. Hope that's okay :)

            There was a minor detail about Kelsey’s birthday party that both she and Louis had forgotten to mention. It wasn’t just a day trip to London. No, they were spending the night there, in a hotel. The girls had one bedroom while the men were sharing another. That meant, of course, that Harry would be sharing a bed with either Liam or Louis. He had a hunch that it was going to be the latter.

            It shouldn’t be a big deal, and Harry guessed it wasn’t. They had already shared a bed when Harry had stayed over, but that was a spur of the moment thing. He hadn’t had all day to think about sharing a bed with Louis-and all of the possibilities it could bring.

            Logically, he knew that anything other than literal sleeping wouldn’t happen. For one, Liam was going to be in the room and, also, Louis was still, for the moment, engaged.

            But still, Harry’s mind ran wild. He blamed the lap dance.

            Since Kelsey was bringing along four friends, all preteen girls who had packed basically their whole bedrooms, the group took separate cars; Liam driving Kelsey, Mackenzie and one other friend (who seemed quite smitten with him…Harry would have to tell Niall) while Louis and Harry took the other two.

            “Is this your fiancé?” one of them, who apparently wasn’t around very often, had asked Louis, who had blushed and stammered out his ‘no’ in a way that made Harry a little smug.

            Despite that, the girls seemed to love Louis and were completely comfortable riding way out to London with him, even without the birthday girl present. Louis was a natural with kids. Actually, he was a natural with everybody, it seemed. If Harry managed to steal him away from his fiancé, he vowed to himself to never take the other for granted.

            Liam’s group beat the others to the hotel and were waiting in the lobby when they arrived, cheering as they saw them enter.

            “Finally!” Kelsey exclaimed dramatically.

            “You’ve been waiting for ten minutes, calm down, you almost-teenager,” Louis said, though was smiling. Kelsey smiled too.

            After putting their luggage in their respective bedrooms (connected by a single door on the inside), the group all went to eat lunch. Louis and Harry shared a meal, as neither was starving, and Harry felt good that Louis was able to eat almost his entire half. Kelsey seemed to notice too and didn’t stop smiling.

            A trip to the mall was in place next because, even though they had malls near where they lived, the girls claimed the London mall would be better.

          Inside, the guys offered to let the girls do their own thing, but Kelsey insisted on them all staying, seeming a little upset at the thought of her brother not being around, even for an hour or so.

          Liam seemed to become one of the girls, even if against his will, but he didn’t complain as they decked him out in sunglasses, jewelry, pink boas and granny hats. Harry sent every one of the pictures to Niall, who responded with things such as, “beautiful,” “gorgeous,” “my man is so sexy,” and, “Hey, I don’t want to worry Lou, but are babies supposed to poop this much?”

            Harry snorted at that last one, causing Louis to give him a curious look. Harry showed him the message, and he laughed too.

            When the girls had visited every store in the mall (or every appropriate store), they finally decided to leave. They dropped their bags off at the hotel real quick and then ventured back out, the kids deciding they wanted to go on the London Eye. It was nice, though it did make Louis quite dizzy and nauseous, so Harry went to sit with him on a bench for a few minutes afterwards while Liam took the girls to pick out a cake for that evening and get Louis something for his hiccups.

            “Do you want to go back to the hotel?” Harry asked after a few minutes of rest. Louis was lying with his head in Harry’s lap, eyes closed as the other man played with his hair.

            “No, I’m feeling better already,” Louis said.

            “You sure?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Alright, I’m glad.”

            Both fell silent for a moment before Harry spoke again.

            “So I have a job prospect that seems really promising.”

            “Really?” Louis asked, opening his eyes to look up at Harry. That was apparently a bad idea because he winced and re-shut them.

            “Yeah,” Harry said, working his fingers through Louis’ hair again. His face relaxed.

            “What is it?”

            “A surprise.”

            “A surprise?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Can’t you at least tell _me_?”  

           “No,” Harry answered, not mentioning that it was a surprise for him, as Niall and Zayn had been informed the previous day.

            “Then why did you bring it up?”

            “Just wanted you to know.”

            “Is it a job that will support two girls?”

            “Yes.”

            _Probably_ , Harry thought, but didn’t say anything. Somehow, if necessary, he would make it all work out.

            “Hmm,” Louis hummed. Harry dropped it then. He would push more later, but decided to let that seed take root in Louis’ head first.

            It wasn’t too much longer before the others were heading back, Kelsey in the lead. She put a finger to her lips, signaling for Harry to stay quiet, and he raised a questioning eyebrow, but didn’t say a word.

            “Louis!” Kelsey shouted once she was a bit closer. “Louis, Billy is here!”

            “What?!” Louis asked, bolting upright so fast that Harry was sure he had to be dizzy again, but his eyes scanned the area frantically, searching for his fiancé as he ran a nervous hand through his hair.

            “Just kidding,” Kelsey said. “I was just trying to scare your hiccups away.”

            “You’re a little devil,” Louis said, glaring playfully. Kelsey beamed.

            “Do you still feel sick?” she asked as Mackenzie handed Louis a cup of water.

            “No, I’m fine,” Louis assured the girl after thanking her friend. “Sorry about that.”

            “It’s okay,” Kelsey said, giving him a one armed hug around the waist as he stood.

            “What now?” Louis asked.

            (And he never again hiccupped that day.)

***

            The rest of the afternoon went smoothly and it wasn’t much longer before the girls wanted to go back to the hotel so they could change and give each other makeovers before dinner. Louis allowed them to close the door separating their rooms as long as they kept it unlocked. Liam went onto the balcony to call Niall, and Louis and Harry rested on the farthest bed, flipping through the television channels without really paying much attention to what they were landing on.

            “What time do we need to leave?” Harry asked.

            “Reservations are at six thirty so, like, six ten?” Louis thought out loud, yawning and groaning before getting under the sheets. Without being asked, Harry got up to turn down the air.

            “I can wake you up before it’s time to go if you want to fall asleep,” he offered.

            “Don’t wanna be boring,” Louis mumbled, eyes fighting to stay open.

            “You’re not boring,” Harry said. “I might fall asleep too, but I’ll set my alarm for five fifty. Sound good?”

            “Mm…mhm.”

            Harry set his alarm-though he didn’t actually plan on falling asleep-and then got underneath the sheets himself. Louis scooted closer.

            “Have a good nap,” Louis spoke, voice already going hoarse.

            “You too,” Harry said, kissing Louis’s forehead, though his eyes didn’t want to leave the other’s lips.

            In about a minute, Louis had fallen asleep.

            “Aww,” Liam cooed quietly, only half teasingly, when he entered the room again. Harry gave a slight smile.

            “How are the boy and the baby?” he whispered.

            “Fine. Mostly.”

            “Mostly?”

            “I don’t think Niall realized that Lily’s a bit too old to just lay in her bassinet and that she likes to crawl and get into, well, everything.”

            Harry laughed, looking over to make sure the sound didn’t disturb Louis. He hadn’t moved.

            “He might need a bit of practice before you have or adopt your own,” Harry said to Liam.

            “There’s plenty of time then.”

            Liam went to sit on his own bed and pulled out his phone to scroll absently for a minute or two.

            “Hey, given everything, I don’t think it would be a bad idea to have each other’s numbers,” he said to Harry, not taking his eyes from the screen.

            “Oh, yeah, sure,” Harry replied, smiling and rolling over to face him, so as not to be rude.

            “I’m really glad you’re back in Louis’s life,” Liam continued after the two had saved each other’s numbers. “I’m sorry about the circumstances, though.”

            “Yeah. How are you doing, by the way?”

            Harry had been so wrapped up in himself, as usual, that he hadn’t even thought to ask how anyone else was doing. Louis and Liam were best friends, so he knew it had to be hard on the other guy too. Maybe, somehow, even harder for him than it was for Harry.

            “I’m okay,” Liam said. “Just taking it day by day and all that. Not much I can do.”

            “How long have you and Louis been friends?”

            “Forever, basically,” Liam said with a smile. “Since we were seven, so over half our lives at least.”

            “Meet in school?”

            “No, we met at the hospital. I don’t know if you know, but Louis was sick then too. I wasn’t _that_ sick, just was recovering from a mildly severe allergic reaction to some medication. Anyway, Louis liked to take his dog around to the other kids’ rooms and try to make them feel better. I was quite a wuss, and since my mum and dad had gone to do something-I don’t quite remember what anymore-I was scared that I was alone in the hospital, convinced they weren’t coming back, and so I was crying a lot. Louis came in with the dog and saw that I was upset, so he just hopped up on my bed, not even asking what was wrong. He just introduced himself and started talking about Batman because I had this Batman watch that I refused to take off, even then. There he was, this kid that was so much sicker than I was, and he was just trying to comfort me, and it worked. He stayed until my mum got back, and then came back the next day to see if I was okay. He spent a while in my room that day and didn’t leave until the nurse made him. That was that, I guess. From then on, we were best friends. I got out of the hospital the next day, but I made my mum take me to see him every day, whether he was at home or the hospital, and if she couldn’t, Louis made his mum or dad come get me.”

            “That’s so cute,” Harry said, smiling and hoping the rest of his emotions weren’t showing because the story got to him a little. That was just always how Louis was then, thinking of everyone else before himself and being the strong one, no matter how much he was suffering. “You’ve been here with him through a lot then.”

            “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I don’t know how much I’m really helping.”

            “A lot, I’m sure.”

            Liam only smiled, but the appreciation was written on his face and Harry smiled again himself.

***

            The girls went all out with their makeovers for dinner, wearing their fanciest new outfits and more makeup than was probably typical for their age, with their hair curled or done up with different accessories. Louis told them all that they looked beautiful, complimenting them on different aspects of their wardrobe so they wouldn’t think he was just saying that.

            Dinner took a while, as they also did presents and cake. Harry had gotten Kelsey something too; tickets for her and the friends she’d brought along to go see the one boy band that she was obsessed with. Louis had freaked out when Harry mentioned it (he’d had to make sure Kelsey still liked them, of course), saying it was way too much, but Harry insisted, and was glad he did, because the girls were clearly happy, unable to contain their excitement and shrieking so loudly that Liam and Louis had to tell them three times that they were going to be kicked out of the restaurant if they didn’t calm down.

            “Who’s coming with us?” Kelsey asked, having already correctly assumed that the extra ticket was for a chaperone.

            “Don’t know yet,” Harry said. “one of the mums or dads, or me if no one else can.”

            “I think you should come,” Kelsey said. “The one that wears the fedoras is looking awfully cute these days.”

***

            It was back to the hotel after dinner, as the girls wanted to pick out which of their new outfits they were probably going to wear to the concert that was still two months away, and even from between the door, the guys could hear constant giggling.

            “I don’t think we’re getting any sleep tonight,” Liam commented, but he was smiling and didn’t seem bothered by it.

            “Probably not,” Louis agreed.

            “How do you feel, Lou?”

            “Perfectly fine, Liam. Why? Are you trying to tell me that I look like shit?”

            “Not at all. I was just going to say that I think I can handle the girls by myself for a bit if you and Harry would like to go do something.”

            “I don’t know…”

            Louis glanced at Harry, who kept his face neutral even though getting some alone time with Louis sounded amazing to him.

            “They were talking about doing manicures tonight so, no offense, but I don’t think you’ll be missed,” Liam added.

            “I guess I’ll ask Kelsey if she cares,” Louis said, then turned to Harry. “I mean, if you want to do something.”

            “Yeah, that’s fine with me.”

            Nodding, Louis went to open the adjoining door, causing all of the girls to scream and Louis to jump.

            “Oi, what was that about? Did you think you were getting busted reading gay fan fiction Because I already know you do that, so…”

            “Lou!” Kelsey groaned.

            “Just saying. I did the same thing at your age, nothing to be ashamed of. Anyways, would any one of you care if Harry and I went somewhere for a bit? Liam will be right over here.”

            “No,” the girl that Harry was pretty sure had a crush on the bartender answered right away.

            “You should go out with Harry,” Kelsey agreed.

            “You sure?”

            “Yes. Be safe! Have fun!”

            “Alright. You girls have fun too, just not so much fun that they make us leave the hotel.”

***

            Louis told Harry it was up to him what they did, so Harry took him to a comedy club. He felt himself falling harder every time Louis laughed, and, on the way out, Louis held his hand like it was just second nature.

            “I don’t want to go back yet,” Louis commented before Harry could ask.

            “Alright,” the other man agreed. “What now then?”

            “Can we just walk around for a bit?”

            “Sounds good to me.”

            _Especially if you’re going to keep holding my hand_ , Harry thought, and Louis did.

            “Do you like tattoos?” Louis asked as they passed by a late night tattoo parlor, probably owned by someone who didn’t care if someone tried to sue them for letting them get permanently inked with something stupid while under the influence. Harry would probably pay to see some of them, actually.

            “I love tattoos,” he answered Louis’s question. “I’ve always wanted one, but I want it to mean something. I haven’t had much that actually means a lot to me yet.”

            “Yeah, I’ve always wanted one too.”

            “Well, why don’t you get one?”

            “Billy doesn’t like them.”

            “So? It’s your body.”

            “Yeah, but it’s not worth him telling me how disgusting it looks every time he sees it.”

            “Come on,” Harry said, walking towards the parlor entrance.

            “Wha-no, Harry. I can’t.”

            “When is your birthday?”

            “December, but what…Harry-”

            “It’s your early birthday present then.”

            “I can’t.”

            “Can’t? Like you absolutely _cannot_ , or you won’t because of what _he_ thinks about them?”

            Louis didn’t quite know what to say to that, but that answered Harry’s question.

            “That’s what I thought. Do you want a tattoo, Louis?”

            “I do…”

            “Then come on. I’ll hold your hand the entire time if you’re scared.”

            Harry winked and Louis smiled, following him into the shop after that.

            Louis didn’t even have to think about what he wanted, so apparently he’d had it in his mind for a while. It was a fairly big tattoo, a phrase written across his chest, ‘it is what it is.’

            Getting the tattoo was clearly a painful experience, but Louis was still smiling the entire time, even if he didn’t let go of Harry’s hand once.

            “Billy is going to hate it,” Louis commented as he admired the work in a mirror.

            “Do you like it?” Harry asked.

            “I love it.”

            “Then that’s all that matters.”

            “Yeah,” Louis agreed. “Yeah, you’re right.”

***

            Whether the girls were asleep or not when they arrived back at the hotel, the boys didn’t know, but they were quiet, at least, and Liam was asleep, spread out across the bed so that Harry was really going to have no choice but to share with Louis.

            They washed up together and, though he looked exhausted, Louis told Harry to go on to bed and that he would be there in a minute; he needed fresh air. Harry didn’t want to leave him alone, but felt as if that was what Louis was aiming for, so he laid in bed while Louis went out to the balcony. Harry didn’t fall asleep, but he did manage to go into a trance-like state, unaware of the time or his body; unaware of anything but Louis, out sitting on the balcony. Everything was about Louis.

            It was almost Saturday, one day until the wedding, and Harry was freaking out. He’d made progress with Louis, but there was still no mention of calling off the wedding. If Harry didn’t hurry, Louis would be married in just over twenty four hours, and that would be it for Harry. That would be it for _Louis_ , who Harry knew would never do treatments after he said ‘I do.’ He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t watch Louis die, not when he was so close to helping him. He couldn’t bury Louis without knowing that he-that both of them-had given it their all. He couldn’t…

            Harry pulled himself from his semi-conscious state, sweat pouring off his body like he’d had a nightmare. Sure, he’d turned the air down for Louis, but his heart was racing like he’d had a nightmare too, though he hadn’t. In fact, he was living on the edge of a dream and a nightmare, and how the next day played out would determine which one he would fall into.

            Peering outside, Harry saw Louis still sitting out there. It was nearing one in the morning now! Harry had been out of it for much longer than he’d thought, and Louis should definitely have gone to bed by now.

            Pushing himself out of bed, Harry hurried to the balcony door, opening it with enough urgency to startle Louis, who jumped and looked over at him quickly. Even in the dark, Harry could see the tear stains on his cheeks and the redness that rimmed his eyes.

            “Lou, what’s wrong?” he asked, stepping out and shutting the door quietly.

            “What _isn’t_ wrong?” Louis retorted, turning his head away. Harry placed his hand on his cheek.

            “You feel a bit warm. Are you feeling sick again?”

            “I _always_ feel sick, Harry. I _am_ sick. I’m fucking dying!”

            Harry had stayed strong for Louis when he first found out the other had cancer, he’d stayed (mostly) strong after the zoo, when he’d witnessed part of just how fast things had gone downhill and he’d held in his emotions when Louis had broken down in the driveway before he’d asked Harry to stay, so fuck it. He wasn’t stopping the tears this time.

            “But, Lou…,” he said, his voice soft, but strong. “You’re not even trying to get better.”

            “Because I can’t, Harry!”

            “You’ve beat it before, Lou.”

            “No, not that. I could maybe, possibly, get better, yes, but I could also die.”

            “But isn’t living worth a shot?”

            “You don’t understand.”

            “So make me.”

            Louis sighed, turning to face Harry again, and he looked alarmed when he saw the emotion Harry was expressing.

            “Don’t cry, Harry, please.”

            “Make me understand, Louis.”

            Louis sighed again.

            “I have the girls to think about.”

            “Yeah, but they want you better.”

            “But if I try and still don’t get better, they won’t have anywhere to go. Liam would try, I know, and Mackenzie’s mum too, maybe, but nothing is guaranteed. I need to _know_ that they’ll be taken care of, and Billy…he won’t marry me if I’m going to be sick from chemo, or if I’m going to live. I’m not stupid; I know what this is about. He likes the attention he’s getting from marrying a dying man and taking in his two sisters. He likes that the cute guy at work thinks he’s the sweetest thing and is going to be there for when I’m gone while he grieves for an appropriate amount of time and then they get together. Billy is far from perfect, and his reasons are selfish, but I know the girls will at least have a safe, stable home. They’ll still have everyone else they know in their lives. They’ll live in the same place. I said it before, but I want to be the last thing they have to lose for a long, long time, and I just…I don’t know how else to give them that.”

            Harry was crying harder, but mainly from anger then.

            “This whole time…you’ve wanted to do treatments, haven’t you? You want to get better.”

            Louis bit his lip, eyes welling up with more tears before he finally cracked again.

            “I don’t want to die, Harry, fuck. I’m twenty-three! My life may not have been going great, but I have two beautiful girls who I was trying to give a great life to. This wasn’t ever part of the plan.”

            Harry sunk to his knees, both because his legs were going weak and so Louis wouldn’t have to keep looking up at him, placing a hand on the other’s knee to balance himself.

            “Then marry me, Louis.”

            “What?!” Louis asked, wiping his eyes and acting like he wanted to laugh but was unable to.

            “I’ll marry you, Louis, even if you’re sick from doing treatments…even if you’re not. I’ll take the girls in, even if you don’t make it. And even if you do.”

            “Harry…”

            “It doesn’t have to be permanent, Lou. Even if we’re only married until you get better and then you want to leave…but you deserve a fighting chance. You said the girls are worth all of the sacrifices, and they are, but this is your _life_. I understand they’re worth that too, but it shouldn’t be like this. You deserve a chance, Louis. I love you, I meant it when I said that, but if that’s not what you need…not what you want, then I’m okay with that too, but whether you’re mine or not, _I_ need you to try to get better because that’s what you really want. And it’s okay if you can’t. Don’t blame yourself. It will hurt, but it wouldn’t be your fault. None of this is your fault, even now, but…please, Lou, please.”

            Louis was quiet for a long while, the gears noticeably turning in his head. Harry’s knees started to hurt, there on the hard concrete, but he didn’t dare move, afraid that even the slightest wind would cause all hope for his future with Louis-for Louis’s future-to be swept away.

            “You said you have something in place,” Louis finally said. Harry’s heart skipped a beat.

            “Yes, I do. I have a plan, Louis. You’ll be taken care of. The girls will be taken care of. I promise.”

            “And…you said…”

            Louis trailed off, his eyes closing tight and hands forming fists on his thighs.

            “Lou?!” Harry asked, panicked.

            “You said you love me,” Louis said, eyes still shut, but voice strong and steady.

            “Yes, I do, Louis, so much. I love you so much.”

            A moment passed before Harry spoke again.

            “Please, Lou, you have to know I’m telling the truth. I mean, I clearly always say how I feel, even if I shouldn’t.”

            Louis gave a snotty laugh, then said ‘eww’ at himself and laughed again as a small one escaped from Harry’s mouth.

            “I love you,” Harry said again. “And it’s true love, Lou, because I love you even when you make disgusting snot noises with your nose.”

            “Shut up!” Louis said, laughing again, face suddenly brightening up. Harry smiled and stood. Louis got to his feet as well.

            “Stay here,” he said. “I need a tissue, but we’re not done with this conversation.”

            “Okay,” Harry chuckled.

            “Do you need one?”

            “I’m fine, thanks.”

            Louis went inside and, as instructed, Harry stayed on the balcony, only moving to lower himself into the chair Louis had abandoned. He was shaking and felt a bit like he was going to throw up, but in a good way, if that made any sense. He knew he wouldn’t anyway, and embraced the feeling of pure hope that was running through him. Louis hadn’t really given an answer one way or the other, but he hadn’t changed the subject. They were going to talk about it. In Harry’s eyes, they were halfway there.

            When Louis came back outside, he sat himself onto Harry’s lap, facing him, and put his arms around his neck. He seemed calmer, but didn’t speak. Neither spoke for a little while, Louis concentrating on the pattern of Harry’s shirt and Harry looking at every perfect detail of Louis’s face. They weren’t crying anymore, and though Louis’s cheeks were still streaked and his eyes swollen, Harry thought he’d never looked more beautiful.

            “Okay,” Louis finally sighed.

            “Okay?” Harry asked, dizzy.

            “I love you too,” Louis said.

            “Is there a but?” Harry asked. “There’s going to be a but, isn’t there?”

            “There is,” Louis said. Just like that, Harry’s eyes burned with tears again.

            “Don’t cry,” Louis said again. “I do love you, Harry, and I would love to marry you, but-”

            “There shouldn’t be any buts, Louis! We love each other, I’ll be good for you, you’ll be good for me…there’s no reason _not_ to do this! Why are you so reluctant to accept help from someone who actually loves you and wants the best for you?!”

            “You have a _really_ bad habit of interrupting people. Have you noticed?” Louis asked rhetorically, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Harry swallowed, still wanting to cry because now he was just confused.

            “Aww, babe,” Louis said, wiping one of the other’s tears that managed to escape from his eyes. Harry’s heart fluttered at the pet name.

            “I’m sorry I interrupted,” he said. “What were you going to say?”

            “Thank you for apologizing. Anyways, as I was saying, I would love to marry you, but the only thing is, we haven’t even properly kissed yet.”

            “Oh,” Harry said, relieved and bordering on elated, and maybe he was going to throw up from the roller coaster his insides were doing. Or just pass out. Probably the last one.

            “Think we should take care of that?” Louis asked, head tilted as his hands roamed up Harry’s stomach and to his chest, his right hand stopping right on his heart. Yes, Harry probably should lie down, he thought, but wait, that wasn’t what Louis was talking about. A kiss. He was talking about a kiss. Louis was asking if they should kiss, and hadn’t Harry been trying to do that for a while now?! Oh well, no matter.

            “I might fall in love with you,” Harry finally replied, mouth turning up as he remembered Louis saying that when he’d try to kiss him on their first real date.

            “I might already be in love with you,” Louis repeated Harry’s previous words. Harry beamed.

            “Yeah, I am too, if you hadn’t gathered…”

            “Hmm…,” Louis hummed, but he was smiling as he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Harry’s, both of their eyes closing immediately. It was so soft, so tender, but so passionate…It felt like Harry’s first kiss, but much less awkward, and in a way, it was. It was his first kiss that had meant something; that meant everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I just really like Louis's chest tattoo.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in four days. Apparently this is what happens when I don't have school. Can I just get a degree in fan fic writing? ;)

_I’m engaged_ , was the first thing on Harry’s mind when he woke the next morning. He wasn’t only engaged, but engaged to _Louis_. At that time the previous day, they hadn’t even been dating. Louis had been engaged to someone else. Technically, he was still engaged to someone else, but not for much longer, Harry thought smugly.

            He kept his eyes shut for a little while, smiling to himself as he tried to wrap his mind around the last night’s events. It had been an emotional roller coaster for the both of them and he knew the ride wasn’t quite over yet, but the worst part was finished. It was hills from this point, not loops.

Or at least he hoped.

            From beside him, Louis gave a small cough and Harry finally opened his eyes, turning his head to look at the man lying there, still asleep. Gently laying his hand on the other’s cheek, Harry noted that he felt a bit warm. He’d felt warm last night too, Harry remembered, and hoped he wasn’t catching anything.

            Deciding to stock up, just in case, Harry sat up and stretched before getting out of bed. On his way to the bathroom, he could hear Liam’s voice through the door leading to the girls’ room. It sounded as if he was trying to wake them up and Harry smiled, though pitied him for that chore.

            After taking the quickest shower of his life and checking on Louis again, Harry went down to the breakfast area. Liam, Kelsey and the friend who had a thing for Liam (Brooke, Harry remembered), were already there, eating cheerily despite being woken at such an early hour (if you could call eight thirty early.)

            “Good morning!” Kelsey greeted when she saw Harry walking towards them.

            “Good morning to you. Did you ladies have fun last night?”

            “Yes! Look at my nails!”

            “They’re very pretty. I love that shade of blue,” Harry complimented.

            “Liam’s nails are done too,” Brooke added and, sure enough, Liam’s nails were now bright pink and sparkled. Harry basically cackled.

            “Excuse you, I think they’re gorgeous,” Liam said, slight smile on his face.

            “No, they are stunning. Your manicurist did a lovely job.”

            “Thank you,” Brooke said.

            “Are you going to eat with us?” Kelsey asked. Harry almost politely declined, as he wanted to get back to the room before Louis woke, but then figured he had time to at least eat a little something. It had been a busy day and night for Louis, so he would probably sleep for a little while longer.

            “Alright,” he agreed.

            It was hard for him to not break the news right then and tell everyone that he and Louis were getting married, but somehow he managed to hide his excitement. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep it a secret, but he just wanted Louis to be there when they told them, as he knew Louis would want too.

            The other three girls joined shortly and Harry used that as his chance to get back to the room, first gathering a Danish and some eggs for Louis, as well as a cup of orange juice to hopefully fight off any nasty cold that may be trying to get his fiancé. Then he stopped by the gift shop and bought some Tylenol and also some flowers, just for the heck of it.

            Getting back into the room was quite a task, but Harry somehow did it without waking Louis. He knew he should get him up, though, as checkout wasn’t too far away, so he set the breakfast on the end table and the flowers on Louis’s chest before climbing back into bed and placing kisses from Louis’s neck to his jawline.

            “Mm,” Louis moaned, moving a hand to rub his eyes, which he kept shut.

            “Lou,” Harry said gently, feeling bad and deciding that if Louis protested too much, he would give him at least another thirty minutes or so.

            “So tired,” Louis yawned.

            “I know. I’m sorry. I brought breakfast, if that helps.”

            Louis opened his eyes, glancing at Harry but catching a glimpse of the flowers as he did so, and he diverted his eyes down to them, a smile forming across his face.

            “So pretty,” he said.

            “I’m glad you like them.”

            Louis sat slowly, careful not to damage the flowers, and admired them for a moment longer before putting them back into the vase they had come in.

            “You felt a little warm still,” Harry said. “Do you feel okay?”

            “Yeah, throat’s just a little scratchy. Hope I didn’t pass anything to you.”

            “I’m not worried about that. I got orange juice. Do you want to eat?”

            Louis nodded and Harry handed over the plate, holding Louis’s cup so he wouldn’t have to lean across him any time he wanted a drink.

            “You’re the best fiancé,” Louis commented. Harry beamed.

            “So when are we getting married?”

            “I don’t know. Don’t want to wait too long, obviously. I mean, I don’t want to be sick from treatment when we do.”

            Somehow, Harry smiled bigger.

            “We need to get you a doctor appointment.”

            “I’ll call first thing Monday,” Louis promised.

            “Can I go with you when you go?”

            Louis looked surprised that Harry would request that.

            “Um, yeah, if you want to.”

            “I do.”

            “Harry?”

            “Yeah?”

            “I’m not backing out, but I need to make sure one more time that you know what you’re getting yourself into. I don’t expect you to take care of me, but I’ll need help with the girls. If it’s anything like last time, there will be some days where I’m barely functional, and-”

            “Louis, stop. Sorry, I know I’m interrupting again, but I know what I’m getting myself into and nothing is going to change my mind. I’m going to do everything I can for the girls _and_ you. You don’t always have to be so independent, Lou, Not anymore.”

            Louis smiled, then coughed again and set his almost empty plate on the end table.

            “Guess I should get a shower now. Do you know the status on the girls?”

            “Up and eating breakfast. They may be done by now, actually.”

            “Good. I’ll be out in a few.”

            While Louis was showering, Kelsey came into the room to join Harry, laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, but not saying a word; a somber expression on her face.

            “That’s an awfully sad look for a birthday girl,” Harry commented.

            “It’s not my birthday anymore,” she said, shrugging awkwardly due to her laying position.

            “Anything you would like to talk about?”

            “Yeah, actually. Can you object at a wedding if you’re only twelve years old?”

            “Ah,” Harry said, understanding. “Kels, why don’t you just try talking to your brother first?”

            “I don’t want to make him upset.”

            “You don’t think publicly objecting at his wedding would make him upset?”

            She thought for a minute, then sighed.

            “Yeah, I guess so. I guess there’s nothing I can do.”

            “I’m not saying that,” Harry told her. “You shouldn’t ever have to go along with something you’re uncomfortable with. All I’m saying is that you should tell him how you feel in private, before the wedding.”

            “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?”

            “No. He won’t be mad at you.”

            “Harry…can I say something else?”

            “Anything.”

            “I don’t want him to die.”

            “Talk to him, Kels.”

            “It won’t help.”

            “Why not?”

            “Because he started treatment already and then stopped. He got really sick and told me he just couldn’t do it anymore. When he and Liam argued about it, he told Liam he just didn’t have time. But if he didn’t have Lily and me, I think it would be different. It’s my fault he’s going to die.”

            “Don’t think like that, Kelsey. It’s not your fault.”

            “I feel like it is.”

            Harry didn’t have a chance to respond before Louis exited the bathroom, dressed but hair still dripping tiny drops of water. Kelsey sat up, staring at him with a look of guilt on her face, and he frowned.

            “What’s going on?” he asked.

            “Louis, would you do treatments if you didn’t have me to look after?” Kelsey spoke. Harry wondered if he should leave, but decided to stay in place until someone asked him to.

            “Kelsey, this has nothing to do with you,” Louis said.

            “You’re lying!”

            The girl was crying then, and Louis looked panicked. Kelsey didn’t give him a chance to speak again before continuing.

            “You can go home. I’ll stay in London. Someone can bring Lily to me and I can take care of her while you get better. I’m sure I can find a job somewhere.”

            “Kelsey Renee, you are not staying in London.”

            “Yes I am! And also, this way you won’t have to marry Billy! It’s a perfect idea!”

            “You can’t live alone and raise a baby. You are a _child_.”

            “No I’m not! I’m almost a teenager!”

            “That’s still a child. I get you’re upset. I’m sorry I’m sick. I know it’s hard for you, and I appreciate that you’re willing to take on all that responsibility to help me, but you can’t, and you don’t have to.”

            “I don’t want you to die, Louis!”

            “I know. I don’t either, but treatment doesn’t always work.”

            “Well, you’re not even doing any, so…”

            Despite it all, Louis managed a small smile as he went to sit on Liam’s bed, across from the other two.

            “Can I tell you something?” he asked his sister while glancing at Harry, who nodded.

            “Fine,” Kelsey said, staring down at her lap.

            “First of all, I’m not marrying Billy.”

            Kelsey’s head shot up, shock written all over her face.

            “What?!”

            “Your plan was good, Kels, even if impossible, but Harry and I talked last night and we have a better one.”

            Kelsey glanced over at Harry, who smiled.

            “What do you mean?” she asked, looking at her brother again.

            “I’m going to the doctor next week to talk about starting treatment again, but that doesn’t guarantee anything. I need you to understand that.”

            The girl nodded, biting her lip to keep it from quivering.

            “But I’m going to make an educated guess and say that you like Harry a lot more than Billy, correct?”

            She nodded again.

            “Good. I do too. So how about I marry him instead? He’ll take custody of you then, if need be. How does that sound?”

            Kelsey looked back and forth between the men for a while, mouth dropped open. It was quite amusing, and the guys smiled, waiting patiently for her to come out of her shock.

            “Is this a sick joke?” she finally asked.

            “I’m not _that_ cruel,” Louis said.

            “You two are getting married?!”

            Louis nodded once.

            “Whoa…plot twist!”

            “Eh, this was always how my storyline went,” Harry said, another grin breaking across his face.

            “Does Billy know?! Can I break up with him for you?!”

            “No and no,” Louis said quickly. “I’ll go over and tell him tonight.”

            “This is the best late birthday present ever!” Kelsey exclaimed before running out of the room, completely ignoring Louis when he asked where she was going.

            “I love you,” Harry told the other man, because why not?

            “I love you,” Louis said back, standing from Liam’s bed to crawl on top of Harry, who laid back and smiled. “I want to kiss you,” Louis said.

            “So why aren’t you?”

            “Might be getting sick…er.”

            “Guess I’ll have to stock up on cold medicine then,” Harry said, leaning up to kiss Louis instead. Louis made a noise, but it didn’t sound like one of protest, and soon, he began kissing back. Harry rolled both of them to their sides without breaking their lips’ contact. Louis’s hands balled into fists around Harry’s shirt as his kisses became more and more frantic; hungry. Harry was just about to ask if the door leading to the girls’ room was locked when it was flung open, causing both to jump and sit up, but not quite quickly enough.

            “Holy shit,” Liam breathed, looking like he’d just witnessed a volcano erupting or something. From behind him, five girls erupted into giggles. Kelsey and Mackenzie high-fived.

            “Um…plot twist?” Louis tried.

            “I need to lie down,” said Liam.

            So that wasn’t exactly how Harry had planned for the news to get out, but whatever. It was out and official, and it felt amazing.

            Harry drove on the way back, Kelsey insisting on riding with them that time, along with the two others from before. The three of them spent almost the entire ride planning the guys’ wedding for them, and neither of the men could stop smiling.

            They dropped each of the girls off to their respective homes and then went to Niall’s to pick up Lily. He answered the door, hair sticking every which way and circles under his eyes, looking quite frazzled. Harry couldn’t help but laugh.

            “Rough night then?” he asked.

            “Louis, mate, you’re a saint,” Niall breathed in awe.

            “Zayn and Perrie offered to watch her,” Louis pointed out.

            “Why does Liam want three of these little tornado creatures?” Niall asked.

            “Niall, guess what?!” Kelsey said as he stepped back to allow the three to enter.

            “What? Did you have an awesome time in London?!”

            “Yeah! It was really fun! But guess what else?”

            “Louis and Harry ran off and got married?” he asked, clearly thinking he was funny.

            “No, not yet, silly! They have to plan it out first,” Kelsey said. Niall’s face paled.

***

            “Guess I should tell my mum,” Harry said once back at Louis’s. Kelsey had gone to her room to put her birthday things away and find a safe place for her concert tickets and Lily was down for her afternoon nap, so it was just Harry and Louis lying on the couch, Louis on top of Harry, quiet, but awake.

            “How is your mum?” Louis asked. “I like her. She’ll be a great mother-in-law.”

            Harry smiled.

            “She’s doing well.”

            “Is she going to think you’re crazy when you tell her?”

            “She already thinks I’m crazy,” Harry reasoned.

            “You probably are,” Louis said.

            “Is that a bad thing?”

            “Not all the time.”

            “You’re telling Billy tonight?”

            “Yeah. Guess I should be getting on that since our rehearsals are supposed to be tonight.”

            “Well, that’s awkward.”

            Louis laughed, pushing himself off Harry, his face quickly sobering as he did.

            “You okay?” Harry asked, holding onto Louis’s arms, thinking he’d gotten dizzy.

            “Yeah, just felt sick for a minute. I’m good now, I think.”

            “Here, let me take your temperature,” Harry said, starting to sit up, but Louis laid a hand on his chest.

            “I’m fine. Just nervous, I think.”

            Harry sat up anyway, to place a kiss on the other’s cheek.

            “You want to do this, right?”

            “Yes.”

            “Okay. I’m glad. Do you want me to come with you?”

            “I should do this by myself. Don’t want him to think you put me up to it or anything because it’s _my_ decision. Why don’t you take your mum out to dinner or something and tell her? I want to make sure we have her acceptance.”

            “We will,” Harry promised, stealing a kiss. “But, yeah, she would probably like if I took her to dinner. Are you sure you’re going to be alright though?”

            “I’ll be fine,” Louis said, stealing a kiss for himself. “Take your mum out. I’ll talk to you soon.”

            “I’ll come over afterwards, okay?”

            “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

***

            Anne was, to put it mildly, quite surprised by the news, as she hadn’t even known Louis and Harry were talking again. She was heartbroken to learn about how sick Louis was, though made sure Harry was absolutely positive that he was thinking clearly, not just out of emotion. Never once, however, did she say Harry shouldn’t do it and before they departed, she hugged him and told him that she was proud of him. Harry loved his mother, and knew she loved him too, but that was something he hadn’t heard from her in a while, given that he hadn’t really given her anything to be proud of.

            Checking his phone as he got into his car, Harry didn’t have anything from Louis telling him how it went, but he did have a message from Niall, reading, _‘Holy shit, they just canceled the damn wedding! You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?’_

            He also had one from Liam saying, ‘ _Congrats, mate, but I better still get the best man title :)_ _  
_

Harry replied quickly to those two and then sent Louis a quick text, letting him know that he was on his way.

            When Louis opened the door for him, he greeted him with a smile and a kiss on the cheek. His skin still felt hot, but before Harry had time to say anything about it, Louis had taken his hand and placed something into it. Looking down, Harry saw a key.

            “It’s yours now,” he said.

            “How did everything go?” Harry asked, putting the gift on the key chain with the rest.

            “Fine, I guess. Doesn’t really matter. It’s over now.”

            “But you’re okay?”

            “I am.”

            Louis took Harry’s hand in his, closing the door as he led him to the kitchen.

            “Did you have dessert? I hope not. We need help finishing off this birthday cake.”

            “I think you should take some more medicine,” Harry commented, totally off topic.

            “Already did before you got here. Now stop worrying about me, sit down and eat some cake.”

            “I’m not marrying you so you can be all husband-y and take care of me,” Harry pointed out as Louis forced him into a seat while he went to get him a piece of Kelsey’s leftover birthday cake.

            “And I’m not marrying you so you can take care of me,” Louis said. “This is a convenience wedding, I know that, but, like, our relationship…it’s real, right?”

            “I love you,” Harry said, reaching up as Louis set the plate in front of him to smooth the worry lines that had creased the other’s forehead with his thumb. “Typically, I would have made you my boyfriend before my fiancé, but that doesn’t change anything. This couldn’t be any more real.”

            Louis smiled, sitting down in the chair next to Harry and scooting it closer as he took his first bite.

            “Good,” he said. “A relationship goes both ways then, Harry. I’ll need your help, but I want to do things for you too, even if it’s not much.”

            “Alright,” Harry agreed. “Then may I ask favor?”

            “What is it?”

            “Can I have some milk too?”

            Louis laughed, but got up to pour Harry a glass.

            “Thank you,” Harry said when it was set down in front of him.

            “You’re welcome.”

            “Now I think we have a few things to discuss.”

            “Yeah, maybe just a few.”

            “First of all, I don’t want you working. There won’t be any need for it, and I would feel a lot better if you just rested whenever possible.”

            “Fair enough,” Louis said after debating internally for a few minutes. “Will you tell me what your job prospect is now?”

            “How about I show you tomorrow?”

            “Show me?”

            Harry nodded.

            “Okay, fine,” Louis agreed.

            “Great. Now, do you want an actual, full wedding or just to sign some papers and be done with it?”

            “Let’s do it the simple way,” Louis said. “Then, if I get better and you still want to marry me, we’ll go all out with a wedding and stuff.”

            “Wedding in a couple of years, then. Got it,” Harry said. Louis smiled.

            “What about the living situation? You probably want to stay at your place, right?”

            “Well, I want to live together. I don’t particularly care where. You said you don’t want Kelsey to have to switch schools.”

            “You really would be okay leaving your big flat in your fancy neighborhood for…this?”

            “There’s nothing wrong with this, Louis.”

            Louis stared at Harry for a moment before shaking his head, a small smile forming.

            “What?” Harry asked.

            “Nothing. Just admiring the difference between the Harry who I basically had to beg to say one word to me, and…well…you.”

            “I’ve done some soul searching, if not entirely willingly,” Harry said, also smiling.

            “Well, I’m glad you found it,” Louis told him.

            “I’m glad I found you.”

            “Such a sap.”

            “You love it.”

            “Mhm. I do.”

            Harry reached over, taking Louis’s hand and pulling him gently over to his lap, placing a kiss on his neck once he was settled.

            “Are you staying tonight?” Louis asked.

            “I was hoping so,” Harry replied.

            “Good. You should stay.”

            “Then I will.”

            Louis turned his head, giving Harry a lazy kiss on the lips. It was the first kiss they’d had where Louis was Harry’s and only Harry’s, and it should have been amazing. It was, really, but Harry could feel the heat radiating off Louis’s skin-too much heat-and silently begged the universe or whatever higher powers may be listening to let him be his for a long, long time; knowing that,  no matter what, he would always belong to Louis.

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this was originally going to be twelve chapters total, but that has clearly changed. I don't want to drag it out too long, but I'm thinking 2-3 more chapters. I'll give a warning before the final chapter, I promise :)


	13. Chapter 13

            When Harry woke the next morning, the first things he became aware of were the smell of cooking breakfast and the loud, piercing sounds of a shrieking baby.

            It was perfect.

            Kelsey saw Harry enter the kitchen and dining area before anyone else, and she grinned widely.  

            “Good,” she said. “I wasn’t imagining everything yesterday.”

            “Nope,” Harry replied with a smile before going to take a fussy Lily out of Louis’s arms, kissing the other’s forehead as he did so. With relief, he noted that his skin wasn’t quite so hot that morning.

            “You feel alright?” he asked, closing his eyes as the baby began exploring his face.

            “I’m fine,” Louis said.

            “Good. Now, what is Miss Lily’s problem today?”

            “Who knows?” Kelsey said.

            “Eggs are scrambled. I hope you like them that way,” Louis spoke.

            “Fine with me. Smells good,” Harry complimented.

            “Thank you.”

            Louis moved slowly, stiffly, and Harry wanted to make him sit and take over, but Louis had made it clear the previous day that he didn’t want to be waited on hand and foot, so Harry just paced with Lily, keeping her entertained as the other man finished cooking.

            “So are you up for a little trip to my future place of employment today?” Harry asked once they were all seated and eating, or picking at their food, in Louis’s case.

            “Of course,” he answered.

            “Can I come?” Kelsey asked.

            “I was hoping you would,” Harry told her.

            Louis got Lily ready while Harry took kitchen clean-up duty. He made a mental note to buy a dishwasher at the earliest convenience, though knew to wait until he was on his feet with his career. He didn’t want Louis thinking he was going to recklessly spend money.

            Harry took a quick shower once the dishes were finished and Louis sat outside the bathroom door, patiently waiting and keeping Harry company while he finished getting ready.

            “So I guess you’ll have to put in a two weeks’ notice?” Harry asked, working on a piece of hair that just did not want to cooperate.

            “Yeah, it’s the right thing to do. I work at the mall tomorrow, so I’ll write up my letter and turn that one in then.”

            “You still work both jobs?!”

            “Yeah,” Louis admitted with a sheepish smile, like he knew how much that bothered Harry. “I was off the morning job last week. They wanted me to rest up for the wedding…Guess that was pointless.”

            “Not really,” Harry disagreed. “I got to spend lots of time with you.”

            Louis smiled.

            Figuring his appearance was good enough, Harry turned off the bathroom light and went to hold out a hand and help Louis up.

            “Ready to go?” Harry asked.

            “Ready.”

***

            As Harry pulled up to the empty building, Louis shot him a curious look, but Harry just smiled and got out of the car, hurrying around to open Louis’s door for him.

            “I don’t get it yet,” Louis said as he accepted the hand Harry offered.

            “I’ll explain once we’re in,” Harry promised.

            Kelsey put herself in charge of Lily and carried her in. Even the baby looked curious.

            “I know the place needs a lot of work,” Harry started as he unlocked the door and allowed the others to enter, “but I have a lot of ideas and thought you two could help also. Liam and Niall put themselves in charge of the paint, once we pick a color. I was thinking a light green maybe? Definitely something cheery.”

            “This is your place?” Louis asked, looking around in awe despite the fact that even Harry could admit it wasn’t that impressive. Not yet.

            “It is.”

            “What is it?”

            “Our future pancake house.”

            “Our.”

            “Yes.”

            “And a pancake house?”

            The smile on his fiancé’s face told Harry that he knew exactly why had had chosen that.

            “Yes,” Harry answered anyway. “And my cinnamon pancakes will be the special of the day every day, obviously.”

            “Um, excuse you. Your cinnamon pancakes are good, but my chocolate chip ones are better.”

            “Is that so?”

            “Yep.”

            “Guess you’ll have to prove that to me.”

            “I will, don’t you worry.”

            The men smiled at each other and then Louis took a couple steps forward, leaning against Harry’s chest as the other wrapped his arms around him.

            “I know it could fail, Lou,” Harry said, completely serious then, “but I promise I’ll find something else if it does. You don’t have to worry.”

            “It won’t fail,” Louis said, sounding confident.

            “How do you know?” Harry asked.

            “Because I know you well enough to know that you always get everything you want.”

            “Not _everything_ ,” Harry said before giving Louis a kiss. “Just the important things.”

            “Awww!” Kelsey shrieked. The guys laughed, Louis stepping out of Harry’s arms.

            “But, yeah, I think light green would look good in here,” he said.

***

            After leaving the restaurant-to-be, they stopped by Harry’s house so he could gather the more important things, like clothes, and take them to Louis’s place. And his place too, now. Harry knew he would have to put his house for sale soon and decide what he wanted and what he didn’t, but there was time for that. The most pressing matter was, of course, Louis’s health.

            “You’re calling the doctor tomorrow, right?” Harry asked as he parked the car in his driveway and everyone climbed out, Kelsey with the baby again.

            “Yeah, I’ll call before I go to work in the morning.”

            “And you’ll take the first available appointment, even if that means calling off work?”

            Louis looked very uncomfortable with that thought, but at the look Harry gave, he agreed.

***

            “I don’t think all of your stuff is going to fit in my flat,” Louis commented as he opened Harry’s closet and found the extensive wardrobe he had. Kelsey, in the meantime, had taken Lily to watch TV on the big screen.

            “I’ll get rid of it,” Harry said.

            “I don’t want you to have to get rid of your things.”

            “It’s just stuff, Lou. I bought it all thinking it would make me happy, but it didn’t. You do. I don’t need these things.”

            Louis smiled, but before they could discuss the matter any further, his phone rang. Pulling it from his back pocket, he checked caller ID and his smile turned to a slight frown before he accepted the call.

            “Hi, Joe…Yeah, everything is fine…Didn’t you get my message?...I swear I left one…No, no, it’s fine. I’m probably just crazy. It’s just that the wedding is…”

            Louis paused, glancing at Harry and smiling a bit before speaking into the phone again.

            “Actually, do you mind waiting there for a little while? I’m really sorry.”

            The person on the other line, some guy named Joe, apparently, said something, and Louis’s smile grew.

            “Thanks so much. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks again.”

            “Everything okay?” Harry asked as his fiancé hung up the phone.

            “It appears that I may have forgotten to call the ordained minister and tell him there wasn’t going to be a wedding.”

            “Oh…,” Harry said, and then realization struck. “Oh!”

            “Yeah. I’m a bit flighty sometimes…So, Curly, wanna go get married?”

***

            Louis drove while Harry called everyone. Well, not everyone, but the main people like Liam, Niall, Zayn and Perrie, his mother, Mackenzie and her mom, and Chet, the stripper. They all agreed to meet them at the wedding spot immediately, except Anne, whom they saved the trip by picking her up.

            “Mum, I told you it was casual,” Harry said as his mother slid into the backseat next to Kelsey, decked out in her fanciest dress and diamonds.

            “I am _not_ wearing jeans to my only child’s wedding,” she spoke, as if Harry was absurd to think such a thing were possible

            “Today is the marriage,” Harry told her. “The _wedding_ wedding will be in a couple years or so.”

            “I think you look lovely, Anne,” Louis said.

            “Well, thank you, Louis. Kelsey, it’s been a while. How are you doing?”

            There wasn’t a moment of silence during the forty-five minute drive, with Anne, Kelsey and Louis constantly chatting-often times over each other-but Harry couldn’t stop smiling. Lily even joined the conversation a couple of times and, of course, they all pretended to have the slightest idea of what she was trying to say.

            As promised, the ordained minister, a rather old little man, was waiting at the small, cozy chapel when they arrived, and he smiled in relief once he saw Louis.

            “Thank God,” he breathed, hurrying over to pull Louis into a hug. “You scared me to death there, kid.”

            “Sorry, Joe. Harry, Anne, this is my grandparents’ best friend, Joe. He married my mum and dad too. Joe, this is Harry and his mum, Anne.”

            They all exchanged the formal ‘hellos’ and handshakes, and then Joe turned to Louis again.         

            “There’s no rush kid, none at all, but is the other husband going to be here soon?”

            “Actually…he’s already here,” Louis said.

            “Oh, is he?” Joe asked, peering around Louis. Louis shot a quick smile at Harry.

            “It’s him, Joe.”

            “What? Who? What are you talking about?”

            “I’m marrying Harry.”

            The older man frowned, not disapprovingly, just very, very confused. Louis gave a small laugh.

            “I’ll explain it all later, I promise, but please…I love him, and he’s the one I want to marry, not just because I’m sick and need to, but because I actually, really _want_ to.”

            Oh great. There Harry went choking up again, but glancing over at his mother, he saw that he wasn’t the only one. Apparently, he’d inherited his sensitivity from her, and he was okay with that.

            “I would love to marry you two then, Louis, if it will make you happy.”

            “It will.”

            “Harry will be a great husband and brother-in-law-slash-step father person,” Kelsey added.

            “That makes me feel better,” Joe told her. “I trust your judgment a lot more than your brother’s, if I’m speaking honestly.”

            “Hey,” Louis protested, though clearly wasn’t offended.

            “Well, did you _meet_ your ex-fiancé?” Kelsey asked.

            “I’m so attacked right now.”

            “Yeah, where did you meet that winner anyway?” Harry butted in.

            “At a college party that I snuck into when I was sixteen,” Louis admitted, looking a bit embarrassed.

            “It wasn’t a sign that he was picking up devious sixteen-year-olds?” Harry teased.

            “Nothing happened!”

            “Yeah, because you were trashed and threw up on him when he tried to kiss you. He told me,” Kelsey said.

            “I am not hearing any of this,” Joe added.

            “Guess I’m lucky it was only the shoes for me then,” Harry said.

            “I respect you more,” Louis said. “Now stop talking about this! You’re making me look bad in front of my future mum-in-law!”

            “Oh, honey, you haven’t even heard the Harry stories yet,” Anne said.

            “Don’t,” Harry warned.

            “I won’t,” she promised. “At least not today.”

            The other wedding guests arrived soon, and that was when the butterflies started flapping around in Harry’s stomach. Sure, it was a convenience marriage, as Louis had pointed out, but the timing was the only part that Harry considered only ‘convenient.’ He wanted this. He wanted it so bad that he almost didn’t make it through Joe’s speeches without asking him politely to just hurry the hell up. He wanted it so bad, and wanted it to be forever, that he couldn’t stop himself from crying when they got to the ‘sickness and health, ‘til death do you part’ section. Before he could get embarrassed, though, he noticed that there wasn’t a single dry eye in the place, except for Lily’s, though she was on Anne’s lap, studying her tear-streaked face with concern.

            “I do,” Harry did manage to choke out, giving Louis’s hand a small squeeze.

            “I’m sorry for this unprofessional interruption, but do you have rings?” Joe asked after Louis had also said his ‘I dos’.

            “Oh, um, no,” Louis said. From the front bench, Liam cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting when all eyes went to him.

            “I, um, brought the rings, just in case…”

            Louis looked from his best friend to Harry, smiling inquisitively.

            “Works for now,” Harry said. He wasn’t fond of the idea of wearing Billy’s ring, but he wanted everyone to know he was taken.

            Louis nodded to Liam, who stood and awkwardly walked up to the altar, handing the rings to the men before hurrying back to his seat and basically sitting on top of Niall. The husbands smiled appreciatively before slipping the rings on each other’s fingers. Louis’s was slightly big, as Harry figured he’d probably lost a bit of weight since they were purchased, but Billy’s (Harry’s now) was so small that Louis ended up having to slide it onto Harry’s pinky, giggling as he did so.

            “Can I see something?” Harry asked quietly, smiling adoringly at his groom.

            “Okay,” he said. Harry slipped the ring from Louis’s ring finger and placed it instead onto the other’s thumb. It was a bit tight on that finger, but (though he didn’t like the thought) Harry knew Louis would probably get thinner on treatment and then it would fit like a glove. Besides, the pinky and thumb went well together, he thought.

            “Perfect,” Louis said, smiling down at their hands.

            “Alright, are you going to kiss already?!” Niall shouted from the audience.

            “You’re always trying to get us to kiss, you weird-” Harry began, but Louis was the one to interrupt that time, standing on his tiptoes and throwing his arms around Harry’s neck as he brought him into a kiss. Needless to say, Harry wasn’t going to complain about the interruption.

            Everyone cheered and cat-called and no one even told them to get a room when the kiss went on for a good minute.

            “We’re married,” Louis breathed once they broke their lips apart from each other, their foreheads pressed together still.

            “We’re married,” Harry repeated with a smile.

***

            Though Louis had remembered to let the reception hall know that there wouldn’t be a wedding, the chapel belonged to Joe’s friends, who allowed them to throw a little party in there. Zayn brought in a portable stereo for some music while Niall went to get some take-out and cupcakes.

            While Harry stood against the wall, smiling as he watched Louis dance with Kelsey, Liam approached, tapping Harry once on the shoulder and looking nervous.

            “Hi, Liam,” Harry greeted.

            “Hi. Uh…can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

            “Sure,” Harry agreed. He asked his mom to tell Louis he had stepped out for a minute, should he ask, and then followed Liam out to the back.

            “Everything okay?” he asked.

            “Yeah, yeah, just…do you think three-and-a-half months is too soon?”

            “Well, I mean, it’s pretty quick, Liam, but we wanted to do it before the chemo starts and everything.”

            Liam frowned like he didn’t know what Harry was talking about before shaking his head quickly.

            “No, I know that. I didn’t mean for you and Louis. I meant…um…I meant for Niall and me.”

            The words shocked Harry and he fish mouthed for a few seconds, visibly making Liam even more nervous as he continued.

            “I just…I’m in love with him, and I know he feels the same. I know it will happen one day, and I just…I think it’s pointless to wait. I wanted to do it in Paris because Niall has the whole trip planned out already, but he won’t be expecting that and…I don’t know…it feels right. Besides, I want Louis there…”

            “It is really quick,” Harry said when Liam trailed off, causing disappointment to show on the other’s face. He went on, “but who cares? There’s not a doubt in my mind that Niall would want that, and there’s no set time it takes to fall in love, especially when it’s true, like I know it is. You should ask him, if that’s what you really want.”

            “Really?” Liam asked, posture straightening and face brightening.

            “Really. And I know Louis really wants to be there too.”

            Liam nodded, swallowing, and Harry pulled him into a hug. Maybe it should have been awkward, as the two didn’t really know each other that well yet, but it wasn’t. They had something great in common; their love for Louis. It was a different kind of love for each of them, sure, but it was still love.

            “I’ll do everything I can to make sure he’s here for a long time,” Harry promised.

            “I know,” Liam said, hugging back. “Thank you.”

            “He’s doing more for me than I am for him.”

            “You may have saved his life, Harry.”

            “Maybe. But do you remember when you told me to have a heart and I told you I didn’t have one?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Well, I found it. Turns out, Louis had it.”

***

            Niall had returned with food by the time Liam and Harry re-entered the chapel and he turned away from his plate to give Liam a kiss when he approached. Harry had never been more convinced that they were meant to be and gave Liam a smile before going to find his husband, whom he spotted quickly, talking to his mother.

            “Hello, mum, husband. Mother, do you mind if I steal him away for a few?”

            “Go ahead, dear,” she assured him, going instead to talk to Mackenzie’s mother.

            “Food is here,” Harry announced unnecessarily as he slid his hands onto the man’s hips and began swaying to the music. “Want to eat?”

            “Maybe in a minute,” Louis replied with a smile, placing his arms up on Harry’s shoulders and following his movements.

            “I love you,” Harry said.

            “I love you too.”

            “Louis!” Kelsey called, running towards them with a taped together set of dandelions.

            “What, may I ask, are you doing?” Louis asked, turning into Harry’s side to look at his sister. He was still smiling.

            “It’s your flower bouquet! Mackenzie and I picked them!”

            “ _My_ bouquet? Why am I the bride? Is it because I’m short?”

            “Yes,” Kelsey said. “Now here! You have to throw them!”

            “This is ridiculous,” Louis sighed, but he took the ‘bouquet’ anyway and walked up to the altar.

            Harry guessed Louis wasn’t a baseball player because he overthrew by a long shot, the weeds landing right on Niall’s plate, causing the blonde to scream in anguish.

            “Niall, you’re getting married next!” Kelsey announced while Louis nearly fell over with laughter. Harry went to stand next to him.

            “I’ll be expecting a diamond soon,” Niall informed Liam, who simply smiled. Harry knew he wouldn’t actually be expecting one _that_ soon and just winked at his husband’s best friend.

            “Did you ever think we would be married before them?” Louis asked his groom after giving him a kiss on the lips.

            “Never,” Harry said. In fact, if someone had told him back at the bachelor party that, as Zayn and Niall had described him, ‘the stripper with the ass’ would one day be his husband, Harry would have assumed they were on heavy, perhaps illegal, medication. Yet, now, he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

            “Come on,” Louis said, lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go get food.”

            “Hold on,” Harry said. “If you’re the bride…”

            Moving with great agility, Harry swept Louis off his feet, the smaller groom gasping and holding tightly to Harry’s shirt.

            “I feel so un-masculine,” he commented.

            “You’re very masculine,” Harry assured him.

            “Uh-huh, that’s right,” Louis agreed. “I am all man, thank you. I can show you later.”

            Speechless, the only thing Harry knew to do then was to give Louis another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters to go! :) Thanks for everyone who has stuck with the story this far!
> 
> PS, a cover of the song "Falling Slowly" came on while I was writing the wedding scene and I have decided that is Louis and Harry's first dance song. Just in case anyone was wondering :p


	14. Chapter 14

            “Don’t go to work.”

            “Harry, I have to go.”

            “No. Stay. It’s still our honeymoon.”

            “You realize we’re lying on top of an eleven-year-old, slightly lumpy mattress in a cheap rental house? I don’t think that’s much of a honeymoon.”

            “Perfect to me.”

            Louis laughed, shifting underneath Harry. Harry had discovered that he was quite a clingy husband and was lying with half of his body weight on top of his spouse, arms wrapped tightly around his middle to hold him captive. Louis laid there in defeat for a minute, and then turned to kiss Harry on the forehead.

            “Hey, you want me to turn in my resignation letter, right?”

            “Yes.”

            “Then I have to go.”

            “Mmph,” Harry verbally protested, but flopped onto his back, allowing Louis to sit up.

            “I’ll make breakfast,” Harry offered as Louis began his search for an outfit.

            “You don’t have to. You can go back to sleep.”

            “I want to make breakfast,” Harry insisted, sitting up himself.

            “Alright.”

            Louis went to shower and after Harry sent Niall a quick text to have a safe flight and not do anything that would get them kicked off the plane, he went to the kitchen to begin preparing some breakfast burritos. The kids were still asleep, so the only sounds were the sizzling vegetables and the distant echo of running water. It was peaceful and Harry was smiling as he worked. 

            That was, until a crash from the bathroom made his heart skip a beat.

            “Louis!” he called as Lily began to cry. He would attend to her in a moment, but right now he had to make sure his husband was okay. “Louis?!” he called again, rapping loudly on the bathroom door. Kelsey stepped into the hall, eyes wide with fear, but she didn’t say a word.

            “Fuck, ouch, I’m okay,” Louis said from inside the bathroom. Harry almost asked if he could come in, but they were married now and something had obviously happened, so Harry took that as a liberty to just open the door. Louis was dressed and sitting on the closed toilet, one hand on the side of his head as he tried to focus his unsteady eyes on Harry.

            “What happened?” Harry asked.

            “Just…lost my balance,” Louis said, voice a bit slurred.

            “Did you hit your head?”

            “Yeah, jus’ on the side of the counter. ‘M okay.”

            “Can I see?”

            Slowly, Louis lowered his hand, revealing a goose egg already forming, the area surrounding it red.

            “We need to get that checked out,” Harry said.

            “I’ll have the doctor look at it at my appointment.”

            “No, we need to get it checked out now, Lou. You could have a concussion.”

            “I don’t have a concussion.”

            “You don’t know that.”

            “I have work. I’ll go afterwards.”

            “You need to call off.”

            “I can’t, Harry.”

            “Yes, you can.”

            “I’m fine.”

            “You keep saying that, Lou, but you’re not!”

            “I have some ice,” a small voice said from the doorway. _Shit_. Harry hadn’t meant for Kelsey to hear that.

            “Thank you,” Harry said, taking the ice wrapped in a paper towel from her and handing it to Louis. The girl had also taken Lily from her crib, and had her on her hip, the baby looking around brightly, like nothing had happened.

            “I also turned off the stove,” Kelsey added.

            “Oh, I totally forgot. Thank you, Kelsey.”

            “I’m sorry,” Louis said.

            “You don’t have to apologize.”

            “You can go finish breakfast. I just need to finish my hair.”

            Louis got to his feet slowly, Harry prepared for him to fall again, but he didn’t.

            “See?” Louis said with a weak smile. “I told you I’m fine.”

            Harry and Kelsey shot each other a look as Kelsey took Louis’s place on the closed toilet lid, silently assuring Harry that she would watch him while he went to finish cooking. Harry still didn’t feel great about it, but he went anyway.

            As promised, Louis called the doctor that morning and managed to book an appointment for the next afternoon.

            Harry drove Louis to work and went inside with him, making Louis quite suspicious, though Harry assured him he only wanted to see the place, as he’d never been inside.

            “Good morning, Louis!” a woman who appeared to be in her early thirties greeted cheerily when she saw them entering. “This must be Billy!”

            “Harry,” Harry corrected politely.

            “Oh,” the woman said with a slight frown. “I swore your name was Billy. I’m sorry.”

            “That’s alright,” Harry assured her. Louis huffed out a laugh and kissed his husband on the lips before going back to get situated.

            “Hey, so I know Louis is an adult and such, but he had a bit of a shaky morning,” Harry spoke to his husband’s co-worker in a hushed voice. “If it’s not too much to ask, could you just keep an eye on him?”

            “Of course,” the woman said, looking worried. “I always tell him he has a tendency to push himself too hard.”

            “Yes, that he does,” Harry agreed. “I’m going to give you my number and if anything happens, will you give me a call?”

            “Of course,” she said again. “My phone is in the back, but let me grab some paper…”

            Luckily, Harry managed to write down his phone number and the lady pocketed it before Louis had returned.

            “What time do you get off?” Harry asked.

            “Four.”

            “Okay. I’ll be here. Have a good day.”

            Louis accepted a kiss and managed a small smile before Harry parted, everything in him telling him not to leave.

            Harry tried to hide his worry from Kelsey, but felt as if he wasn’t doing a great job. She was oddly quiet herself, not moving from the couch even though she was barely paying attention to the television that she’d turned on. When Harry asked if she felt okay, she said she felt fine.

            Around twelve forty-five, Harry received a call from an unknown number. His stomach dropped.

            “Is it Niall or Liam?” Kelsey asked hopefully. Harry shook his head and she swallowed, burying her face into the couch cushion she’d been laying on, one had over her exposed ear.

            “Hello? Harry answered, voice shaky.

            “Harry?” a woman’s own distressed voice spoke.

            “Yes.”

            “Hi. It’s Emily, Louis’s manager.”

            “What happened?”

            “He said he felt a bit light-headed and asked if he could go get something to drink. I told him to sit, that I would get him something, but he insisted. He went to the back to get money and it was taking quite a while, so I went to check on him and he was just lying there.”

            “Is he awake?”

            “Right now he is. He’s begging me not to call an ambulance, but he’s acting funny and he’s burning up. I don’t know what to do.”

            “I’ll come get him,” Harry said. “I’ll take him.”

            “Harry, I’m not terminating him, but he can’t finish these two weeks.”

            “I know. I’ll be there soon.”

            “What happened?” Kelsey asked, uncovering her ear and sitting up when Harry hung up the phone.

            “Louis isn’t feeling well,” Harry said. “I think he has a fever. I’m going to take him to the hospital. It might take a while, so I’ll call my mum to come stay with you and Lily, alright?”

            “But I want to come with you.”

            “Let us figure out what’s wrong first,” Harry reasoned. “If he has to stay, I’ll come pick you up later to visit, okay?”

            “Okay,” she agreed, though clearly wasn’t happy about it. Harry stood, beginning to call his mother, when Kelsey spoke again.

            “Harry?”

            “Yeah?”

            “Do you think he’s coming home?”

            “Tonight? I’m not sure. Probably depends on how high his temperature is and things.”

            “I didn’t mean just tonight,” Kelsey explained softly.

            “Fuck,” was all Harry managed, vision blurry from tears as he made his way outside on shaky legs to call his mom.

***

            When Harry reached the mall, Louis was up, walking around and putting away customer’s discarded clothes.

            “What are you doing?” Harry asked, wanting to shake Louis and hug him at the same time.

            “He’s so stubborn!” Emily exclaimed from her position at the counter.

            “I’m not getting paid to pass out,” Louis said, still sounding a tad bit drunk.

            “I don’t think that’s something you can help,” Harry reasoned, wrapping an arm around Louis’s middle. “Come on.”

            “Hold on, gotta clock out,” Louis said, trying to break free from Harry.

            “I’ve got it, Louis, just go! Please. Feel better,” Emily said. Louis sighed and still pulled away from Harry, though held his hand as he followed him out.

            “So hot,” Louis whined when they stepped into the late August air.

            “I parked close,” Harry said. “We’ll blast the air in the car.”

            The car ride was silent, Louis leaned against the door, utterly drained, until he realized that they weren’t going in the direction of home and sat up straight.

            “Where’re we going?”

            “Hospital.”

            “What? No! Harry, I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

            “Something is wrong, Louis. We need to find out what it is.”

            “I _know_ what it is. _You_ know what it is. Please, Harry…hospitals are where people go to die.”

            “And also where they go to get better.”

            “Where are the girls?”

            “At our place with my mum.”

            “I like your mum. Tell her I said hi.”

            “Okay, Lou, I will.”

***

            _It’s not fair_ , Harry thought over and over as they reached the hospital and the doctors took Louis back right away. Of course, he knew life wasn’t fair. He wasn’t three. But they shouldn’t be here, the day after they were married, wondering if this was the beginning of the end. They were _so close_ ; Louis had an appointment the next day to take the first steps in getting better. He was going to fight, but he couldn’t if his body decided to fail before he even had a chance. Why now? Why him? It just wasn’t fair, in the least bit.

            Harry was forced to sit in the waiting room for a bit, as Louis did have a fairly high fever-over 103- and Harry’s presence was ‘getting him worked up.’ The time went by slowly. He received a message from Niall saying they were at their first layover and one from Liam asking how everyone was doing. Harry assured him they were all fine, knowing the man would hate him for the lie if worst came to worst, but also not wanting to ruin their trip before it even began. Suddenly, he understood why Niall had whisked Liam off to Paris so quickly; the same reason (or one of them, at least) that Liam was proposing so soon. They didn’t know how long they had until their lives were flipped upside down, and wanted to make the most of it while they could. .

            Eventually, a doctor came to tell Harry he could go sit with Louis, but to be quiet because he was sleeping. They’d lowered his temperature somewhat and expected it to keep lowering as he got more water, medication and rest. (They couldn’t find any sign of serious infection, they said, and though Louis had a good knot on his head, it wasn’t a concussion.)

            Harry sat quietly with his husband for almost two hours until he slowly opened his eyes, looking confused at first, but then sighing.

            “Hey,” Harry said gently. “Feel any better?”

            “Mm…mhm. You didn’t have to stay.”

            “Of course I’m staying. I’m staying all night.”

            “Won’t be comfortable for you.”

            “Neither will the bed at home without you in it.”

            “You really are _so_ sappy,” Louis commented, smiling tiredly at Harry.

            “It’s your fault,” Harry teased. “At least we’re in the same building as your appointment tomorrow. That’s pretty convenient.”

            “Harry…,” Louis said, frowning then.

            “What is it, love?”

            “I can’t do treatment.”

            “What?” Harry asked, heart freezing again. “Why not?”

            “I just…I can’t.”

            “Because it’s spread too far, or…?”

            “No…I don’t know,” Louis said, not looking at Harry anymore.

            “We’ll get a second opinion,” Harry decided. “They do treatments on old people; I think they can do it for a twenty-three-year-old, even in the later stages.”

            “Harry, it wasn’t a doctor that said I can’t do it. It’s me.”

            “Why, Lou? You were ready. You wanted to try.”

            “I can’t do treatments and work.”

            “…No, I know that, babe, but you’re quitting, remember? We agreed on that.”

            “That was before.”

            “Before what?”

            Louis sighed. Harry saw his heart pick up speed on the monitor and held his hand.

            “Billy wants all the money he spent on the wedding back,” Louis said.

            “So we’ll give it back to him. We can scrounge up enough.”

            “You need all the money you have for the pancake house.”

            “We’ll have enough, Louis.”

            “You don’t understand, Harry.”

            “I know that, Louis. You tell me enough, and I’m trying, but I can’t do this without you.”

            That was the wrong thing to say. Harry knew it as the words were coming out of his mouth, and he mentally slapped himself as he saw Louis’s eyes widen in fear, the sick man using what little energy he had to push himself up and draw his hand away.

            “You said you could,” he spoke, voice half scared, some sad and even a little angry. “That was the whole point of this, Harry. You said you would take care of everything; of the girls!”

            “Lou, yes, I will,” Harry assured him quickly, reaching for his hand again. Louis drew it away. That hurt a little. Harry sighed. “I didn’t mean that. I _can_ do it without you, I can. And I will, if I have to. I promise. But if you think I’m going to just let you give up, you’re wrong.”

            Harry stood, making his way to the door. He was almost out before Louis said anything.

            “Where are you going?” he asked, voice quiet.

            “The doctor said I need to let you rest,” Harry answered shortly.

            “I thought you were staying?”

            Louis sounded only sad then, and Harry swallowed against the lump in his throat.

            “I’ll be back,” he promised, gentler. “I’m going to take care of things and then I’ll come right back. Get some sleep.”

            The other man fell quiet again, so Harry went on walking, pausing just before he rounded the corner out of the doorway. Louis was staring at him, expression cloudy.

            “This situation is real shitty, I know that, and I know you didn’t have many options,” Harry said, “but that’s not the only reason I married you, Louis.”

            “I know,” Louis said. “That wasn’t the reason for me either. I’m sorry I made it sound like you were just the better of two options. That’s not it. I’m just…”

            Louis broke eye contact with Harry again, eyes roaming around the room as he pulled anxiously on the hospital’s bed sheets.

            “Rest, Lou,” Harry said, all bitterness out of his tone then. “You need to relax. The doctor was right; I’m getting you all worked up.”

            “No, it’s not you,” Louis argued. “I’m scared, Harry. I don’t want you to go.”

            “I’ll be back before you wake again, okay?”

            “I don’t want to go to sleep.”

            “You need to sleep the rest of your fever off, babe.”

            “Harry…”

            Louis sounded so tiny and miserable, and Harry went back in to sit next to him on the bed. “What is it, my love?”

            “What if I don’t wake up?”

            The words made Harry’s blood run cold, but he kept his face neutral (at least mostly) as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Louis’s hot, hot forehead. He wanted to tell Louis that he was being silly because he _would_ wake up, and though Harry was ninety-nine percent sure that was true, he couldn’t guarantee it and knew it would do nothing to comfort Louis. Instead, he said, “Then you’ll have nothing to worry about anymore. I’ve got it from that point.”

            “Don’t go.”

            Harry _did_ really need to go take care of things, for his own peace of mind, but Louis needed him there, and Louis’s needs would always come before his, so Harry nodded, crawling back in his chair and pulling his knees up to his chin.

            “You won’t stay on the bed?” Louis asked, still so sad.

            “Body heat,” Harry explained. “But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

***

            Louis stayed asleep for another hour or so and after that, Anne brought Kelsey to see Louis and to drop some overnight essentials off for them. Louis seemed to be feeling better after his second nap, but was still tired, so they didn’t say long. Harry could tell how hard it was for Kelsey to leave, but she stayed strong, assuring Louis she would see him when he got out the next day.

            By the next morning, Louis’s temperature was just a degree above normal and he was allowed to be unhooked from all the machines and go to the cancer doctor’s office to discuss treatment options. He had to go through several tests first, and Harry really had no idea what was going on, despite the doctor’s attempts to explain. He felt like a terrible husband for it, but it was hard to really hear the explanations around the buzzing in his ears.

            He did hear when the doctor said that the cancer had likely started to spread to Louis’s central nervous system, and though Louis didn’t look at all surprised, Harry must have made a noise or something that he wasn’t aware of because Louis patted his knee and the doctor asked if he needed a moment. Harry assured them that he was fine. He resisted asking if they could start the chemo right then.

            On top of chemo, Louis would have to do radiation therapy, as well as possible surgery if it had spread enough, and if he should enter remission and relapse again, a stem cell transplant was highly suggested.

            All of this was to start in two weeks.

            “That’s so far away,” Harry commented as he and Louis walked back to the room hand-in-hand.

            “They need my test results, but it will come too soon, I promise. I’m going to be a disaster.”

            “At least you’ll get better.”

            “Maybe.”

            “Don’t be a pessimist.”

            “I’m a realest.”

            “Same thing.”

            Harry stopped in the middle of the hall to pull Louis closer and give him a kiss, first on the lips and then the neck.

            “You’re going to make my temperature rise,” Louis said, though didn’t sound too concerned about it.

            “Is that the only thing?” Harry asked. Louis gave him a soft smack across the head and then lifted his chin to kiss him right back.

            The doctors let him leave a couple hours later, once his fever broke, as long as he promised to come back if it went over one hundred. Harry promised he would make sure he did.

            “Harry,” Louis spoke once they were in the car.

            “Yeah?” Harry asked, concentrating carefully on backing out of his tight parking space. He hadn’t done such a good job parking yesterday in his panic.

            “What are we going to do about the wedding money?”

            “Well, he has to know you don’t have it right now. When does he want it by?”

            “A month from yesterday.”

            “Alright, we’ll get it.”

            “But _how_?”

            “Garage sale.”

***

                        Harry alone probably had enough stuff to make enough money off of, but word of the garage sale got out and soon, Zayn, Perrie, Anne, Kelsey and Mackenzie and her mom had all pitched in. Niall and Liam even made the couple Skype them and go around their houses, telling what they wanted to sell.

            “You two got rid of almost your entire flats,” Louis commented. “I appreciate it, but it’s really not necessary to have to eat on paper plates or sleep with no bed comforter.”

            “That’s alright,” Niall had assured him. “We’ll put a lot of stuff on our registry.”

            “Your registry?” Louis had asked, looking confused as Harry shot a quick smile to Liam.

            “Our wedding registry,” Niall explained.

            “Planning on getting married soon?” Louis said, half teasingly.

            “January second,” Niall answered. Louis started to laugh, but cut it short when their expressions remained serious.

            “Really?!” he asked then, huge grin on his face.

            “One hundred percent,” Liam said. Louis screamed.

***

            Louis wasn’t feeling well the day of the garage sale-that damn cold had finally caught up to him-so Harry stayed inside with him, having a movie marathon (despite the fact that they missed much of the dialogue due to coughing fits.) He went outside occasionally to check how things were going, but his mom, Zayn and Kelsey had put themselves in charge, while Perrie took Lily for the day, so he knew everything would be just fine.

            Around lunch time, Anne announced that she was going to grab them all some food and was taking orders. Louis had fallen asleep, head in Harry’s lap, so Harry ordered a large portion of his meal, planning to eat half and save the rest for when his husband woke.

            It took the woman a while and Harry was starting to worry that his growling stomach would wake Louis, but the worried look on Anne’s face when she did finally return made him not so hungry anymore.

            “What is it?” he asked before she’d even said a word.

            “The ex-fiancé is outside and wants to see Louis,” she said. “Zayn isn’t allowing it, but I’m afraid a fight is about to break out.”

            “Of course,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. “Alright. I’ll take care of it.”

            Louis whined when Harry began to stand and Harry hoped that Zayn _did_ punch Billy, if only because he made Harry disturb his husband, who after a night of coughing and struggling to breathe had finally fallen into a peaceful sleep.

            “I know, shh,” Harry said softly, grabbing a couple pillows from the other end of the couch and helping Louis get against them.

            “Where are you going?” he asked sleepily, staring up at Harry with sleepy, glassy, beautiful eyes. Harry wanted to kiss him. So he did. “You’re so getting sick,” Louis commented.

            “Don’t care. I’ll be right back. Just checking on something outside real quick.”

            “Okay,” Louis said with a yawn that turned into a cough. Harry handed the man his juice and then walked around his mom to get outside. There were only a few shoppers at the moment and, though Billy and Zayn were talking quietly, the tension was evident and they were looking at the two men, both intrigued and worried.

            “Hello!” Harry greeted the guests brightly before marching over to his friend and the other guy. “What’s going on?” he asked. Neither said anything for a minute and Billy looked him up and down before letting out a humorless laugh.

            “I knew it was you,” he said.

            “What do you mean?” Harry inquired, keeping his voice as polite as possible.

            “I knew you were the one who convinced him to go.”

            “It was his decision.”

            “It was heavily influenced, I’m sure.”

            “Why are you here?”

            “That’s between Louis and me, I’m afraid, so if you will excuse me…”

            “No, I will not,” Harry said, pushing lightly against Billy’s chest as he attempted to enter the house. “He’s sick. He doesn’t need this drama. Is it your money you want? Here. Take it.”

            Billy, Zayn and even Kelsey stared as Harry walked to the girl, taking the money envelope from her without even counting how much was inside.

            “If that’s not enough, I’ll go inside and get you more. Just leave,” Harry said when he reached the men again and had shoved the envelope into Billy’s hand. Before Billy could even think about obeying Harry’s orders, the front door opened and out stepped Louis, still in his pajamas.

            “Finally,” Billy muttered.

            “Everything’s fine, Louis,” Harry said, but Louis ignored him, walking over to stand next to him.

            “Why are you harassing my family and friends?” he asked, staring at his ex.

            “I was just trying to talk to you,” Billy said, then softened his tone. “Are you alright, Lou? You look terrible.”

            “Wow. Thank you so much. I’m not sure if you remember, but I have cancer, so…”

            “I know that,” the other said, looking none too pleased with his ex-fiancé’s tone, but trying to hide it. “You just look sicker than before.”

            “Yeah, that’s because I have a highly contagious summer flu, so I would appreciate it if you would tell me what the hell you want so I can go back to bed and maybe not pass it on to you.”

            Billy took a step back, eyeing Louis uncomfortably, and Harry smiled with pride.

            “Just came to get my money. Heard about the sale,” the guy said, brandishing the envelope awkwardly.

            “So you’re good to go then?” Louis asked, tone falsely chipper. Billy pursed his lips, fist opening and closing repeatedly. Harry pulled Louis behind him a bit, defensively.

            “I just hope you realize what you had with me, Lou, before you decided to leave for some dime a dozen pretty boy,” Billy said as a last attempt at…whatever he was actually trying to accomplish.

            “Don’t worry, Billy. I’ll remember,” Louis assured him. “I’ll remember that you were my first almost everything and that we really loved each other back then. I’ll also remember that wasn’t the case so much the second time around. And if you think that I chose Harry because he’s ‘pretty,’ then I don’t know you well you ever really knew me. I chose Harry for a chance at life. Maybe fighting for that will be a waste of time, but even so, it won’t be for nothing because I might only get a chance at life, but I have the guarantee of love.”

            Everyone was quiet then-even the nature, it seemed-and, though Billy was clearly trying to come up with a good response, he settled on a lame, “Whatever, Louis. You’re such a bitch,” before turning and heading to his car. Louis had to tug on Harry’s hand to stop him from chasing after the man and pummeling him to a pulp.

            “He’s not worth it, Harry.”

            “He called you…”

            “Yeah, yeah. Bitch. Whore. Sticks and stones. I’m used to it.”

            Harry glared, but Louis was smiling, so he finally cracked and shook his head as a grin split across his face.

            “I do believe you have surpassed me for biggest sap, though,” Harry teased as he bopped Louis on the nose.

            “We’ve watched romantic comedies all day. I was inspired,” Louis explained. Harry hummed noncommittally and went in for a kiss, but Louis turned his head to couch into his arm for a good ten or so seconds, so now was apparently not the time.

            “Sorry,” he apologized afterward. “I had to hold that back through my entire, Oscar-worthy speech.”

            Harry laughed, putting a hand on the other’s back to lead him inside.

            “Come on then, Leonardo DiCaprio,” he said. “It’s water and bed time.”

            “You always know just the right words to say, Curly.”

            “Always?”

            “Well…no, but in this particular instance…That was like dirty talk; sounded so good.”

            Harry just laughed again. Though he was still scared-and would be for a long time, he knew-he also felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

            _Probably because you are,_ he reminded himself as Louis drank a few sips of water and then curled up in Harry’s lap, germs and all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was incorporating the title into the text too cheesy? Probably. Oh well ;)
> 
> Ok, this has nothing to do with this particular fic, per se, so forgive me for putting it here but I'm not sure where else to do it. Upon re-reading some of my older stuff (including older chapters of this) I have come to the conclusion that you all probably think I don't proof read. I promise I do, multiple times, but sometimes my mild dyslexia is like, "Yeah, that looks totally normal, Jamie, good job," and then when I read it later I die a little inside. So I am thinking of getting a beta for future fics, if anyone is interested. If so, you can e-mail me or reach me at my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/it-hurts-doesnt-it) . (Yaaaay, I finally looked up how to put links in the notes. B- for me!) 
> 
> I also want to get into fic recs again too, so if you have any requests, you can also message me there or through e-mail. Okay, that's all. Thanks for reading and sorry again for this :) I love you all <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, ladies and gents; I am SO sorry this took so long to update. I could give you a million and twelve reasons why, but I'll stick with my favorite, which is that while I was on my laptop last Friday, my three-year-old decided to sneak out of bed, come up behind me and start a tickle war. I had been taking a drink at the time as well, so I sprayed my laptop with water, then proceeded to jump and dump the rest of the cup onto the laptop, so my laptop malfunctioned and I lost this XD But it's posted now, obviously! So I hope you like it! 
> 
> One more thing before we get started: A lovely anon sent a fic request for Niam one-shot based on this fic, which I was going to post along with this, but that was actually the one thing I didn't write on paper before typing up and when my laptop died, I lost 30 pages of fic. So I will still post it, but not until this weekend!

            The next week-and-a-half was spent relaxing and doing fun things as a family, whether it was going out or staying in. Even with a cold and the promise of a long, painful road ahead, Louis stayed positive and in a good mood.

            Kelsey started school again the week before Louis’s treatments were supposed to start. Louis woke himself every morning to take her, knowing he might be too sick to do so soon.

            When Liam and Niall returned home-promise/engagement rings in place-they went with Louis and Harry to pick out paint, blinds and other decorative essentials for the pancake house. The more they worked, the larger Harry’s confidence grew, and Louis’s too, if his smile said anything about it. Life was perfect.

            And then, finally, it was time for the treatments to begin.

            Everyone was nervous that morning. Kelsey didn’t even want to go to school, but Louis promised he would be back that night and, in the meantime, Anne would be staying with her and Lily. The woman had even offered to take them for the night, and though the men thought it was a good idea, the older of the two sisters refused to leave when ‘Louis might need her.’

            “You don’t have to go, Harry,” Louis pointed out as he was getting ready to leave later that morning. Anne was already in the living room, playing a game with Lily that made her laugh like it was the best thing ever.

            “Of course I’m going,” Harry said like Louis was crazy to think anything else.

            “You’ll be bored.”

            “I’m not expecting there to be a party or anything, Lou.”

            “I might already get sick.”

            “Babe, it’s okay,” Harry assured his husband, cupping his face in his hands and placing a kiss on his forehead. “We’re in this together.”

            Louis nodded, though his nerves were clearly evident. Smiling a bit, Harry spoke again.

            “So did you eat? Also, what snack do you want to take?”

            “Food is going to be the last thing I want,” Louis groaned.

            “I know, love, but the doctor said it’s important.”

            Louis simply sighed, so Harry threw a couple nutrition bars into the designated hospital bag and gave his husband a reassuring smile.

            “Ready to go get day one done?”

***

            Louis was given an anti-nausea drug before his chemo even started that day, but Harry was sure it still wasn’t pleasant. He took it like a pro, though, and Harry remembered sadly that he’d had already been through this many, many times.

            Since he was on a drip, the two were to be at the hospital for a few hours, and Harry had packed lots to do so Louis would have more to concentrate on than the chemicals dripping onto his bloodstream, almost guaranteeing misery later.

            At first, they discussed the menu for their future restaurant until, despite the drugs he’d been given, Louis started to feel a little nauseous and wasn’t excited to talk about food anymore. That was completely alright because Harry had also brought books, puzzles and even coloring books.

            “I feel like I’m six again,” Louis said with a laugh as he started flipping through a coloring book.

            “I’m sorry,” Harry said sincerely, even though he was smiling. “I really had no idea what to do.”

            “You’re doing perfectly, love. Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Kelsey was nervous all day, risking detention or some other punishment to text Harry and ask how Louis was doing. Each time, Harry assured her that he was doing well and told her to get off her phone at school.

            The boys got home in the late afternoon and were greeted at the door by Anne, who wrapped Louis into a hug so tight that it was usually only reserved for Harry. Harry beamed.

            “How are you feeling?” the woman asked once she’d let go and shut the door behind the men.

            “I’m okay for now,” Louis assured her as Kelsey entered the room to also give him a hug.

            “Did you get all of your prescriptions?” Anne asked.

            “I’m about to go get them,” Harry said. “They were sent to a pharmacy, but I wanted to drop him off first.”

            “Can you help me with my homework?” the girls asked her brother, a hopeful look on her face.

            “I can,” Louis assured her with a small smile. Maybe, Harry though, everything really would be okay.

            It didn’t take him long at the pharmacy, but when he returned, Kelsey had already finished her homework and was playing with Lily while Louis helped Anne cook dinner; homemade chicken noodle soup. Both were smiling and talking like they’d known each other forever. It made Harry smile, but as he went up behind Louis, wrapped his arms around his middle and kissed his neck, he said,

            “Shouldn’t you be resting?”

            “I feel fine right now,” Louis said. “Just embrace these moments while you can.”

            Harry kissed Louis’s lips and asked if they needed help. They didn’t, necessarily, but they found a task for him to do anyway.

            Louis barely ate anything, but that wasn’t really anything new, and after helping clean up the dishes, he went to bed, assuring everyone that he was just tired.

            Since Kelsey was still adamant about staying home, Harry told Anne she didn’t need to take Lily either. He could handle it, he was sure. So far, this had been a walk in the park.

            Kelsey went to call Mackenzie after Anne left-she’d asked how Louis was too; it was really so cute how much the girl’s friends liked him-and Harry played blocks with Lily until deciding it was bath time. It didn’t take him long to find the baby shampoo and soaps, but it took a good few minutes of her whining for him to realize that she probably wanted toys too. There was a bucket under the sink holding various tub toys and since he had no clue which ones the baby usually preferred, he just dumped them all in there, smiling at the look of joy on her face.

            “You’re a little mermaid, aren’t you?” Harry commented as minutes passed and the baby gave no sign of wanting to get out, despite the fact that her skin was starting to prune. Lily didn’t make any reply and Harry smiled, deciding as he checked the time on his phone that he would give her two more minutes.

            After about a minute passed, there was anxious rapping on the door, so Harry felt that play time was going to be cut a bit short.

            “Come in,” he allowed, pulling the plug and lifting the baby from the water despite her ‘no’s’. It was Louis who entered.

            “Hey, are you-” Harry began, but his question was answered when the other lifted the toilet lid and promptly began to throw up into the bowl.

            “Aw, babe,” Harry said in sympathy, placing the toweled baby on the ground for just a moment to go rub his husband’s back.

            “I don’t want to do this,” Louis sighed once he’d finished and lowered himself shakily to the ground, back against the tub.

            “I know you don’t want to do _this_ part. That’s understandable. But it will be worth it if you get better,” Harry said as he lifted the baby again and sat with her on the toilet lid, which he’d closed. Louis just sighed, putting his forehead down on his knees.

            “Did you take the nausea medicine?” Harry asked.  

            “Yeah. It doesn’t work that great, clearly.”

            “Maybe we can try you on another one.”

            “Yeah. Maybe.”

            “I’m going to get Lily to bed real fast. Do you need anything?”

            Louis shook his head, so Harry reluctantly left the bathroom, quickly finding some comfortable pajamas for the baby and placing her in her crib. She whined, and Harry felt bad that he didn’t let her out to play a little more, but the walk in the park was over and all of them were going to have to make some sacrifices.

            When Harry left the baby’s room, Louis was already getting sick again, and he rushed back to the bathroom, but Kelsey was already there, cup of water in one hand while she rubbed Louis’s back with the other. Harry again admired how mature she was. He certainly wouldn’t have been able to be around someone who was throwing up at twelve years old. (He’d had to learn to deal by waking up on the floor of one of his friends’ houses after many nights of heavy partying.)

            “This is normal,” Kelsey explained calmly when she saw Harry staring in, concerned. “The first night after chemo is always the worst, Lou, remember? It won’t be so bad tomorrow and probably not bad at all the next day!”

            “Yeah,” Louis said, wiping his mouth and taking a drink from the cup Kelsey handed him. “Just gotta tough it out.”

            “Maybe the puking is the cancer leaving your body!” Kelsey exclaimed hopefully. Despite how miserable he obviously was, Louis managed a smile.

            “Maybe, Kels.”

            Harry got Louis back to bed after that, helping him get propped up comfortably and placing his water on the nightstand and a bucket, just in case. He shut the door then, got undressed down to his boxers and climbed in himself, Louis giving him another smile and turning to cuddle.

            “I’m so proud of you,” Harry said, giving the top of Louis’s head a soft kiss.

            “Couldn’t have done it without you,” Louis said sleepily.

            “Yeah, you could have,” Harry disagreed.

            “Maybe,” Louis said. “But I wouldn’t have wanted to.”

            “Well, you’ll never have to.”

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too. Wake me up if you need to, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            “Promise?”

            “Harry, I’ll be fine,” Louis said with the tiniest laugh. “It’s not like I have hair you need to hold back or anything.”

            “I don’t want you to go through this alone, Lou.”

            “I’m not. I’ll be crawling back into bed with you and that’s all I need.”

            Harry didn’t let himself fall into a deep sleep because, despite Louis’s words, Harry wanted to be there with him in every way, all the time, so he kept himself in a semi-conscious state, leg hooked around Louis’s so that he would know if he got up.

            There was only one more time Louis actually threw up because the second time his nausea woke him, there was virtually nothing left in his system, so it was just an hour of painful dry heaving. It broke Harry’s heart that there was nothing he could really do.

            “You need to drink something,” he said softly, moving a sweaty strand of hair from Louis’s forehead.

            “I’ll throw up,” Louis pointed out. “Why is it so bad already?! It was only the first treatment! I shouldn’t be this sick!”

            “You’re stressing, babe. I know you can’t help it, but it’s probably making things worse. Breathe.”

            “But I feel so sick.”

            “I know, love, and I wish I could make you feel better, but I’m here, and you’re going to be fine. Come on. Let’s go get you some tea. It’s peppermint, which is supposed to be good for nausea. Will you try some?”

            Reluctantly, Louis agreed and sat on the couch watching late night television until Harry came back with the drink.

            “It tastes good, at least,” he said after taking his first sip and leaning against Harry.

            “Good. I’m glad.”

            “I’ll make this up to you if I get better,” Louis promised.

            “That’s not necessary,” Harry said. “I want you to be better, but in the meantime, I just want to make your recovery as easy as I can.”

            “How’d I get so lucky?” Louis wondered aloud. “Luck is something I never see.”

            Harry didn’t know how to reply smoothly to that, so he just kissed the side of his husband’s head and re-situated them into a more comfortable position in which Louis could still easily drink his tea. By the time he reached the last part of his drink, he’d fallen asleep. Harry moved slowly and carefully to take the cup and set it on an end table without disturbing the other man, afraid any little movement would wake him. Louis stayed sound asleep, so after situating his own arms comfortingly around the other man, Harry fell asleep as well.

            The next day wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terrible. It was hard to get Louis to agree to eat, but when he did, he kept it down.

            He felt even better the day after that and, since Kelsey had made plans to stay the night with Mackenzie, the couple’s friends decided to come over for movie and pizza night. Louis, for some reason unknown to the others, chose to watch the movie _50/50_ , and though Harry wasn’t sure how great of an idea that was, he went along with it anyway.

            “Has your hair started falling out yet?” Zayn teased once they had reached the ‘shaving the head’ part of the movie.

            “Not yet,” Louis said. “Maybe I should shave it. It was quite terrifying when I was little to wake up with a chunk of hair on the bed next to me.”

            There were a couple of sympathetic laughs around the group, but Louis was apparently serious, turning to Liam and saying, “Wanna shave my head?”

            “I am not touching your hair!” Liam exclaimed, part amused and part terrified.

            “Fine. Zayn?” Louis asked.

            “Eh, I don’t think so, man.”

            “Oh my god, it’s just hair!” Perrie spoke with a roll of her eyes. “Come on, Lou. I’ll help you.”

            Getting to her feet, the woman helped Louis up and they headed off to the bathroom. The remaining men shot each other anxious glances before rising simultaneously and following.

            The sound of the razor freaked Harry out a bit and he ended up not watching as Perrie removed every lovely lock of his husband’s hair. He looked when it was over, though, and was pleasantly surprised. He still looked like Louis; not any sicker than before. He still looked beautiful.

            “Why are you staring like that?” Louis asked nervously, one hand going to touch his bald head as he winced at the texture.

            “You’re gorgeous,” Harry answered, moving forward to kiss the other passionately. Everyone let them have their moment and Louis smiled when they broke apart, then said,

            “You’re full of shit. We need to go hat shopping immediately.”

***

            Up and down; down and up. That was how their days and weeks went for a long, long time. Sometimes, it would be like nothing was really, seriously wrong with Louis. Others, he would barely be able to move from bed; Harry struggling to keep him hydrated. Radiation took its toll too and all Louis wanted to do was sleep, even on the good days.

            Many days were spent in the hospital, as Louis’s immune system was shot and he was prone to infections. Of course, having a school aged child in the house didn’t help, and if something was going around, Kelsey made sure to stay away from her brother. Other times, she took on the responsibility of caring for him when Harry had things to do for the restaurant.

            The restaurant in question was doing wonderfully. It was opened in the early year after Louis started treatment and, so far, it had gone flawlessly, or as flawlessly as a business could go. Louis put himself in charge of the finances and worked from home, as doing something helped him not to feel ‘useless’ as Niall graduated and got a job, Liam signed up for online classes, and Zayn and Perrie started talking about having a family. When he was feeling up to it, though, Louis would travel to the restaurant, just to see firsthand how things were going. They had some regular guests who got to know them all pretty well and would send things to the hospital and also their home whenever Louis wasn’t doing so great. It was lovely, and while watching Louis suffer wasn’t pleasant in the least bit, and caring for him wasn’t easy, at least he was there.

            He was there when Kelsey went to her first school dance with a boy, watching with a smile as Anne helped her with her hair and makeup, matching them to the dress Harry and Louis had taken her shopping for. He was there when Harry helped Lily take her first steps and when, together, they threw a first birthday party for the girl. He celebrated another birthday himself that December (and the next); something his doctor told him wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t begun treatment when he did. He was at Liam and Niall’s wedding, giving his best man speech and making everyone cry, and he was there for the grand opening of the aforementioned pancakes house. He was there for all of that, and no matter how sick and tired Harry knew he felt, he kept smiling and remained positive. He kept fighting with all he had.

            And then it was just over. After one and half years, it was over.

            Harry spent that morning at the pancake house helping out in the kitchen, though he admittedly wasn’t doing a great job. Louis had a doctor appointment that morning, which Harry had dropped him off at and was planning to go pick him up from afterwards. Usually, he stayed at his appointments with him, but Louis had preferred to go alone recently, for a reason Harry wasn’t quite sure of. He didn’t like it, but allowed Louis to do as he wished. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if Louis would give him an explanation of what was going on, but all Harry got were vague details. He had a fear that things were getting worse and Louis just didn’t want to say it and face it yet. On the one occasion that Harry voiced this fear, Louis had simply kissed him and told him to stop worrying; he would be there in the morning.

            Still, there were some nights that Harry cried himself to sleep, long after Louis was resting peacefully. He’d loved Louis when he married him, but as time went on, somehow, he grew to love him more. Maybe it was cliché, but it was true, and it hurt because he could never just enjoy being completely, madly in love with the constant fear that everything that made him happiest could just be gone one day soon.

            Louis needn’t know that, though. He had his secrets and Harry had his. Even with those secrets and everything that threatened to tear them down, they stayed strong as individuals but more so as a couple.

            Louis’s appointment was taking a while that morning; too long. Harry was starting to make himself sick with worry and just rush back to the hospital, burst through the door, wrap Louis in his arms and ask what exactly was wrong when one of the young waitresses came back to retrieve him.

            “Harry?”

            “Yeah?” Harry replied, looking up from the nauseating pancake batter he was attempting to mix into something bake-able.

            “Louis is here. He asked if he could see you for a moment.”

            “Yeah. Yeah, of course,” Harry said, quickly removing his baking gloves and heading to the front of the restaurant, confused and still worried, but relieved that he at least knew exactly where Louis was and that, for the time being, he was alright.

            “Hey, love,” Louis greeted with a smile when Harry was in view.

            “Hey,” Harry said, trying to smile but thinking he failed. He pulled Louis into a kiss. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, I’m fine.”

            “Okay. Good. I thought I was picking you up?”

            “I decided to save you a trip and call a cab. How much longer do you think you’ll be?”

            “I can leave anytime. We’re a bit over crowded, actually, but I just wanted to…pass the time.”

            “Will you come home with me then?”

            “Yeah, of course. Just let me tell them I’m going…”

            Louis waited patiently as Harry said goodbye to the other employees and bundled up-it was Valentine’s Day, so quite cold-and then they left, Harry blasting the heat once they were in the car. Despite his too-big coat, beanie and fluffy gloves, Louis shivered, but smiled at Harry.

            “I know we didn’t make any plans for tonight,” Louis said as his husband began to drive, “but I want to celebrate, so I ordered take-out from that Italian restaurant around the block. Can we stop and get it?”

            “Sounds wonderful.”

            Harry went in to get the food and left the car running for Louis, who finally appeared to be warming up when Harry returned. Harry put the food in the backseat and placed a kiss on his husband’s lips before driving off again. He resisted asking how the appointment went. Louis would tell him when he was ready.

            When they reached the house, they were quickly greeted by Charlie, the black Labrador that Harry and Kelsey had adopted for the family about a month into Louis’s treatment. Charlie was a great dog and excellent with the kids, but he was most attached to Louis, who claimed it was only because he got his extra food whenever he couldn’t finish a meal, but Harry didn’t agree.

 While Harry pet Charlie and scratched him behind the ears, Louis went to take his coat off and hang it up in the hall closet. Finally, when Charlie left Harry to go see what his other master was doing, Harry straightened up and suddenly saw why it had seemed that Louis was taking an extra-long time at the doctor’s. Apparently, he had made a pit stop at home to cover the place with red, pink and white balloons. The table was already set, with flowers as the centerpiece along with a bottle of sparkling champagne. Harry grinned.

            “So romantic.”

            “Well, last Valentine’s Day was spent in the bathroom, so I had some making up to do.”

            “You didn’t have to make up for anything,” Harry said, “but this is perfect. Thank you.”

            “Sit down,” Louis said, leading Harry to the table and dishing out food for the both of them. Harry was anything but hungry, but he would eat a little for Louis.

            “Is Lily still with Liam and Niall?” Harry asked when they had gone about half the meal with barely a word. Though Charlie usually sat and begged for food, he apparently knew something was up too and went to sleep on Harry’s spot in the bed (which Harry struggled to kick him out of each and every night.)

            “Yeah,” Louis answered. “They’re not doing anything until tonight, so they said they’ll watch her while we eat and maybe do something else if you want to.”

            “If you’re up for it,” Harry agreed.

            “Yeah. I feel really good today, but, Harry, I have to tell you something.”

            Here it was. Louis was going to tell him. As much as Harry had wanted him to be honest and open up to him, he suddenly didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t want to know how long they had together, already knowing that it wouldn’t be at all long enough.

            “Okay,” Harry said anyway, setting down his fork and folding his hands in his lap, mentally bracing himself as much as he could. His heart was beating painfully and way too fast.

            “I’m done with treatments,” Louis began, and opened his mouth to continue when he was clearly startled by the tears that had started to pour out of Harry’s eyes as if on cue.

            “No, baby, don’t cry,” Louis said then, getting up to sit his feather-light body onto Harry’s lap.

            “I’m sorry,” Harry said tearfully, but not even bothering to wipe his eyes, knowing it would be useless. “I mean, I knew this was a possibility, just…”

            He took a breath.

            “How long, Lou?”

            “Harry,” Louis said and, for some reason, he actually smiled a bit. “I’m done with treatments because I don’t need them anymore. I’m better.”

            It took a few moments for those words to register in Harry’s head. All he needed was a simple answer; an estimated guess as to how much longer he would be graced with the company of Louis, but wait. What? He was done? He was better?!

            Louis could see that Harry was a loss for words and kissed him, smiling when they broke apart.

            “It’s over, Harry,” he went on. “We can have a life together. An actual life, that isn’t spent in bed or the bathroom or the hospital.”

            Harry carried on crying, good tears, of course, but he still was having trouble forming words, as it was hard to speak when it was hard to breathe. Louis kissed him again.

            “I see that you’re in shock,” he said. “I’m sorry I sprung this on you. To be honest, these past few chemo treatments have been to make sure there aren’t any more cancer cells hiding anywhere, but he’s confident now that we’ve killed them all. It will take a bit, and I may still feel sick from treatments for a few months, but it’s basically finished.”

            “Why didn’t you tell me?” Harry finally asked. “I’m not mad, but, fuck, I thought…well…I thought you were _dying_.”

            “I know,” Louis said, looking slightly guilty. “I really am sorry, but you know the saying that it gets better before it gets worse? Well, I was afraid that that was what was happening. I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up and then find out there was actually no hope at all. I love you. I just wanted to save you as much pain as possible.”           

            “I’m not mad,” Harry assured the other again, cupping his face in his hands as he kissed his lips gently. “How could I be anything but ecstatic right now when you’re better, Louis? I always knew your suffering would end soon one way or the other, but I was so scared that this wouldn’t be the way and…fuck!”

            Louis laughed once again, kissing his husband more passionately.

            “There’s one thing, Harry,” he said when they broke apart, sliding off of the man’s lap to kneel beside his chair on one knee.

            “What…what are you doing?” Harry asked, heart hammering again.

            “Will you marry me, Harry? Again? And not because I’m sick and it will be convenient that way, but because I’m healthy and I want to spend the rest of my entire long, life with you?”

            Harry couldn’t even see anymore, he was crying so hard. His tears were falling down on Louis’s hands, wrapped around his own, but Louis didn’t move, waiting patiently until Harry composed himself to say a ‘yes’ and throw himself on the floor, pulling Louis close to him and place kisses all over his face and neck; his pulse beating steady and strong underneath his lips.

 

 

           

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, the end was going to be a lot longer, but I got stuck at this part and then after thinking about it for a while, decided I kind of liked how it was still a bit open-ended. With that being said, I am not completely shut down to the idea of another part, whether it be just another one shot taken a few years down the road or a whole sequel, so we will see how that goes!
> 
> For anyone interested reading the Niam spin-off, it is going to be posted on Sunday (or Monday, depending on time zones.) It will be on my [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/it-hurts-doesnt-it) but also on ao3. It will simply be called For Life and Love: The Niam Chronicles because I am tired and brain dead and need to come up with a title like now
> 
> Edit: It is now Sunday and not up because my file has been damaged (again) thanks to my corrupt laptop. I am attempting the last of three file recovery programs before starting over. New goal is Tuesday!!!
> 
> Okay, I'm done rambling! You guys/gals have put up with that enough! Thanks for all of the support and if you would like to give feedback on whether you think there should be another part/sequel/or just stay like this, feel free :)


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